Guitarist freaks and no-shows for a benefit in a church

0utlier · #1 03-15-2010, 05:13 PM

We had a benefit gig at a church on the calendar for over a month. When I say church I mean a movie theater in the mall converted into a church. It's a progressive church whose mission is to reach young people. I show up and am told the lead guitarist isn't coming. Just some history, many times he shows up minutes before we go on stage and sometimes simply decides not to appear when we have acoustic shows. I am told he found out the previous night it was at a "church" and he balked. Everyone else knew it was at a church... anyway.

I text him that I'm disappointed he didn't show. He then goes off the rails about how he has morals and how we aren't a Christian band and shouldn't be playing at a church. Something about testing God??? We're a secular rock band, but no devil worship or questionable material. My kids come see us whenever we play kid-friendly venues if that gives you any idea.

This comes from a guy who lives with his girlfriend, has a baby with her out of wedlock, goes to the casinos and gambles every time we play on the coast, drinks like a fish, and cusses like a sailor.

He is po'ed because he thinks I was questioning his faith and belief in God. When he said that I was totally floored. The way he indulges himself I'm afraid playing rock music in a church is probably the least of his worries with God.

Is this crazy or what? I'm not particularly religious and see nothing wrong with playing in their church. We were invited to play so they didn't see anything wrong with it either. What an unbelievable hypocrite. Completely self-indulgent, while professing a belief and fear of the King James version of God. In my mind you can't have it both ways if you're a true believer.

Anyway, I think the band is now lead guitar-less. He is so PO'ed he doesn't even want to be around me. Unbelievable. Just thought I'd share.

Stinsok · #2 03-15-2010, 05:24 PM

He should have said that from the Get-Go.!

capnsandwich · #3 03-15-2010, 05:33 PM

I think there's more going on in his no-show than just that. IMO, if he's like that then I wouldn't be able to play with him. If you like him, however, get a back up lead player and let him know that it's OK to stay home. You've got him covered, maybe for good.

kesslari · #4 03-15-2010, 05:41 PM

More here than meets the eye, and more drama than I care for in my bands.
YMMV, but that's how I see it.

kb9wyz · #5 03-15-2010, 05:49 PM

Kinda weak, man. I agree that he needs to check himself. Both as a person and as a musician. But that is only from my limited view.

gumtownbassman · #6 03-15-2010, 06:02 PM

How about getting the guitard to organise a gig, then the rest of the band don't turn up for a lesson.
There is no excuse to not wanting to show up (especially at the last minute), he's let down everyone at the show, and totally crapped on you guys in the band.

snyderz · #7 03-15-2010, 06:06 PM

A last minute no-show is unacceptable. Unless it's a car wreck or something, but a moral dilemma? Give me a break. And give him the boot.

steveksux · #8 03-15-2010, 08:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 0utlier

Anyway, I think the band is now lead guitar-less. He is so PO'ed he doesn't even want to be around me. Unbelievable.

Unbelievable is right, he shouldn't have been in the band long enough to not want to be around you... Should have already been gone if he's got a habit of not showing up.

Randy

Gopherbassist · #9 03-15-2010, 09:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 0utlier

In my mind you can't have it both ways if you're a true believer.

Well then you're wrong. Just because God can forgive you for everything doesn't mean you should make him.

Munjibunga · #10 03-15-2010, 11:51 PM

NickInMesa · #11 03-15-2010, 11:53 PM

Maybe he freaked out when you said it was a PROGRESSIVE church and he's one of those dudes who listen to Rush Limbaugh in their pickup truck.

Just saying.

60's Bluesman · #12 03-16-2010, 12:21 AM

so did the show go on w.o him or did the rest of you walk off too?

Limeman · #13 03-16-2010, 12:35 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by NickInMesa

Maybe he freaked out when you said it was a PROGRESSIVE church and he's one of those dudes who listen to Rush Limbaugh in their pickup truck.

Just saying.

Hey... I listen to Rush in my pickup!

gumtownbassman · #14 03-16-2010, 12:47 AM

or he thought you said it was AGRESSIVE church.

Oren Hudson · #15 03-16-2010, 06:25 AM

Dude be gone!

jaywa · #16 03-16-2010, 08:16 AM

Benefit Gigs - Just Say No.

edpal · #17 03-16-2010, 08:31 AM

To the curb with him - not because he isn''t down with the church gigs, but because he bailed on the band for a really weak reason, and he has stood you up before. Someone else said it above, "better be a car accident or something" - AMEN!

I'm thinking a secular musician playing in[any] church should not be a problem; whereas, a "Praise & Worship" musician may be at moral odds playing at totally secular gigs. But not necessarily - shephards have to be willing to smell like sheep once in a while. God's grace washs all clean! Maybe the dude is wrestling with how he is living and thinks God is going to hit him with a lightening bolt for showing up in HIS house - that's not how God works, that is how the WORLD works.

scottbass · #18 03-16-2010, 08:42 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 0utlier

Just some history, many times he shows up minutes before we go on stage and sometimes simply decides not to appear when we have acoustic shows. I am told he found out the previous night it was at a "church" and he balked. Everyone else knew it was at a church... anyway.

There are a couple of issues here:

(1) Your lead guitarist doesn't show up when he doesn't feel like showing up. Unacceptable. I would not stay in a band with a guy like that. Either he leaves the band or I do. All that crap about how he chooses to live his life is irrelevant. A gig is a gig - if you accept it, you play it.

(2) Why didn't he know the particulars of the gig - it was at a church - until the night before? Did you know about the particulars of this gig earlier? Did you tell the lead guitarist? Don't you guys communicate? Don't you talk about upcoming gig opportunities and decide as a band whether or not to accept them? I would not stay in a band that communicates this poorly. Your band is dysfunctional, and you share equal responsibility for this situation.

P.S. If you run into Brett Favre on the street, please tell him to play for the Vikings again this coming season!

RobertPaulson · #19 03-16-2010, 02:03 PM

I would absolutely refuse to play at a church, however you would know about it well beforehand.

FuzzBoxVoodoo · #20 03-16-2010, 02:16 PM

Sounds like he is feeling guilty for his sins and cant face up to them.