Guitarists say the dumbest things.

73jbass · #1 05-08-2007, 12:38 AM

I know this doesn't apply to all out guitar brothers,but my current guitarist has let some real zingers go recently. My favorites are:
"All Stratocaster players tune down 1/2 step"
"All blues player tune down 1/2 step"
"Everybody in Nashville tunes down 1/2 step"
And the real kicker
'I don't like playing that because it's not on the fret markers".

This coming from a guy that has supposedly been playing fo 20+ years. Anybody else got an Einstein like mine on guitar in their band? This should be interesting.

T-Bird · #2 05-08-2007, 12:55 AM

Hi.

I was kinda hoping this would come up...

Song structure:

IntroAABABAABA

"There's only two chords in that tune? I think I hear more, but I can't change the position that fast"

Well...

Coming from a guy that's been playing guitar 25+ years. I might add though that the timing for the intro to Smoke On The Water is still beyond his capabilities.

And yes, he started out with that. Now that's what I'd call a learning curve.

Regards
Sam

Poop-Loops · #3 05-08-2007, 12:59 AM

A guy I know who plays guitar told me that if you want to sound good on guitar (I also play guitar. It's what I started on.), I just need to play on the fret markers. That's kind of true since you'll get most of the notes on an Em pentatonic on the fret markers, but come on...

**Vorago** · #4 05-08-2007, 05:39 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by T-Bird

Hi.

I was kinda hoping this would come up...

Song structure:

IntroAABABAABA

"There's only two chords in that tune? I think I hear more, but I can't change the position that fast"

Well...

Hahaha,

Nappa · #5 05-08-2007, 03:27 PM

My guitard friend said "I think Fender Are the only ones that put that metal rod in the neck" refering to the truss rod after i asked where his guitars truss rod was.

TyronPotamkin · #6 05-08-2007, 04:16 PM

my rythem player
"man my fretting speed is up, my double picking speed is up, I just dont know where to go once I've started"
me "learn your scales and modes, dude"
him "Na, they take to much time to learn, I just wanna know where I can go on the fret board"

My lead tells him the same thing and we both tell him on a regular basis thanks to his repetative questioning. He's good if you want chord rock or the Beatles, but we are a metal band and he's having a hell of a time following. But to defend him at the same time, this band wasnt supposed to be a metal band either, it was supposed to be along the lines of Down, Crowbar, Corrosion of Conformity, heavy sludge type sound. Well when he ran out of ideas they looked to me for songs, I can play about any style you throw at me, not saying I'm an expert at all fields, I can catch on and follow pretty good, but anyway I shall continue. My main background influence's consist of Cliff Burton, Geezer Butler, Steve Harris, David Ellefson, metal monsters of their time. So when they looked to me for music the first thing that came from me was metal at it's finest in my eyes. Well my drummer liked it, rythem liked it, so we went with it. So turning a beatles type player into a metal player has been interesting.

bassbrock · #7 05-08-2007, 04:24 PM

My guitarist: "Dude, turn your rig down! All I can hear is bass and your making me sound out of tune!"

Me: "But I'm not even playing! That's the rhythm guitar player!"

-Acid- · #8 05-08-2007, 05:01 PM

or like my friend last night
"its only got 4 strings it should be easy"
if he wasnt in detroit on the phone i might have smacked him

Aarix · #9 05-08-2007, 06:46 PM

My first guitar buddy on the subject of Yellow #5 and "male shrinkage":

I've been drinking Mellow Yellow since I was 6 and I haven't noticed any change!

He plays bass now so hopefully he's noticed enough of a change to compensate for all the Mellow Yellow.

cronker · #10 05-09-2007, 12:59 AM

My first guitarist:

"I don't want to learn the names of the notes, it will stifle my creativity"

***?

knarleybass · #11 05-09-2007, 01:08 AM

Guitar player: "What is happening is that your bass amp is sucking all the electricity out of the wall and not leaving enough for my amp, I can totally hear my amp sag when you play a loud note."
Bass Player: Eyes are rolling...

Bass. · #12 05-09-2007, 01:16 AM

it's worse when they refuse to accept any sort of criticism ... based ont he fact that they "know" more than you or some crap

knarleybass · #13 05-09-2007, 01:29 AM

[quote=73jbass;4165372]I know this doesn't apply to all out guitar brothers,but my current guitarist has let some real zingers go recently. My favorites are:
"All Stratocaster players tune down 1/2 step"
"All blues player tune down 1/2 step"
"Everybody in Nashville tunes down 1/2 step"
And the real kicker
'I don't like playing that because it's not on the fret markers".

I love the general blanket statements.

T-Bird · #14 05-09-2007, 01:57 AM

Hi.

This one didn't end up playin' any instrument (obviously) so I don't know if this qualifies but,

"I've heard that You have to learn only three chords to play ROCK, which ones You would suggest to be easiest to learn? I'd so looove to play ROCK"

What would You say? I was speechless.

Regards
Sam

Wh4len · #15 05-09-2007, 07:40 AM

A teahcer at the welding school i attend called me in for a monthly progress report. And then asked to see my bands homepage. Then we started discussing great guitarplayers and wondered over to bassplayers.... and he dropped the most standard and ignorant line ever "bass is easier to play cause it has 4 strings".

Getting annoyed i prompted him that "sure it's only got 4 strings, but that's what makes it harder"

Ignorant ass

driver800 · #16 05-09-2007, 07:52 AM

While auditioning lead guitarists for a classic rock cover band, one candidate said "I don't need to play the hooks as long as I fill the same tonal space."

uhhh...NEXT!

Yngwie 4String · #17 05-09-2007, 11:51 AM

So we walk into a room and he asks me to start a jam. So I start playing and he says "I think your basslines have too many notes in them, slow down and play less notes"

Blunt · #18 05-09-2007, 12:09 PM

Well I played with a guy that could play chords and sing.This was Beatles, The Eagles, various 70's rock and some current hits from the ensuing decades.

He could take upon any request from the crowd and then sing it.

But honestly the guy could not play single note lines to save his life.

I played a little bass solo and he was amazed.

I was amazed at his ability to sing brilliantly. Thats why its called a band.

IanStephenson · #19 05-09-2007, 01:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Aarix

I've been drinking Mellow Yellow since I was 6 and I haven't noticed any change!

Awesome...

Ian

Nairb · #20 05-09-2007, 04:27 PM

Well, I play with some pretty talented guitar players (think like playing since they were 5) But one guitar player makes me want to scream:

"Your line is more complicated then the rhythm's, bring it down a notch so it sounds like its supposed to"

"Your too loud, I can barley hear my solo!"
"I don't play during your solo.."

"Just play the roots of my chords and it will sound amazing"

or my favorite:

"Make it sound like this: POP BOOM BOOM POP BOOM BOOM. That would be amazing!"