Hey you - get your damn hands off her!

[MouseRat]

I have played in cover and original bands for 15 years or so, and musicians seem to complain a lot about having girls in the crowd hit on them during performances, particularly while loved ones in the audience watch in anger.

What I don't hear discussed as often is a problem me and by bandmates had quite a bit - watching other guys in the crowd hit on our girlfriends while we were mid-set. It happened nearly every show. It's a pretty helpless feeling, standing up there watching strange men trying to convince your best girl to go home with them, and you can either disrupt the show to scare them off, knowing full-well there will be other dbags in line right behind them, or you just don't come to the defense of your special someone and trust her to understand.

One venue we used to play was particularly bad, and there would be packs of guys that would come in and actually get physical, trying to drag the girls out onto the dance floors, and the girls would actually have to work in teams to deter these guys. It just kills the whole vibe for everyone.

Any similar experiences, or are they all of the "girlfriend gets angry at other girls" variety?

[Mykk]

I've had it go either direction. Shrug it off as part of the fun in the night.

In general, I think having your girlfriend/wife/love interest getting hit on by someone else is something we as guys just need to accept. As long as your comfortable in your relationship/current situation and you trust they wouldn't accept the advances from others than you don't have anything to worry about.

..also, in my experience with woman. As long as they are in a happy/healthy relationship, when other guys do hit on them it makes the guy seem pathetic and fast forwards him' into the the 'creep' category.

Hell, maybe they are just trying to get a free drink out of it. Either way, the stranger in the bar hitting on women is no means a threat to your relationship.

[dave64o]

Originally Posted by MouseRat

Hey you, get your damn hands off her!

Do you really think I should swear?

Absolutely George, you should definitely swear!

[MouseRat]

[Scott1]

Wouldn't it be worse if a room full of guys ignored her? Might set you thinking you could do better for yourself.

I trusted my girlfriend (now wife of 30 years) to shoot them down and down in flames they went. I guess it just depends how secure in the relationship you are.

[awakefie]

Originally Posted by dave64o

Do you really think I should swear?

Absolutely George, you should definitely swear!

Crispin Glover. Classic line.

[hrodbert696]

"Hey baby, what's yer sign?"

"CLOSED."

That's my wife's favorite line.

I think most women have a pretty good idea how to dodge a creep on their own and don't need you to intervene. She should understand you're working up there and won't be riding to the rescue. If it's spoiling the fun for her, I'd say that in a regularly gigging band, the wives and girlfriends don't necessarily have to show up for EVERY show.

[DeathFromBelow]

Stop the show, kick some ass.

It's rock n' roll baybay!

[mward69]

Yeah, in our line of work it is going to happen. I see guys trying to hit on my wife and within 10 sec. they get a weird look on their face and I know she shot them down.

Now I have had a few girls hit on me with wife there, I end up getting the "evil eye" from wife, I try to explain to wife afterwards that I can't just stop playing and tell the girl I am married...It's just part of the gig.

I did have one that came up as we were packing, right in front of the wife and said "I could make you forget her in 10 min" {Shaking head} Oh yeah..wife made a HUGE scene on that one...lol

[slaps76]

Never bothered me. I'd be more concerned if I was with a girl who didn't get hit on by drunk dudes...I'd then have to wonder why I'm not with an attractive girl

[BeowulfKingsley]

Yeah, you've got to be with a woman you can trust, and one you can trust to take care of herself at the gig. I remember a show I did on New Year's Eve of the "New Millennium", at a huge rowdy honkytonk in Ohio...people were drunker than I've EVER seen 'em. A huge fight broke out in the middle of the club, and the girl my girlfriend was sitting with dove over the bar to the bartender's side just in case! My girl jumped up and sat on the bar, watching...she was wearing a nice short skirt and had her legs crossed...this yahoo stumbles up and tries to put his hand on her thigh. She grabs his hand and shakes it, trying to turn a stoner pickup into a friendly encounter! But he's got two hands, and the other one goes up toward the thigh! So she shakes him off, jumps up on the bar and walks across it in her heels, leaps across to the stage, pats me on the ass as she goes by and gets into the sound booth, where she stays for the rest of the set! We're engaged now.

[Big Brother]

A few months ago I got caught secretly eyeballing the TV in the corner looking for a sports score to flash by during a set and had a girl actually pull her b**bs out of her shirt and start waving them at me, yelling "Eyes HERE! DOWN HERE!"

Funny as hell I thought, but I begged my bandmates to not bring it up or discuss on FB because I knew my gf would freak about it. That is the stuff of nightmares for certain girls.

We are split up now because of that same kind of imagination.

I always wondered how I would handle the opposite, guys hitting on my gf while onstage. When I started to see it actually happening I noticed my concern was pretty much a reflection of the state of the relationship, I felt secure so I didn't mind much. If there was a real threat though I don't know what I would do. I remember Copacabana though, I don't want Rico to shoot me.

I think the moral is to only stay in secure relationships and expect it, if you feel otherwise get out. Because otherwise, eventually something will happen to it.

[MysticMichael]

Originally Posted by slaps76

Never bothered me. I'd be more concerned if I was with a girl who didn't get hit on by drunk dudes...I'd then have to wonder why I'm not with an attractive girl

Except that drunk dudes will hit on just about anything that's wearing a skirt. Personally, I don't need some anonymous drunk dufus to validate my choices for me anyway...

MM

[MysticMichael]

Originally Posted by BeowulfKingsley

Yeah, you've got to be with a woman you can trust, and one you can trust to take care of herself at the gig. I remember a show I did on New Year's Eve of the "New Millennium", at a huge rowdy honkytonk in Ohio...people were drunker than I've EVER seen 'em. A huge fight broke out in the middle of the club, and the girl my girlfriend was sitting with dove over the bar to the bartender's side just in case! My girl jumped up and sat on the bar, watching...she was wearing a nice short skirt and had her legs crossed...this yahoo stumbles up and tries to put his hand on her thigh. She grabs his hand and shakes it, trying to turn a stoner pickup into a friendly encounter! But he's got two hands, and the other one goes up toward the thigh! So she shakes him off, jumps up on the bar and walks across it in her heels, leaps across to the stage, pats me on the ass as she goes by and gets into the sound booth, where she stays for the rest of the set! We're engaged now.

She sounds like a savvy chick. Still, I don't believe I would bring a lady to a "rowdy honky tonk" in the first place.

MM

[michael_atw]

First solution: avoid dirty bars. That's why I don't go - because I don't want to choke people.


Second solution: get a woman who knows how to lay a hammer on 'em.



My buddy has some hilarious stories about his backwoods dive bar gigs with his girlfriend present. One involves a very persistent, confident, wheelchair-bound man..



I dated a girl for a short time who fronted bands. She got hit on CONSTANTLY; to the point where it was a big issue. Some guys would call her a b***h for avoiding their advances. Too bad scumbags are so prevalent these days.

[doktorfeelgood]

One night back in the late 80's I actually came off a stage WITH my bass to straighten a dude out that would NOT take no for an answer with my GF and had started to get physical by yanking on my her arm. I never got to him tho 'cause the bouncer beat me to it. That bouncer had done like 13 tours of Nam and straightened the dude out REAL quick....bouncer just told me to get back onstage and the band never missed a lick. My GF had come with me to the gig that night by herself and her being alone in the crowd was like an invitation to the drunk douche-bags in the audience. On the way home that night I told her either she came with her girlfriends from then on or she stayed home. She did NOT like the ultimatum but did what I asked and it was never an issue again.

[themacinator]

My wife of 10+ years came to a recent gig and maybe this sounds bad but I only noticed her twice. The first time was when she was groovin' as we played the intro the Led Zeppelin's "Moby Dick" and the second was when she was with all the other people going crazy during Rage's - "Killing in the Name Of".

Other than that she had a great time and I trust her to handle any DB's that tried to hit on her.

[powmetalbassist]

I find the best solution to this problem is play with other bands your G/Wife knows. or have some of our guy friends in the crowd. If I'm busy on stage and a guy is a problem, she can handle it herself. If it does become a problem I've usually got some good guys in the crowd or the other bands keeping an eye out, problems get solved very quickly and duochebags learn quickly to **** off.

[agreatheight]

I leave my wife home.

[carlthegroover]

Originally Posted by dave64o

Do you really think I should swear?

Absolutely George, you should definitely swear!

Awesome, man! That's what came to my mind the minute I read the thread title. BTTF forever!