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03-06-2007, 05:48 AM
| | Registered User | | Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: montgenevre, haut alps, france | |  good bass player jokes.
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does anyone know any really good bass player jokes. i love laughing at myself.
i am dilsexic and i have an arsanol of dyslexic jokes but i only know i bass joke.
how many bass players does it take to change a light bulb. just one but he needs a guitarist to show him where to put his fingers. 
that is it. it is a little lame and mostly not true. well once you have been playing for more than a year then it is mostly not true. so help me out people.
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03-06-2007, 06:05 AM
| | Registered User | | Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: Orlando, FL | | | Bass - The Lowest Form of Music
Bass Players Finger Better
Q - How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?
A - Six, one to change it, and the other five to fight off the lead guitarists who are hogging the light.
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Eric
TriadicalSounds.com
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03-06-2007, 07:54 PM
| | Registered User | | Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: Minocqua area, Wisconsin | | | Similar to the others -
Q. How many bassists does it take to change a light bulb?
A. 8 - One to change it, three to stop the lead guitarists from hogging the light, two to stop the drummer from telling the bassist how it should be done, and two to fight off the keyboardist from doing it with his left hand. |
03-06-2007, 08:06 PM
| | Registered User | | Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: north of chicago | | Quote:
Originally Posted by coolismeyesiis  i am dilsexic and i have an arsanol of dyslexic jokes | I pity the dyslexic athiest with insomnia, who sits awake at night wondering if there really is no dog
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03-06-2007, 08:07 PM
| | Registered User | | Join Date: Dec 2006 Location: Spring Lake, New Jersey | | | Bass players get you off with two fingers.
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03-07-2007, 02:21 AM
| | Registered User | | Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: Rockford Illinois | | | my guitarist buddy thinks this is a joke
"ha your a bassist nobody like you anyways"
i laugh at him everytime he says it and it angers him
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03-07-2007, 05:03 PM
| | Registered User | | Join Date: Feb 2007 Location: Tyneside, UK | | I know a load-
How can you tell a bassist is behind you?
You can hear their knuckles dragging on the ground!
Why don't bassists get colds?
Cause even viruses have pride.
Why don't bassists play hide-and-seek?
Cause no-one will look for them.
What did the bassist get on his IQ test?
Drool
How do you get a bassist off your front doorstep?
Pay for the pizza.
How do you get a bassist to be quiet?
Put some music infront of him.
How do you tell a stage is level
The bassist drools from both sides of their mouth.
Try this site- www.activebass.com/humor.
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Mediocre Bassist Club #706 P&W Club #71 LGBT #26 Keyboardist #40 Quote:
Originally Posted by LowDown Hal Bass Players - Do It Deep | |
03-07-2007, 05:08 PM
| | Registered User | | Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: Orlando, FL | | | I was trying to keep them to jokes that were nice to bassists. A lot of those can be changed around for any musician. But since we've gone to making fun of (not with) bassists, here's some more:
What's a gentleman?
A man that can play bass, but doesn't.
What's perfect pitch?
When you can throw a bass in a trash can from 20 feet away and not hit the rim.
What's the difference between a bass and a trampoline?
You take your shoes off to jump on a trampoline.
What's the difference between a pizza and a bassist?
A pizza can feed a family of 4.
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Eric
TriadicalSounds.com
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03-07-2007, 05:37 PM
| | Banned | | Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: Lincolnshire, UK | | | A man gives his son an electric bass for his 15th birthday, along with a coupon for four bass lessons. When the son returns from his first lesson, the father asks, "So, what did you learn?"
"Well, I learned the first five notes on the E string."
Next week, after the second lesson, the father again asks about the progress, and the son replies, "this time I learned the first five notes on the A string."
One week later, the son comes home far later than expected, smelling of cigarettes and beer. So the father asks, "hey, what happened in today's lesson?"
"Dad, I'm sorry but I couldn't make it to my lesson. I had a gig!" |
03-07-2007, 05:41 PM
| | Registered User | | Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: Orlando, FL | | That's so not funny. 
Good joke though.
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Eric
TriadicalSounds.com
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03-07-2007, 06:59 PM
| | | Bass jokes? Heh, I'm sitting on a forum full of them!
Okay okay okay, nevermind.
Last edited by Tired_Thumb : 03-07-2007 at 07:01 PM.
Reason: answered question which I removed
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03-07-2007, 08:15 PM
|  | Veteran Dispenser | | Join Date: Jun 2003 Location: Newton, Mass | | | Which is better, guitar or bass?
Bass, of course - it burns longer.
Originally heard about violins and violas.
My viola-playing friends didn't think it was very funny.
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“It is difficult to get a man to understand something when his salary depends on his not understanding it.” Upton Sinclair
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03-07-2007, 08:17 PM
| | Veteran Dispenser | | Join Date: Jun 2003 Location: Newton, Mass | | | Bassist #1: I nearly got in a fight with my drummer last night.
Bassist #2: Why, what happened?
Bassist #1: First - he turned one of my tuning pegs; then he wouldn't tell me which one!
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"Official" Black 'n' Maple Basses Owners Club - Member # 007
“It is difficult to get a man to understand something when his salary depends on his not understanding it.” Upton Sinclair
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03-07-2007, 09:05 PM
| | Registered User | | Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: tulsa oklahoma | | here is one for me what is the dynamic range of a bass trombone?
on and off
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[witty signature here]
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03-07-2007, 09:26 PM
| | Registered User
Social Media and Sales: www.creamcitymusic.com | | Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: Milwaukee, WI | | | whats the difference between a bassist and government bond?
a government bond will eventually mature and earn money...
my old guitarist loved to tell me that one...and just b/c i like it
how many bassist does it take to change a light bulb?
none. the keyboard player did it with his right hand while playign the bass line with his left
Last edited by funkadelickbass : 03-07-2007 at 09:28 PM.
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03-07-2007, 09:28 PM
| | Registered User
Social Media and Sales: www.creamcitymusic.com | | Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: Milwaukee, WI | | | how do you know if the stage is level?
the drummer drools out of both sides of his mouth! |
03-07-2007, 09:31 PM
| | Registered User
Social Media and Sales: www.creamcitymusic.com | | Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: Milwaukee, WI | | btw saxnbass...ur avatar is similar to my tatoo...i'll post a pic if i find one...or if you are interested just check my myspace... www.myspace.com/funkadelickbass |
03-08-2007, 02:07 AM
| | Registered User | | Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: Orlando, FL | | | Nice Funk.
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Eric
TriadicalSounds.com
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03-08-2007, 02:18 AM
| | Let me take you down, 'cause I'm going to... | | Join Date: Dec 2006 Location: Huntington Beach, California. | | | "You suck"
Thats my favorite.
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NO BASS, NO AMP, NO NOTHING. |
03-08-2007, 05:54 AM
| | Bassists do it with 2 fingers...and a thumb | | Join Date: Aug 2003 Location: East Coast | | Quote:
Originally Posted by saxnbass Bass - The Lowest Form of Music
Bass Players Finger Better
Q - How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?
A - Six, one to change it, and the other five to fight off the lead guitarists who are hogging the light. |
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