Funny craigslist ad XXLCVLDEIIICSLCSXXIL

[steveksux]

http://detroit.craigslist.org/mcb/muc/1620506741.html

I'm a great pro bass player looking for a new band, and have a lot of experience playing in all kinds of bands. I don't like to brag, but to be honest I'm the best bass player in Detroit.
I am picky about the kind of music I play. I don't like playing in original bands, because most of the players in those bands aren't good enough to play covers, and I don't like country because it's for morons. I'll play any style except reggae, ska, country, originals, classical, hip hop, rap, alternative, jazz, punk, new age, classic rock, or metal. I play current rock, and only current rock, even though most of it sucks, so I'm extremely particular about the kind of music I play. Think Nirvana meets Eric Clapton, with a touch of Motor Head thrown in (I know they're not NEW, but that's the style of music I prefer). If that is the kind of music you play, hit me up, otherwise don't waste my time.
I'm ready to play immediately. I just need a little help financially to get my bass out of the pawn shop, and it would be great if you can loan me a little for strings, just until we get paid from our first gig, and I'll pay you back. I'm going through a messy divorce, but fortunately I get my kids part of the time, usually on the weekends. That won't be a problem though, because I can get a babysitter if I have enough notice if a gig comes up. I don't have a phone right now, but I'm planning to get a prepaid one as soon as I get a job. I'm staying with a friend right now and writing this on his computer, so you can contact me here. He says I can stay here one more month before I have to find a new place.
I'm hoping to move back in with my Mom, but for some reason she's not returning my calls. My car got repossessed recently, so it would be great if someone in the band can give me a ride and haul my b ass, just until we get things going and we start making some serious money. My brother knows a guy whose sister is dating the ex-drummer of a band in Fargo,
North Dakota that used to get some bookings from an agent in Portland, who's cousin is the wife of a lawyer that who was hired to put together a deal for a band that almost got a contract with a big record company in Los Angeles before the deal fell through. Bottom line is, I've got great connections.
Yes, I am in RECOVERY, and part of recovery is admitting you have a problem, but I haven't had any significant relapses since my last stint in rehab, I only smoke a little pot, and only on the breaks, and I'm always careful nobody sees me in the parking lot. All other form of recreation wait until AFTER the gig!
Besides, unlike some other bass players in Detroit that have on-going "issues" (you bass players know who you are) you know you can absolutely count on me staying sober and NOT HAVING A SUBSTANCE ABUSE OR ALCOHOL PROBLEM because my doctor says any of that stuff will interfere with the effectiveness of my medication.
I'm ready to play, so if you want the best bass player in Detroit, hit me up!

Weed

This is full of WIN!!

Randy

[bigchad64]

Wait, that ended up in the Detroit CL? I was trying to put it in the KC area...thanks for the heads up!

[JimiLL]

Me thinks a fake

[pica]

I saw that same ad too. Pretty funny real or not. (Although I doubt it's real).

[reedo35]

Humorous, but I smell BS...

[Hayseed]

Same wording as that one in Richmond somebody posted.

[MKoby]

That's scary like a saxophone player I worked with (once), except read heroin instead of alcohol.

[Beej]

A dollah fitty sez da OP wroted de ad...

[Drop-the-One]

gotta wonder how many CL posts we humour @ are real