I could be angry, right?

pklima · #1 12-19-2011, 11:17 AM

Christmas party at my job tomorrow. One of my bands played there last year, got a great reception, we're doing it again tomorrow.

So, after 6PM today (local time) one of the singers tells me she just found out she's got some university lecture that she has to be there and sign attendance at the end. This lecture ends at the same time our set is supposed to, and she says she can't skip it or she will not be given credit for the course and will fail the semester, so the money she'd get paid is not worth skipping this. She asks if we can swap timeslots with one of the other bands. Well, no, not the evening before the party - we're playing first because one has a drummer who's coming from another city after work and the other has a singer who will be doing something else at 8 PM. We're only supposed to play a 45 minute set anyway, so that's no big deal - we can do that with just the other singer.

So I ask our second singer if she'd rather do this alone or if she wants me to try to get a sub. She says she'd rather have a sub, I call up the singer from another band who did some guest vocals with us two days ago, we agree on a revised setlist, I even help them coordinate what they're going to be wearing. I ask our second singer what time she can be at the club, she says she can't really give me a specific time because she plans to hitchike the roughly 300 km to get here, but should be in town a few hours before they open. Yeah, OK. I'll see if I can talk her into taking a train instead. They're paying us enough that she can afford it.

Did I mention my bosses will be in the audience?

Why was I only angry for about 30 seconds, and never nervous?

What are the odds that the first singer made the whole thing up and just doesn't want to be in the band anymore?

Jinro · #2 12-19-2011, 11:56 AM

Quote:

What are the odds that the first singer made the whole thing up and just doesn't want to be in the band anymore?

Low. I've had classes like hers. Music Appreciation being one of them; if I didn't go to 3 pre-approved musical performances and sign attendance, I would not have passed the course.

There is this thing called "life" outside of a band, and it is usually a priority over the band, as it should be.

bassgod0dmw · #3 12-19-2011, 01:07 PM

Agreed. If what she is saying is legit, she's got a perfectly good reason to skip out. It sucks, don't get me wrong, but you can't fault her for it. Unless she knew about it weeks ago (as she should have) and didn't say a word about it.

I think your 2nd singer should step up and do the gig without a sub.

Febs · #4 12-19-2011, 01:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bassgod0dmw

Agreed. If what she is saying is legit, she's got a perfectly good reason to skip out.

A good reason to miss the gig, yes. A good reason to let the bandleader know the night before the gig? Not so much.

M0ses · #5 12-19-2011, 01:14 PM

What the heck is up with this hitchiking crap? Why does your singer live 300km away?

Baron Von Vik · #6 12-19-2011, 01:21 PM

No one's batting an eye at the thought of the young lady hitchhiking? Like maybe that's not super-duper safe, maybe? Especially that far? No?

Must be nice in Poland.

pklima · #7 12-19-2011, 01:25 PM

Both singers started college this fall. One moved to another city to study sculpture, but is here every other weekend. And the other probably was planning to skip tomorrow's lecture to do the gig, but really did find out this evening it's more important than she realized. I don't really think she made the whole thing up... I'd say there's only about a 10% chance she did.

The hitchiking is just the cherry on top of the cake, haha. She's done a lot of it around Western Europe and Scandinavia, not sure how much domestically...

M0ses · #8 12-19-2011, 01:28 PM

I would have asked her to leave the group when she relocated. How can that situation possibly be practical?

the yeti · #9 12-19-2011, 01:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by M0ses

What the heck is up with this hitchiking crap? Why does your singer live 300km away?

shoot man, 300 km is only like 5 miles or something...

the yeti · #10 12-19-2011, 01:31 PM

also, you guy's schools aren't on break right now? why doesn't everyone do things like america?!??

ksandvik · #11 12-19-2011, 01:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by pklima

The hitchiking is just the cherry on top of the cake, haha. She's done a lot of it around Western Europe and Scandinavia, not sure how much domestically...

It's very good to know that she's still alive but please tell her to stop doing that, for her own sake.

bassgod0dmw · #12 12-19-2011, 01:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Febs

A good reason to miss the gig, yes. A good reason to let the bandleader know the night before the gig? Not so much.

I agree completely. I don't think I'd be too happy. If she did just find out about it, there really isn't much she could have done.

PastorofMuppets · #13 12-19-2011, 01:38 PM

College classes are expensive
and would not be worth failing for a gig.

Munjibunga · #14 12-19-2011, 01:48 PM

Cripe. That'd be like hitch hiking from Ventura to San Diego for a gig.

agent77 · #15 12-19-2011, 11:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by the yeti

shoot man, 300 km is only like 5 miles or something...

No.....that's like 186 miles.

Lee H · #16 12-19-2011, 11:07 PM

wait...singer, hitchhiking?

are you sure that person is a singer and not a bassist?

pklima · #17 12-20-2011, 12:36 AM

Heh. Let's see who else tells me today they can't make the gig. As long as the sub singer is there she can borrow a guitar from one of the other bands and we'll do Shakira songs for 45 minutes...

the yeti · #18 12-20-2011, 07:09 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by agent77

No.....that's like 186 miles.

yeah, it was a joke...

Nev375 · #19 12-20-2011, 07:20 AM

Perhaps hitchiking is a perfectly socially acceptable and relatively safe form of travel there. Different cultures ya know.

Not every country has a culture of paranoia and violence toward their fellow man like America.

Greyfin10 · #20 12-20-2011, 07:39 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nev375

Not every country has a culture of paranoia and violence toward their fellow man like America.

While I agree with the caution to not assume all cultures are the same (always valuable advice), I'd say the subtext of judgement in the way you stated it suggests you aren't being as un-biased as you'd like to be.

My culture isn't exactly as I would like it to be, and I welcome the lessons that come from seeing how people do things elsewhere. I even understand the frustration people feel when they think they see a better way that isn't being taken. But if you are truly interested in improving things, a more considered use of tone would be useful to you.