Great CL add!

lowendgenerator · #1 01-02-2009, 02:15 AM

This guy should be in sales!

http://chicago.craigslist.org/wcl/msg/973104852.html

OMG I almost pooped!

perogato02 · #2 01-02-2009, 02:18 AM

Yes, he is convincing

Why aren't there more salesmen like him (or her)? Shopping around for gear would be so much more fun

Steve · #3 01-02-2009, 02:28 AM

"Your drummer is hitting his kit so dam hard you think it owes him money."

Skywalker83 · #4 01-02-2009, 02:45 AM

Quote:

So then there's you. You have a Crate 80 watt combo. The thing is cranked to 11 and you can barely hear yourself because your guitar player has this giant ego wall of Marshall cabinets. Your drummer is hitting his kit so dam hard you think it owes him money. You want to provide a fat bottom end for this song but just can't. How can this band change the world with your ****** amp? You owe it to all of humanity to upgrade.

He fails to mention the free dose of hearing loss with every band paractice...

**Howlin' Hanson** · #5 01-02-2009, 05:32 AM

His writing shows that he is in sales. Colon clogging, indeed.

alembicguy · #6 01-02-2009, 05:39 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Steve

"Your drummer is hitting his kit so dam hard you think it owes him money."

Im gonna use this one sometime

PSPookie · #7 01-02-2009, 05:41 AM

Could someone please post the full text from this ad? I can't access cl from work.

Thanks

Kenbuntu · #8 01-02-2009, 05:45 AM

sure!

I have this 400 watt yorkville monster just sitting here not kicking ass. It's 400 watt removable rack mount head is mounted into a 1x15 cabinet and if that wasn't enough there is a 4x10 sitting underneath it just waiting to kick you in the balls.

So then there's you. You have a Crate 80 watt combo. The thing is cranked to 11 and you can barely hear yourself because your guitar player has this giant ego wall of Marshall cabinets. Your drummer is hitting his kit so dam hard you think it owes him money. You want to provide a fat bottom end for this song but just can't. How can this band change the world with your ****** amp? You owe it to all of humanity to upgrade.

Now you're thinking, "where the hell am I going to get $600" Well come on dude. Sell your Xbox, take the $50 Aunt Nora gave you, and add that to the last 3 checks you got from working your McJob. Put it all together in one big wad and then put that wad in my hand. And yes, I'll have fries with that but you can't pay me for the entire amp in fires. You may be thinking, will he take $450? The answer is no. Would you offer God a $150 less than what he was asking for his one and only son? No, you wouldn't. We're talking about $600 to be extremely loud. 400 watts of colon clogging power. Yes, colon clogging, this amp has so much volume it will leave you constipated.

Yorkville amps are indestructible by human means. Got a ginzu knife? Go ahead and try to cut it and you'll be looking at a ruined knife and one bad ass amp. Your bad ass amp if you act now.

I'm in Joliet, them amp is sitting in my room ready for you. The question is are you ready for it. Glory is calling collect...will you accept the charges?

PSPookie · #9 01-02-2009, 05:49 AM

Thanks Kenneth.

I wonder if he would write my cl adds for me for a small fee. It would almost be worth it just for the entertainment value.

AnchorHoy · #10 01-02-2009, 05:52 AM

Pretty good spiel

Since we're on the subject, here's a good one that went up on the Philly CL a while back

http://cnj.craigslist.org/msg/968444208.html

Kenbuntu · #11 01-02-2009, 06:51 AM

this should be moved to OT. Maybe we can get a Great CL Adds megathread going?

mjolnir · #12 01-02-2009, 07:06 AM

Oh sweet Jeebus, that's beautiful.

Please tell me that guy's a TBer... If not, we need to get him here as soon as humanly possible.

PSPookie · #13 01-02-2009, 07:17 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by lowendgenerator

OMG I almost pooped!

His Yorkville rig can fix that.

Kenny Allyn · #14 01-02-2009, 07:27 AM

CL gets all kinds ...

This one appeared about a year ago, but it was so good I had to save the text!

Blues MAN needs bass and drums.
________________________________________
Reply to: comm-54602780@craigslist.org
Date: 2008-01-20, 10:54PM EST

Hi my name is Noel McDugan and I am a Bluesman. I play a 1961 Fender Stratocaster which is all original and strung with .011's into an Ibanez tubescreamer which has been modified with a 4558 chip and all carbon comp resistors. I use a Fender Deluxe Reverb amplifier which was gutted and all the resistors were replaced with NOS allen bradley carbon comps. I play the real blues like my main man Stevie Ray Vaughan, in fact I have one of his guitar picks which I wear around my neck for mojo. I am currently engaged to a woman from Arkansas and our experiences together (such as people whispering about us and the dirty looks we get at dinner) form the basis for my blues.

I need a bass player and a drummer to back me up in the studio and maybe for some gigs too. The bass player needs to have a Fender bass built BEFORE 1965 with no ceramic tone caps ( I will have my tech at auditions to open up and check) must use all tube amplifiers pre-1980, with an 8x10 cabinet and own transportation. The drummist needs to be familiar with all the various blues beats like the shuffle, the flat tire, the shug, the funky dunk, the dirty sanchez, the chicken wing, the bristol stomp and the whap-a-dang. Please, no Sonar or Pearl kits!

I have written an album;s worth of songs "The Blues Are Falling Down On Me" "Cold Blue Rain" "I Got The Blues For My Baby" "Bluesman Blues". And need a back up band to help record it.

When applying for either position, please send a detailed description of your equipment (with photos) along with photos of yourself in gig clothing. After receiving that, I will call you to arrange an audition.

I got my mojo woiking and I hope yours is too!

... It was a good spoof ... worth reading again

Basstovsky · #15 01-02-2009, 10:01 AM

Quick! Quick! I need 600 dollars!

I know, I'll sell all my basses!

waiiiiiiiit a minute...

Dertygen · #16 01-02-2009, 04:11 PM

I wonder what inspires these people. Some ads are far too creative.

rokkitt · #17 01-02-2009, 04:28 PM

It's a trashy "60"s slingy snare, yet mysteriously deep and responsive.
Like the ugly girl you did while drunk -that rocked your world!- but you told your friends you didn't do anything with her.
That's this snare,
I won't tell.

winnah!

Valerus · #18 01-02-2009, 04:48 PM

Wow, he has me.

OtterOnBass · #19 01-02-2009, 10:23 PM

It's amazing how exciting threats of constipation, beatings and kicking in the nuts are.

WyrdoBass · #20 01-02-2009, 10:29 PM

wooooooooooooooooooooooooooh!!!