hilarious but terrible

bassflyer19 · #1 12-27-2008, 10:44 PM

so i sent the lead guitarist an email, askin him if he could do practice monday. the responce i got back is terrible on so many levels, but i couldnt keep myself from rollin around laughin. his responce went kinda like this:

"hey, i stabbed myself in the hand. i was gonna call you and tell you, but ive been in the ER."

when i asked him how he did it, the answer was yet again priceless.

"i was opening a flashlight with a pocketknife, and it slipped and i cut my hand open. it kinda hurt"

luckily its his pickin hand, so its not to bad. the doctor said it should be fine in 7-9 days. right in time to get back in school and not have time to practice. at least our rhythm guitarist doesnt have to go on lead. he thinks that he is much better than he really is. hes good, but he thinks that hes Slash good.

i love it when people seem to lack common sense.

thumpbass1 · #2 12-28-2008, 08:26 AM

I had a guitar playing friend put a knife completely through his hand when he was trying to unstick a caramel apple from a plate. Owwwwie! Fortunately he missed any tendons and such, but he was gimped up for about two weeks.

easyvision · #3 12-28-2008, 08:48 AM

Haha that is hilarious. Hope he's ok though.

Can't say I've ever had a bandmate injure themselves like that. I used to work in a kitchen though. Yeah one time I put a plate with a lil pie on it in a ridiculously overpowered toaster oven for a couple minutes. Went to take it out with one hand wrapped up in a towel. I couldn't grab it so I tapped it with my left hand, aiming to move it onto my right, towel covered hand. My fingers were literally only on the plate for 1 second. 2 huge blisters formed right away.

I could barely play for about a month. The things were huge. Each of them stuck out from my finger about 1/4 of an inch.

Not one of my most proud moments...

**SamanthaCay** · #4 12-28-2008, 08:49 AM

i knew a guitar player that was working in a luthier shop with me. he desided he was going to drill out the hole in the middle of a razor blade to make it bigger. he used his thumb as a vice and of course when the drill bit caught the blade it spun around and removed his thumb print. same shop different guitarist this guy was trying to demonstrate something to us with a 6000 rpm table router. he failed to lock the router into the table after adjusting. he got through about 30 seconds of routing and the router fell, hit the floor, shot about 20 feet into the air, put a dent in the ceiling and landed on the ground. there where eight of us standing all around and I feel very lucky to be alive.

Mike151 · #5 12-28-2008, 08:54 AM

I had a really good drummer that decided to take a job out on an oil rig in the gulf of mexico. I missed not having such a talented musician to jam with. Anyway, I hear that he had an accident and burned his hand so they had to fly him back to texas in a helicopter. Once back, I heard the true story from him. The oil rig guys were big and mean and he was a lowly kitchen prep helper. He intentionally put his hand in a hot pot of water so he could be rescued from his 8 week tour on the rig. We were jamming again soon even with his burned hand.

Paulie Jay · #6 12-28-2008, 01:13 PM

Not quite in the same scale, I once managed to slice my finger open with a knife about two hours before a gig. Of course, it was my fretting hand, and the slice went right across the face of the middle finger in the exact spot and direction that the finger contacts the string. Even with a couple of well placed bandaids it was tough going - thankfully only a one set gig.

bassflyer19 · #7 12-28-2008, 01:14 PM

wow. the worst that ive had was i was playin paint ball with john, the guy that stabbed himself in the hand, about a year ago. i was behind a tree and took a great shoot and put two shoots right through the grill of johns mask and made his mouth bleed. then his freind dustin riddled me and hit me in my knuckle of my frettin hand a few times. broke the skin pretty bad and it swole up to where it was really hard to play bass and it hurt to play. but im stubborn and still played bass anyways.

**IvanMike** · #8 12-29-2008, 09:22 AM

that's great! injuries like that are always funny when they aren't serious and they happen to someone else.

years ago my band had a gig. we were still young (well early 20's) and popular. about 4 hours before the gig i get a call. one of the guitar players decided he was a bmx star in the making. he rode his bike up a makeshift cinderblock and 2x4 ramp and promptly fractured his collarbone. No gig, and years of being able to break his stones about that.

scottbass · #9 12-29-2008, 09:45 AM

Not musician-related, but...

When we were in junior high, the shop teacher was demonstrating the correct, safe way to use a table saw. Then he said "Don't do it this way" and began to demonstrate the WRONG way to use the table saw.

His hand slipped and he completely severed his index finger in front of the entire class!

WOW!

We all learned something important that day! TRUE STORY!

agreatheight · #10 12-29-2008, 09:48 AM

The guitarist in my present band literally broke his ass ATVing. Grown man of 35. Very funny stuff!

Blonde Bassist · #11 12-29-2008, 09:54 AM

I did manage to cut the tip of my index finger off in a kitchen related accident a few years ago, was rather inconvinient considering it was my right hand, and I play right handed. Worst thing was I was supposed to be preparing for a performance exam the next week, it's pretty hard trying to play teen town with a bandage round your index finger, and trying to play with your middle and ringer fingers, when you're not used to it.

SpamBot · #12 12-29-2008, 10:02 AM

I gave myself a similar injury, but fortunately it was in the pad of my big toe. Didn't affect bass playing too much!

nathanmcnathan · #13 12-29-2008, 10:21 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SpamBot

I gave myself a similar injury, but fortunately it was in the pad of my big toe. Didn't affect bass playing too much!

You mean you don't play with your toes?

jazzbo58 · #14 12-29-2008, 10:22 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Blonde Bassist

I did manage to cut the tip of my index finger off in a kitchen related accident.

I managed to do the same thing to my left index finger. I had to changed the way I fretted with that finger.

Cheers,
Jim

bassflyer19 · #15 12-29-2008, 11:58 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by scottbass

Not musician-related, but...

When we were in junior high, the shop teacher was demonstrating the correct, safe way to use a table saw. Then he said "Don't do it this way" and began to demonstrate the WRONG way to use the table saw.

His hand slipped and he completely severed his index finger in front of the entire class!

WOW!

We all learned something important that day! TRUE STORY!

all i could picture when i read that was Emo Phillips in Weird Al's movie, where he cuts about 3 fingers off and has blood spraying everywhere.

Joel S. · #16 12-29-2008, 12:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by easyvision

Haha that is hilarious. Hope he's ok though.

Can't say I've ever had a bandmate injure themselves like that. I used to work in a kitchen though. Yeah one time I put a plate with a lil pie on it in a ridiculously overpowered toaster oven for a couple minutes. Went to take it out with one hand wrapped up in a towel. I couldn't grab it so I tapped it with my left hand, aiming to move it onto my right, towel covered hand. My fingers were literally only on the plate for 1 second. 2 huge blisters formed right away.

I could barely play for about a month. The things were huge. Each of them stuck out from my finger about 1/4 of an inch.

Not one of my most proud moments...

I burned my hand by grabbing the iron beaker ring that was over a bunson burner for about 15 mins. Ouch...

I've gotten a few injuries where I've been doing something, thought to myself "this will probably end badly... why am I doing this? Oh well, I'll just keep doing it" only to stab/burn myself, or punch a sharp metal corner, fall over, etc.

EBBassMan · #17 12-29-2008, 12:28 PM

I sliced the tip of my left thumb off separating frozen hamburgers. Didn't affect my bass playing too much, but I only have half a fingerprint on that thumb now lol.

easyvision · #18 12-29-2008, 12:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Blonde Bassist

I did manage to cut the tip of my index finger off in a kitchen related accident a few years ago, was rather inconvinient considering it was my right hand, and I play right handed.

Haha "Tis but a scratch!"

Gramtron · #19 12-29-2008, 01:43 PM

Back when i washed dishes at a chinese resturant, one of the cooks put a cleaver in the silverware tub, and i reached in to grab some silverware and cut right along one the joints of my fretting hand index finger. it was so deep i didn't know about it till the water was red. and that was in the first 5 minutes of my shift.....

TheGrizz · #20 12-29-2008, 08:46 PM

Hand injuries suck. I burned the living heck out of my hand with hot vegetable oil about 2 weeks ago. The power went out while my parents were frying on the stove...well they never turned they stove off. Flash forward to 4am when I wake up to a house full of smoke. The pot was in flames on the stove and we had no baking soda. I grabbed a pot holder and tried to get the flaming pot outside. I got it outside before I slipped up and spilled it on my hand. I kept holding onto it because if I dropped it I would have burned my bare feet and legs. I dropped it where I though it was safe and ended up burning my legs and feet pretty badly. But I have 2nd degree burns over 1/3 of my hand. The oil was so hot it actually split my skin. I've never been in so much pain in my entire life. It's getting better now, but I played a gig the next weekend with a bandaged hand without the use of my thumb and index

I just got my bandages off today, it's nice being able to play again