Girlfriends or wives getting hit-on at gigs?

[FingerPulse]

(I can't believe this issue hasn't come up before??)
For those of you that bring your wives or girlfriends to the gigs (or you gals that bring your hubbies/boyfriends), how do feel when you see guys trying to talk to them or dance with them when you're on stage playing? I'm in a new relationship and this is a new situation for me. It's usually not a big deal, I mean, I know my girlfriend is attractive and she's going to get some attention. But, I have to admit that it has made the gigging experience slightly more stressful because I feel like I'm frequently keeping an eye on where she is, making sure some dude isn't trying to get too friendly. Our drummer has the same problem, except his wife gets hit-on even more than my girlfriend! In fact just a couple of weeks ago the drunken club owner had his paws all over her on the dance floor. He took it in stride, but jeez!

Now I know some of you must have some good stories....

[jimmothy.green]

Fortunately enough for me I've also got great friends that come to my gigs as well and they all hang out.

Also, most of my gigs are 3-4 hour cover gigs so the lady really isn't fond of going to every one of them.

[LowDown Hal]

no picture = no hot girl friends




sorry, but it needed saying :-)

[Joel S.]

Originally Posted by LowDown Hal

no picture = no hot girl friends




sorry, but it needed saying :-)

Excellent point.

Being overly concerned usually means there's an underlying trust issue. I personally don't care, because I trust my gf.

[downneck]

sounds like your girl isn't firm enough in letting guys know she's not available. maybe she's not into confrontation, maybe she likes the attention, maybe something less benign...i'd talk to her about it frankly and openly.

[Jehos]

Originally Posted by Joel S.

Being overly concerned usually means there's an underlying trust issue. I personally don't care, because I trust my gf.

This. Either man up and trust your woman to go home with you no matter who the guy trying to pick her up is, or ditch her. You're feeling the curse of dating a beautiful woman.

[greenboy]

I don't worry about mine because I make her stay home when I go gigging - so I can hit on the drummer's babe. Oops - d-d-d-d-id I say that last part out loud?

<mutter, fume>...But I just know the ol' lady's got the cable guy or the milk man over...</mutter, fume>

[Dr_Funkdamental]

Originally Posted by downneck

sounds like your girl isn't firm enough in letting guys know she's not available. maybe she's not into confrontation, maybe she likes the attention, maybe something less benign...i'd talk to her about it frankly and openly.

+1. You two should establish something beforehand. I mean, I actually admire when guys hit on my wife because to me, that just compliments my taste. I have a high tolerance for that. However, if the cat cant take a hint or a letdown, its 'gentlemen' time. Certain ppl can handle certain levels. Some cats get jealous even when someone looks at their girl. Others dont mind it if they are on the dance floor doing the forbidden dance LOL.

[revlimitbounce]

Musical interlude...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EKD-fPSncbo

[Marksb_2000]

I kind of enjoy it when guys hit on my wife at gigs. I trust her completely and we get a big laugh out of it later. Plus I like being married to a lady that other guys think is hot LOL

[jugoziithouu]

Oh thats easy

When she sees you, point to your bass like saying "this is you after the gig b**ch" and slap it furiously with rage burning in your eyes a couple of times..

Just kidding x)

I happen to have no problem with my gf being hit by other guys since not only do i believe in her but shes not really interested most of the time (which is probably why i dont mind), but depends on what kind of person your gf is really.. i guess it gives you the right to hit on other chicks and do it just to see how she reacts, but really its your gf so its safe to assume you know her so just make something that makes her bring out the topic if it really really bothers you.

[wingnut]

For the most part, how YOU feel is not important. How does your lady feel? If she feels there's a problem, you'll most likely be the third person to know. She'll know and tell wonder boy to get to steppin' and then she'll tell you. My wife is pretty hot and very friendly. She's there to have a good time just like everybody else. I take it as a compliment when someone hits on her. It's an even bigger compliment when she says she's taken and points me out! Remember, jealousy is not HER issue, it's yours. Likely the same things that attracted you are going to attract someone else, it goes with the territory, either you'll get over it or you won't, it's your call. Just don't let insecurities ruin a good thing...

[nortonrider]

Hitting on her is fine, they can even dance.

However, when the drunk doesn't take the hint and trys the bump and grind, the ass grab, or God forbid, the Forbidden Dance, It demands a bit more of my attention.

But I trust her and for the most part she can take care of herself.

[KingCrimson]

pffft I don't mind so much but you know what i play better p***ed off anyways (thrash metal so it does help with the energy).

[QuelOround]

It makes me kinda mad to see some dude hitting on my woman, but after the last time i acted all macho and stupid. I think I'd be in the dog house if I over reacted again. That being said she's a big girl and can take care of herself, but still....

[bassflyer19]

i was going to put the youtube link to Bad Girlfriend by Theory of a Deadman, but i didnt.

my band isnt gigging yet and i am single, but i would say it depends on your trust with your woman and your tolerance to the sort of thing. i have had majorly flirty gf's, but ive developed a tolerance and always knew that she was flirting most of the time just to make me jealous. alot of chicks enjoy makin a man fume some, gives them entertainent.

[wabbit]

When in doubt, take a cue from her. How would she react if there was a girl flirting with you while you were onstage or off?

If she would freak out and start a fight at the slightest flirtation, there's your cue. She doesn't trust you and you should run for the hills.

If she would just 'kinda' keep it cool but watch you intently and wait to see what you do and 'maybe' freak out, there's your cue. She's suspicious of you and you should 'probably' run for the hills.

If she would just take it all in stride and let you have a little flirtatious fun because she implicity trusts you, there's your cue. She's a keeper. Don't f**k it up!!

If she doesn't give a rat's ass and lets you do what/whomever you want, then there's your cue. She's probably got chlamydia/gonorrhea/herpes and you should get tested ..... then run for the hills.

I would give her the same advice concerning you. You are a couple. These matters should be discussed WELL in advance and the boundaries clearly defined. If either of you cross the line, there should be no suprise if it's finished. Respect each other enough to be honest. No honesty or trust? No relationship ..... period.

In my relationship with my gf, we both fit into the third category. We know the boundaries and we implicitly trust each other so it ends up that both of us have a great time.

[MadMan118]

Originally Posted by Marksb_2000

I kind of enjoy it when guys hit on my wife at gigs. I trust her completely and we get a big laugh out of it later. Plus I like being married to a lady that other guys think is hot LOL

Mots definitely the same here.
That and my bands rhythm guitarist is about 6'3, 290lbs

[sonic assassin]

quite simple.. strap button to the cerebellum.

but im the jealous type...

[Terry Funk]

In my case it doesnt really bother me because it's something you get used to when you have an attractive girlfriend. Attractive women are going to get hit on in bars, that's just a given. I consider it a compliment on my great taste and luck, and I know who she's coming home with at the end of the gig, so no biggie.