Genetically Modified Bass Players

[meev991]

If you could genetically modify someone to play bass/selectively breed for certain physical/mental attributes, what things would you incorporate ?

Amusing/creative comments greatly appreciated

[jonathan_matos5]

no tendons binding the ring and middle fingers together and extra long fingers. harder fingernails that can be used as a pick and get a decent sound.

[KekChoz]

big forearm muscles
and patches of hard skin on all fingers
and like jonathan said, no tendons binding the ring and middle fingers together and extra long fingers.

Man, i would surely kick ass.

[Vileem]

something along the lines of this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kxsv5dvqy7A

[moogboy]

double jointed thumbs
long fingers
no finger nails in the left hand
perfect finger nails in the right hand
ability to naturally pick out the basslines in songs
perfect pitch
perfect ears
perfect tab, music and chart reader
millions of dollars to spend on gear

[Mark Perry]

An incredibly strong left (or right for lefties) shoulder - no more weight related issues.
Wrists comepletely immune to CTS.

[bassbully43]

Originally Posted by Vileem

something along the lines of this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kxsv5dvqy7A

I think that's one of the stupidest things i have ever seen.

[the_fonz]

blonde hair, blue eyes, tall, muscular

oh wait, you said bass player, not Aryan race

[evan_phi]

Originally Posted by the_fonz

blonde hair, blue eyes, tall, muscular

oh wait, you said bass player, not Aryan race

that made no f*cking sense.



i would want perfect pitch. thats it.

oh, and invincibility to joint-related pain/conditions.

[Depth_Charge]

I would genetically modify the bass playing psyche to include race knowledge so each new bassist born is the collective of those who came prior

Originally Posted by the fonz

oh wait, you said bass player, not Aryan race

Originally Posted by evan_phi

that made no f*cking sense.

Yes, it did. Do some research on WW2! Concentrate that research to "genetic modification". Read. Learn. Feel the shock!

For some people, the scars of that period in history still bleed today. These threads, while innocent on their own, can resurface memories.

I feel that may have been the point behind that senseless comment perhaps?

[meev991]

Originally Posted by Depth_Charge

For some people, the scars of that period in history still bleed today. These threads, while innocent on their own, can resurface memories.

I feel that may have been the point behind that senseless comment perhaps?

why is it that every humour thread ends up turning up like this

I would make my bassplayer 7 ft tall, so he can play a 14ft tall bass

imagine the range

[Depth_Charge]

Originally Posted by meev991

why is it that every humour thread ends up turning up like this

You know why. Someone makes a thoughtless comment, either in jest or ignorance, that risks offending people.

Then someone who recognises the potential for offense and conflict seeks to say something to offer a new perspective or clarify a point on a misunderstanding like "the Aryan race has nothing to do in a humorous discussion on genetic modification, that makes no f****** sense at all".

A flame war ensues among disagreers for a while and some people start ramming their post count up just to ask why its happening, which further fuels the machine until the mods have to delete it. I think thats why. Sure, the people who sense issues could just shut up...

Oh, that, and the fact not everyone finds the same thing funny, even in a "humourous" thread.

Should I be allowed to say I would genetically engineer colour out of bassplayers to remove the "white people have no rythm" jab we hear all the time, because the thread I'm in started in a humorous light?

No, I didn't think so either.

[tadawson]

Originally Posted by Depth_Charge

Should I be allowed to say I would genetically engineer colour out of bassplayers to remove the "white people have no rythm" jab we hear all the time, because the thread I'm in started in a humorous light?

Most definitely. And guess what, you just did!

C'Mon folks . . . anyone who has downed enough crack to think that there is any tie in between this thread and Nazi Germany seriously needs to consider rehab . . . .

We should be allowed to speak what is on our bind, without the risk of getting black eyes due to someone else's excessive knee-jerk reaction! Take it in the vein it was delivered . . . don't try to fabricate "hidden meanings" that just plain aren't there!

As much as it pains me sometimes, folks do have the right to do or say seemingly stupid things now and again . . . (and some of you probably think I just did . . . . whatever . . . . )

- Tim

[funkalicious101]

i dont know whats more retarded.....

that slap bass king video or how people are tying this thread to nazi ideology.


oops, i said retarded. everyone rail on this guy right here

[Depth_Charge]

Originally Posted by tadawson

Most definitely. And guess what, you just did!

I never stated my position mate so no, in the context (vein) I was talking in, I did not say that at all. I'm offended! You said I'm a rascist (j/k)

Originally Posted by tadawson

C'Mon folks . . . anyone who has downed enough crack to think that there is any tie in between this thread and Nazi Germany seriously needs to consider rehab . . . .

Haha, yeah you're right! I do take things seriously too often Never had coke tho.

And IMO the tie does exist - a comment on the Aryan race was made, and a senseless comment that its irrelevant tied them idea together.

The combination of those 2 posts stung a little as my family was touched by WW2, hence my reply. Again I am sorry you don't like the content of my posts.

Originally Posted by tadawson

We should be allowed to speak what is on our bind, without the risk of getting black eyes due to someone else's excessive knee-jerk reaction!

Sure we should. But it's a big world on TB, with a lot of opinions, so we just can't. And most of us don't, unless we are making a point or using an an example I've found.

But I tell you what mate, you email me every posters personal threshholds to various topics and I'll better know when to say what, OK? I've only been here since Sep 06, so I'm still scoping the personalities out and a lot of people don't follow rules...

Originally Posted by tadawson

Take it in the vein it was delivered . . . don't try to fabricate "hidden meanings" that just plain aren't there!

I don't think I did find a hidden meaning, it was pretty clear. Maybe not to those who know the history, and sure, I could have taken the thread in the vein it was meant.

But then so could the_fonz with the Aryan race post, or evan_pi with the "irrelevant second" post, and here you are, chastising me, Mr Neutral 3rd party, in public, for standing up for my own beliefs. Go away mate

Originally Posted by tadawson

As much as it pains me sometimes, folks do have the right to do or say seemingly stupid things now and again . . . (and some of you probably think I just did . . . . whatever . . . . )

Yeah it pains me to ignore 99% of the BS that gets bandied about here. It's the 1% I can't stomach that result in these verbal public lynchings when people ask "me" why this happens.

And yes everyone does have that right, provided the "do" does not incringe on anothers rights...

***
Phew!
***


Back to Topic,

Originally Posted by meev991

"If you could genetically modify someone to play bass/selectively breed for certain physical/mental attributes, what things would you incorporate ?"

8 fingers per hand would be great for playing bass I reckon. And 4 arms too - we could play those bass/guitar combo axes and rack more guitarists off!! A devil tail, horns, angel wings or a halo would be awesome too, just because it would look cool

[Human Bass]

More independency between the middle and ring is classic.

[Poop-Loops]

To have all fingers be of the same length. None of this "my pinky is weak!" garbage.

[aesir6]

Just have the arms be interchangable basses that are controlled by your mind. And when you break a string they come out of your fingers and reattach(Hell that might be a super hero more than a bass player??)

[funkalicious101]

Originally Posted by aesir6

Just have the arms be interchangable basses that are controlled by your mind. And when you break a string they come out of your fingers and reattach(Hell that might be a super hero more than a bass player??)

sounds like the public would think of him more like a villain.

[meev991]

Originally Posted by funkalicious101

sounds like the public would think of him more like a villain.

sounds like the public hates bass players