A gig tantrum, first ever

[richtea]

I’m not really sure why I’m posting this, other than to share my embarrassment.

I have been playing for the best part of 30 years, and in all that time I have placed huge importance on professional behaviour, particularly when gigging. On Friday night however, I lost it.

It is the last song of a 4 & 1/2 hour gig, Zombie by the cranberries, the band rocks this song. The bass part is simple yet iconic. Our drummer, also the band leader and a good friend, has the tendency to pick up tempo as the song builds. I turn around and say to him, “watch the tempo, just hold it steady”. He nods. We play. It takes all of one verse and I feel the tempo creeping up, so, mildly irritated I switch from grove mode to hand break mode, playing just behind the beat. I know some guys can do it without thinking, but for me it takes allot of mental energy. And something that I had already had to do on 3 o 4 numbers earlier that night.

It’s working and holds the tempo. I am tired and a bit grumpy, and I begin to think about what’s happening, I should be dancing and having a great time playing this song, the dance floor is packed. The vibe in the venue is great. But I’m not, why? Because the F- in drummer can’t keep time, one of the instruments basic roles. The more I think, the more and more pi**ed off I get. Till finally I think, F it, and just let the drummer go, thinking, “Let’s see how fast this puppy will get”.

I think the song almost reached double tempo by the end. The song ends and the drummer just looked shell shocked and totally confused, not really sure what had just happened. I didn’t say a word just ripped out my wireless pack, muted my amp and headed to the bar. Then almost instantly started to feel guilty, and went to apologize to everyone, except the drummer, (I wasn’t feeling that guilty). Anybody else have a straw that broke the camel’s back tantrum?

[loopee]

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[Stumbo]

After 4 1/2 hours? Low blood sugar? Dehydration?

Otherwise I suggest you let it go.

Our drummer, also the band leader and a good friend, has the tendency to pick up tempo as the song builds.

So he does this regularly. Maybe get a visual metronome for the drummer to fix the problem. Repeated talking to him about, pointing it out to him or getting angry didnt' fix it.

Why keep going down the same road expecting different results?

[JKos]

You call that a tantrum? I think you handled it extremely well.

- John

[Rocksolid]

Ask him what he think happened considering he looked so shell shocked and see what he comes up with. If he comes up empty then give it to him with both barrels.

Mind you - tearing strips off a drummer the day after a show is like kicking your dog for tearing your washing off the clothes line when you get home from work - they know they must have done something wrong but the incident and the beratting are too far apart for them to actually put the 2 together....

[OOZMAN]

Originally Posted by JKos

You call that a tantrum? I think you handled it extremely well.

- John

+1

[richtea]

Originally Posted by Stumbo

So he does this regularly. Maybe get a visual metronome for the drummer to fix the problem. Repeated talking to him about, pointing it out to him or getting angry didnt' fix it.

Why keep going down the same road expecting different results?

I bought him a really cool metronome a couple of months ago. It is simple to use and has a huge screen so that I can see the tempo when it’s clipped to his kit. Why did I buy it? Because after suggesting he gets one numerous times he didn’t. Even though it’s there, and it was free, he just won’t use it.
We have a rehearsal tomorrow night to run though some new stuff for Fridays gig. I am interested to see if my petulant behaviour on Fri has any impact.

[richtea]

Originally Posted by Rocksolid

.

Mind you - tearing strips off a drummer the day after a show is like kicking your dog for tearing your washing off the clothes line when you get home from work - they know they must have done something wrong but the incident and the beratting are too far apart for them to actually put the 2 together....

LOL. That’s funny, and probably true.

[Freddels]

I think you handled it rather well. In my band, it took us 2.5 months of auditioning drummers only to come up with 3 of them that didn't speed up. We chose one of them that fit in with the band. Speeding up is one of my pet peeves with drummers. I don't want to spend my night babysitting them.

I don't think a metronome is going to help him. Having a solid sense of time is just one of those things that is developed over years of playing and if he doesn't have it by now, he probably won't ever have it.

[Crazyeelboy]

Richtea - I don't see that you did anything wrong here. It is the drummer's job to keep time and while you can help, it is his job, really.

As for dealing with the tendency to speed up, does he really know how much he is speeding up? By trying to manage the tempo from your position, you may be hiding the problem a bit. Here's an idea. Record your next rehearsal but also don't try to control the tempo - let the drummer take it where he will. Then listen to the results with the whole band.

Freddels may be right, though, perhaps he just does not have the sense of time and won't get it...

[richtea]

Originally Posted by Freddels

I think you handled it rather well. In my band, it took us 2.5 months of auditioning drummers only to come up with 3 of them that didn't speed up. We chose one of them that fit in with the band. Speeding up is one of my pet peeves with drummers. I don't want to spend my night babysitting them.

I don't think a metronome is going to help him. Having a solid sense of time is just one of those things that is developed over years of playing and if he doesn't have it by now, he probably won't ever have it.

I think you’re right the metronome is probably not going to help much with the speeding up mid song, I thought it might help with at least starting the song at the right tempo, another common occurrence.
I play in another band whose drummer is rock solid, but he uses the metronome to regulate the starting tempo. He has all the song BPM’s written down and dials each one into the metronome before we start the song; it helps me with the tracks I start because I can see the screen.
I think I am just having a moan, I know that the likely hood of solving this problem is slim at best. So it’s get used to it or leave. Leaving is looking likely right now. It’s a shame because all the guys are really great and we are booked solid into mid August (for us that’s 4 Fri’s and two Sat’s a month).

[richtea]

Originally Posted by Crazyeelboy

Richtea - I don't see that you did anything wrong here. It is the drummer's job to keep time and while you can help, it is his job, really.

As for dealing with the tendency to speed up, does he really know how much he is speeding up? By trying to manage the tempo from your position, you may be hiding the problem a bit. Here's an idea. Record your next rehearsal but also don't try to control the tempo - let the drummer take it where he will. Then listen to the results with the whole band.

Freddels may be right, though, perhaps he just does not have the sense of time and won't get it...

I think that most of us agree that one of the main foundational roles of a drummer is to keep tempo. My guilt stems from the fact that I had the ability to control the tempo but in a temper made a decision not to. Although it’s not my job, by not applying my skills to the problem the tempo rose to comical levels and as a result I let the rest of the band down. Which in hindsight is not cool.

[Freddels]

Originally Posted by richtea

I think that most of us agree that one of the main foundational roles of a drummer is to keep tempo. My guilt stems from the fact that I had the ability to control the tempo but in a temper made a decision not to. Although it’s not my job, by not applying my skills to the problem the tempo rose to comical levels and as a result I let the rest of the band down. Which in hindsight is not cool.

You had to make a point and it's the only way to do it. The rest of the band probably doesn't realize all the times that you've had to try to keep the drummer in check. Now, do it in rehearsal a couple more times and they'll see. You'll have to make a decision to continue on, leave the band, or find a new drummer.

[hrodbert696]

That doesn't sound like a tantrum, more like a sulk.

Sounds like you need a talk with the drummer. I had a couple of times when tempo ran out of control, but it was because of the guitarist playing the intro way too fast. When the drummer and I came in we tried to reel it back but guitar and vox were off and running and wouldn't follow the beat. It was either play at their ridiculously fast time or have a complete train wreck.

That band isn't together any more.

[BassNeo]

If this is a chronic thing and you have tried to help him by buying a metronome for him and he's brushed you off I'd be more than a little P-O. Your reaction wasn't out of line in any way shape or form and band leader or not he should understand your frustration.

When you go to practice see what the 'vibe' is with the band. If there's an elephant in the room, address it but be clear that you're tired of the situation. I'm sure the rest of the band feels the same way on some level, or at least recognizes the problem.

[richtea]

Originally Posted by Freddels

You had to make a point and it's the only way to do it. The rest of the band probably doesn't realize all the times that you've had to try to keep the drummer in check. Now, do it in rehearsal a couple more times and they'll see. You'll have to make a decision to continue on, leave the band, or find a new drummer.

All good points, and I think that I will try just backing off on the tempo control in rehearsals. I need to bring it up first with the whole band. Otherwise I don’t think any one will know what’s happening.
I think they also need to understand that this is an issue that I feel strongly enough about to cause me to leave. Which is sad because it will probably finish the band as I own a lot of the gear ( PA, keyboards, lights, mic’s) and bassists are fairly thin on the ground here right now.

[richtea]

Originally Posted by hrodbert696

That doesn't sound like a tantrum, more like a sulk. .

OK I stand corrected.
Tantrum, sulk, either way not particularly adult.

[SBassman]

I come from the camp that says every member of the band shares responsibility for the tempo - not just the drummer.

[Auzzie-Phoenix]

have him play timing games on a game console where you get penalized for being off time. back in the late 90's there were quite a few dancing/rhythm games that use a standard 4 beat. Get him playing these so that he solidifies on timing, then move on to other things.

Also, if he won't use the metronome of his own volition, set it up for him so that you know it's there, and is active. Get him in the habit of using it. If it's in his field of vision, he'll subconsciously start to zero in on it. Out of sight out of mind is his mentality with the metronome, but if you put it in his sight he won't be able to ignore it. If it's enough of a problem, try helping him out as a band by doing nothing but timing exercises until he gets it right. It sounds like you have a decent drummer, it'd be easier to work with him on timing in an active way than to replace him for not keeping time. Also, record a practice, isolate the drums as best as possible and have him listen.

[49sfine]

I would love more info on this visual metronone that was mentioned - would like to get one actually!