Funny Stories Anyone?

[wazoppi]

Love to hear 'em.

[wabbit]

yeah c'mon people, this forum is way too serious .. say something funny

[ROCKWOOD]

ok I'll start.

I played a real workhorse of a bass - a 1st gen G&L B1000.
I was used to playing large halls, so my habit was to pick
up the bass by the neck & strap & sorta throw it up in the
air to put it on. Never really thought what it looked like or
ceilings or anything. Imagine my embarrasment when I took
out a drummers ceilingfan before the audition even started.
Yeah - the bass didn't get a scratch.

[BassChuck]

Originally Posted by ROCKWOOD

ok I'll start.

I played a real workhorse of a bass - a 1st gen G&L B1000.
I was used to playing large halls, so my habit was to pick
up the bass by the neck & strap & sorta throw it up in the
air to put it on. Never really thought what it looked like or
ceilings or anything. Imagine my embarrasment when I took
out a drummers ceilingfan before the audition even started.
Yeah - the bass didn't get a scratch.

Did you tell him to take the cost of the fan out of your first gig check?

[JmJ]

At a friends gig, the guitarist was showboating & acting crazy onstage.
During one "passionate" solo section the guitar player gets down on his knees
in front of the bass player. As he does this he pulls the cable out of the amps input jack, The bass player, staring down at the guitarist who was flicking his tongue in the direction of his crotch, stops playing & stares in disbelief. The drummer, hearing the others stop, stands to see what the heck is going on. The silence was deafening & there is poor guitarist, center stage on his knees. Everyone but the guitarist busts out laughing. He gets up to the mike (till this I never saw a black guy blush) and mumbles "we'll be back in ten minutes" & slinks off the stage. The band, mercifully, never brought up the incident again.

[guizzy]

Originally Posted by JmJ

At a friends gig, the guitarist was showboating & acting crazy onstage.
During one "passionate" solo section the guitar player gets down on his knees
in front of the bass player. As he does this he pulls the cable out of the amps input jack, The bass player, staring down at the guitarist who was flicking his tongue in the direction of his crotch, stops playing & stares in disbelief. The drummer, hearing the others stop, stands to see what the heck is going on. The silence was deafening & there is poor guitarist, center stage on his knees. Everyone but the guitarist busts out laughing. He gets up to the mike (till this I never saw a black guy blush) and mumbles "we'll be back in ten minutes" & slinks off the stage. The band, mercifully, never brought up the incident again.

Hilarious!

That's the kind of stunt you kinda have to discuss with your bandmates BEFORE, so they'll play along!

[quale213]

Alright, 2 stories from high school band.
1) playing in front of a decent size crowd (1000), we are ending our set, and it was known before hand this was our last gig before we split. so we are on the last verse of the last song of our last set when all of a sudden the lights must have hit our lead guitard in the eyes weird because he all of a sudden fell down to his right, crashing his new gretsch hollow body into the stage and nailing himself in the balls on the edge of the guitar. needless to say he didnt move much and thats how our band finished.

2) Earlier on with the same band i was jumping up and down on stage and one of the times i did a karate kick which sent my haphazardly tied to shoe sailing across the stage and hitting some fan in chest. they were not happy.

[ROCKWOOD]

Originally Posted by BassChuck

Did you tell him to take the cost of the fan out of your first gig check?

Oh yeah, of course!

Heres a couple more:

I was surfing for a string bass pickup while at work. The
headline on the screen when a coworker walked up was
"Bass Master Pro". To which my coworker replied, "I did
not know your were a fisherman."

UPS brought me 2 basses. As the driver was getting them
off the truck, he asked, "what kind of guns are these?"
I simply replied, "four string!"

[bassteban]

There was a lady who mixed up her valium & birth control pills. She has 14 kids but doesn't care.

[NJL]

Originally Posted by bassteban

There was a lady who mixed up her valium & birth control pills. She has 14 kids but doesn't care.

LMFAO!!!!!!

[NJL]

Originally Posted by ROCKWOOD

UPS brought me 2 basses. As the driver was getting them
off the truck, he asked, "what kind of guns are these?"
I simply replied, "four string!"

i ordered a 4x10 and ups was delivering it.. he was all pissed, "what's in here???"

i go outside the door and look around all paranoid, "jimmy hoffa"

he went from being pissed to laughing hard.

[voodoobassist]

Early 70's.....guitard wants to start the show with him leaping from about a 6 foot platform to the stage below with some huge strobe lights going,....dramatic huh?....him flying through the air in stop motion,..he could just picture how cool he was gonna look! Well,..he practices jumping off the platform a few times,... no problem,..comes time for the actual show,....lights are off,....drummer gives the count,...he leaps,....strobes begin flashing,.....btw,.he didnt practice his jump with the strobes running,...the flash lighting evidently throws his balance out of whack,.... I watch him coming down,...terror slowly building in his face in stop motion as he realizes he's lost all sense of balance,....and....BAM!!! he hits the floor on his side,..guitar makes an ungodly racket from crashing with him,....he can't get up,...strobes are still messing with his equilibrium I guess,......I stood there ,.....thankful that i had declined jumping along with him from the other platform,....still wish I had pictures of his leap into coolness!!!

[bassteban]

I read that 80% of your balance is visual. Looks like dude didn't read that.

[Obe]

Originally Posted by quale213

...
2) Earlier on with the same band i was jumping up and down on stage and one of the times i did a karate kick which sent my haphazardly tied to shoe sailing across the stage and hitting some fan in chest. they were not happy.

Reminds me of South Park when the gang got "served" and Butters is dancing and his shoe flies off, killing a bunch of people.

[Joe.shaffer]

I was in a highschool band playing a show in a local club and decided to jump onto the drum riser then on top of my amp. Cleared the drums with no problem hit the top of my amp it tipped over throwing me into a 1/2 flip. Luckly my chest broke my basses strap button first fall. Best part- it's all on video!



no this video is not available for public viewing

[easyvision]

Originally Posted by Joe.shaffer

no this video is not available for public viewing

Then it didn't happen

[Joe.shaffer]

Originally Posted by easyvision

Then it didn't happen

Oh my pride still bears the scars as proof.

[jjbamaman]

My band was playing at a college party here in the deep south. The drummer had a riser there to set up on. He was excited! Well about the third set, we were rocking pretty hard in the middle of a song and all of a sudden, NO DRUMS! We looked back and he had scooted off the back of the riser! I was laughing too hard to help! Some girls helped him up behind the riser and he jumped up with his arms raised up and the crowd went wild. He told me later, it knocked the breath out of him.

[wabbit]

So many bush bash stories and so little time. The story that comes to mind at the moment was one particular bush bash we were playing when i was 14 years old with a fairly sizeable crowd (approx 5k). We were in the middle of a song, I was grooving with the drummer and watching him. He's kinda looking around while he's playing and the next thing i know, mid song, he gets out of his stool as quick as lightening, jumps off the back of the hay wagon and is now starting to run like a bat outta hell.

About three seconds later a HUGE dude runs by the back of the stage and is now running after the drummer.

The band kept playing while our drummer was running away from this dude. I was probably on some pharmaceuticals at the time, you know ..... ummmm ..... Benadryl or something like that ..... yeah, that's the ticket ..... anywho, i was laughing my ass off because there was no way this big burly guy was gonna catch our drummer and he eventually ran outta steam. Our drummer jumps back in his stool as stage security finally escorts the dude and his girlfriend outside the event.

Apparently, just before we went onstage, our drummer was walking by a group of people, spotted this random girl and slid his sticks between her legs across her naughty bits as he walked by. For some strange reason she took offence to this and started to look for her boyfriend to tell him what happened.

I guess it took about a song and a half for her to find him and for him to find our drummer. Our drummer wasn't the smartest or most subtle cat.

[wazoppi]

Originally Posted by wabbit

So many bush bash stories and so little time. The story that comes to mind at the moment was one particular bush bash we were playing when i was 14 years old with a fairly sizeable crowd (approx 5k). We were in the middle of a song, I was grooving with the drummer and watching him. He's kinda looking around while he's playing and the next thing i know, mid song, he gets out of his stool as quick as lightening, jumps off the back of the hay wagon and is now starting to run like a bat outta hell.

About three seconds later a HUGE dude runs by the back of the stage and is now running after the drummer.

The band kept playing while our drummer was running away from this dude. I was probably on some pharmaceuticals at the time, you know ..... ummmm ..... Benadryl or something like that ..... yeah, that's the ticket ..... anywho, i was laughing my ass off because there was no way this big burly guy was gonna catch our drummer and he eventually ran outta steam. Our drummer jumps back in his stool as stage security finally escorts the dude and his girlfriend outside the event.

Apparently, just before we went onstage, our drummer was walking by a group of people, spotted this random girl and slid his sticks between her legs across her naughty bits as he walked by. For some strange reason she took offence to this and started to look for her boyfriend to tell him what happened.

I guess it took about a song and a half for her to find him and for him to find our drummer. Our drummer wasn't the smartest or most subtle cat.

LMAO!!