Having to use the restroom onstage

[agreatheight]

I am diabetic and need to pee a lot when my sugars aren't well controlled. Easiest way to make sure you don't need to pee on stage:
1. 90 minute set max
2. Sip water before / during gigs, don't chug
3. Pee before taking the stage
4. No beer / shots only if I want a buzz
5. Pee on EVERY break

As for numero dos, I got nothing.

[bound'n'blocked]

Once in a band I was in, the guitar player had a car accident and broke his jaw in 5 places and ruptured his bladder. He said that he had no warning when he had to pee, the urge just hit him and he had to go RIGHT THEN! I can remember a few times in the months right after the accident that he would just take off his guitar mid song and run for the restroom!

He also carried a small set of wire cutters and a straw in his pocket during this time. I asked what they were for and he grunted, "The straw is so I can drink my beer, and the pliers are to cut the wires in my jaw if I drink too much and have to puke!". At least he was prepared....

BnB

[powderfinger]

Sometimes when I have to go onstage, I just think... "what would GG Allin do".

[dalkowski]

My time-honored solution: Leg bag

[mblackford]

A little alchohol really puts my blood pressure medication which is a diuretic into high gear. Many times I've had to duck out between songs. I just say, guys cover for me for a sec. Last show there was another guy headed to the bathroom, I told him, dude can you wait for about 10 sec. He must have seen the fear in my eyes and said no problem. It sucks but controlling your bp is pretty darn important.

[DaveyM69]

Once - many years ago. I had a Bud' or two in the break between the 1st and 2nd set in a 3 set show. The bandleader decided we we're gonna do the last two sets without a break without prior warning as the audience were well into it.

I made it halfway through what should have been the 3rd set and I just had to leave the stage to syphon off some of the beer. Strangely, when I got there, because I had been holding on so long, I couldn't actually pee!

[bound'n'blocked]

Originally Posted by powderfinger

Sometimes when I have to go onstage, I just think... "what would GG Allin do".

Luckily I wasnt there this particular night, but the company I used to work for did a show with GG Allen once and I had heard the stories about him and feces and putting microphones into body cavities and such. The next show I worked I was afraid to open the mic box and get anything out...

BnB

[Basstreble]

Well I found out that too much coffee is a bad thing before a gig. I had to turn the lows and master waaayyyy down just incase I'd accidentally hit the "brown note". Although during another gig where I played at a camp, I did get a kid(about 7 or so) to relieve himself. He hid in the bathroom for quite sometime after that!

[Kirk Bryant]

yes go before every set ..word.. I'm over 60 so I can relate to this ..last night at the gig I looked around the room and all bandmates we're schmoozing. I headed for the head and waited my turn and by the time I am getting reliefe said band starts playing. I'm just doin my #1 thang so no big time lapse and I say to myself, take your time no one gave a 2 min. warning and this band takes unpredictibily long breaks anyhow. Sorry no guilt or remorse!

[OldCrow]

Originally Posted by JoeWPgh

I knew a very good piano player, who liked his drink just a wee bit too much. So much so that he actually once vomited down his sleeve mid song. It was sad, particularrly given the guy's monsterous talent, but I guess in his mind he was doing what had to be done

True performer, as is this guy:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kSwirSG9BB4

[JohnMCA72]

Originally Posted by dalkowski

My time-honored solution: Leg bag

Another good reason not to wear shorts on stage!

[aguacateojos]

How's this for one... I was playing a funk / soul jazz gig a few years ago with some friends. Middle of the second set. I'm looking at the wall, notice that the guitar has cut out and when I turn around the guitarist is nowhere to be seen but the guitar is being played again. This was a tiny bar with the bathroom right next to the band's area... this guy went in, dropped his pants then kept playing while he relieved himself.

Never did learn which aspect of business he was taking care of.

[Bill G.]

This usually doesn't happen to me, but every now and then, especially at a venue that has free drinks for the band, I'll dash off between songs to mark my territory. No big deal; the drummer just chats with the audience for a minute. Surprisingly, we often do 4-hour gigs without taking a break!! And still I rarely need to squirt, even while drinking beer between songs. I'm only 37, so things may change soon!

[smcgov]

I was playing a dive bar gig once about 2 blocks from my house, I began getting the painful stomach cramps and broke out into a cold sweat when I realized that I had one about to breach. I probably could have set a record for sphincter tightness, the drummer started a drum solo and I ran to the bathroom, go inside and there is no lock and there is no wall dividing the pooper from the pisser. I ran outside and drove home and unleashed the most incredible explosion I've ever experienced, levee literally broke as I was sitting down. I wasn't really sick so was not sure what caused it but it was the kind of thing you never forget. I got back to the bar and the sweating drummer was giving me the stinkeye and was livid that I vanished. I asked him if he wanted me to poop live on stage? I mean it's nature, what the hell was I supposed to do? Poop my pants so that you don't have to play an extra few minutes?

[LPStephens]

Our drummer can't make it through the 3rd set without a piss break. We start playing Knocking on Heavens Door and kick it in when he's back.

We have a couple venues where I'd rather dehydrate myself than use the petri dish they have labeled as "restroom".

[chunkstyle_mm]

I played in a trio where the guitarist/singer would regularly just leave the stage to go the restroom. That was fine, the drummer and I were plenty capable of being entertaining grooving it out in his absence (and he was usually quick about it). One gig, they both left, and I was standing on stage all alone and decided to use that opportunity to try out my standup routine.

They don't take bathroom breaks mid-set anymore.

[Chebass88]

I played a gig the day I came back from my honeymoon. The combination of 14 hours worth of flights + a 6 hour time difference meant no sleep for a LONG time. I drank enough coffee & iced tea to stay awake. I left the stage, had a whiz, and came back to finish the night.

My justifications were thus:
1. The venue was almost completely empty (middle of August, most people were on vacation)
2. The keys player banged around with his left hand & no one noticed.

[Baird6869]

I played a gig a few years back and I had a bad stomach flu.

We started the gig a few minutes early and during the 1st song, by gut started percolating.... We finished the first song, I grabbed the mic and said "that was our sound check, we will start the show in 10 min"..., and ran to the crapper.

My sister was coming to the gig, so I called her and begged her to pick up Imodium on the way.

She showed up near the end of the first set, I chugged back a couple of Imodium pills with beer, went after the first set.... Then i was good. The Imodium effect is like a cork!

I try to avoid drinking too much beer onstage or between sets as there is nothing worse than being about to pee your pants and looking at the setlist to see you have 7 or 8 songs left in the set!

[JaamE]

Originally Posted by NWB

Well, Mike McCready from Pearl Jam has Crohn's Disease which gives you frequent and urgent bowel movements and has had to run off-stage several times.

He's also very open and outspoken about his condition and has done a lot to raise awareness of the disease.

Doesnt Bono from U2 also have Crohns?

[JaamE]

It's better than being a chick and feeling your protection fail 3 songs into a set while wearing shorts. :-(

That one wasn't too bad, but before i had a uterine ablation i could have never made it. I was running out of practice every 15min even with maximum protection.