I hope this isn't a sign of things to come.

[clutebass]

So in the last week I have experienced the weirdest, most genuinely disgusting turn of events and I can't help but assume this is the beginning of the downfall of the one thing that has actually been concrete in my life for the last six months or so: my original band. If it's not meant to be, I can live with the band falling apart. But if that is the ultimate outcome, it could have easily been avoided if people had any sense of decency. It disgusts me that society can be so selfish and ignorant to how civilized people are supposed to live.

Now then...

The Details:
In the last week the following has occurred. The girl I have been "seeing" for the past six months (nothing official, so I can't blame her for moving on, but it's the principle that gets to me) is now sleeping with our roadie/essentially 5th member of the band. The guy is one of my best friends and I would consider him part of the band even though he doesn't actually play in the band. I briefly voiced my opinion on the fact that I didn't care but going for another member of the band was a pretty low blow, which caused the girl to lose her mind and make up elaborate lies which ultimately resulted in the destruction of our friendship, her begging me to forgive her and then her running right back to the other guy after swearing she was wrong for doing what she did. In the mean time, said roadie, who is dealing with splitting up from his girlfriend of 6 years and has a child and another on the way, is being totally led on (so we both initially thought) and was contemplating suicide. Well now the girl won't as much as communicate with me and they are back at it. So much for her claim of not having feelings for him! At least it isn't my problem any more. All the while this is going on, my brother, our drummer, breaks up with the girl he is living with for the one he was cheating on her with, and his ex proceeds to start fooling around with our lead singer! I am so mentally exhausted from the drama. I am 24 years old, have a steady full time job and thought I graduated high school 6 years ago. Apparently not!!

This story is too good to be true, I know, but feel free to share similar stories if you got them. I can't help but sit back and just go WTH!? I sure hope this doesn't destroy the band... I feel sick to my stomach.

[chokeslam512]

No condescension intended here but none of this is your fault. Your GF wronged you but I think you owe it to your friend (the one contemplating suicide) to convince him to seek professional help. Having dealt with people close to me thinking about suicide, it is not easy to deal with but definitely out of my realm of expertise, thus the professional help.
Your girlfriend (ex, by now, I assume) has already made it clear that she's not going to be around in the future but if the guy is one of your best friends, odds are, he will be.

Good luck, brother.

[Muttleybass]

Bros before hoes, man. It sux that your bud destroyed your relationship of 6 months, but it sounds like he's not in a very good place right now. 6 months isn't really that long, and it probably would have ended anyway. Sorry if you didn't want to hear that. Hopefully you can forgive your bud and move on.

My story:

Keep in mind these are 40 year old adults that have been married for 20 years.

The drummer is and has been a really good friend of mine. Back in about 1998, we decided to try and join a band together as a rhythm section. We connected with this guitar player and female singer.

After about 2 jams, we figured that the guy was just too wierd and controlling, so we bailed. However, the guy phoned each of us up and talked to us individually for about 2 hours, talking about how great we were and how he really wanted us to be in the band. The drummer and I talked it over and decided to go back under certain conditions.

All was going pretty well for over a year. We were putting together and album that he'd recorded in his bedroom, we were getting gigs, and it seemed like all was well.

Suddenly the guitar player started showing up an hour late for practice. Then two hours. We wrote it off as part of his eccentricity, but we were starting to get really choked. We had gigs booked. We kept talking to him, but he always managed to weasel his way out of it.

Then, after a particularly successful gig, we started to pack up. The guitar player was no where to be found and we were getting pretty angry at having to load up ourselves. Finally we checked the parking lot and saw his car bouncing up and down in the parking lot. He was screwing the drummer's wife.

It turns out the reason he was late for practice was that he'd know exactly where the drummer would be, so he'd head to the drummer's house, bone his wife, then show up an hour or two late.

Of course, the band immediately exploded. The drummer is now divorced and has custody of their 3 kids (yep! At the time, 2, 5 and 9), and his ex is married to the guitar player.

There's a lot more to the story. The guy had an internet business and convinced us to all go with him, so he was reading our emails. The guy would phone up the drummer and take him out to the bars pretending to be his best friend. Wife wanted a weekend getaway "with the girls" and, after the incident, the drummer found the jerk's license plate on the hotel slip... The guy was just evil.

[clutebass]

Geeze! That's crazy. Yeah I expressed immediately that if I was going to be forced to choose, and I was, that my friend came first. I am not really all that upset over the girl. I think what bothers me the most is that I have a lot invested in this band. I write most of the material, handle all the business and booking and run the websites and promotion while the rest of the band are forming crazy love triangles haha. I feel a bit hopeless currently.

[Russell L]

This life isn't the dress rehearsal.

Time for a fresh start---away from all that, IMO. Brother included. I said long ago that I don't wanna live with any more drama and unnecessary emotional pain. Time to be happy in this ONE life.

[M0ses]

Wow! What a soap opera. They should all be ashamed of themselves. Until I got to the part about people fooling with your lead singer I was like, "What does it have to do with the band?"

But dude, just get out. Those kind of people don't change, and they're not the kind reasonable folks like yourself want to be around.

[RustyAxe]

I fail to see either bass content or humor. ***? Put this in the "Off Topic" folder with all the other "Dear Abby" posts.

[clutebass]

How would one go about leaving the band he started? I don't want to stop playing with these guys. On stage we click so well. Musically there is zero tension or arguing. Its the behind the scene things and my conscience that are nagging me. I think things will be ok, but the fact that all this happened at the same time just made for an epic story I had to share.

[UncleJimmy]

These are the days of our lives.......

Not making light of the situation, just trying to inject some much needed levity.

Add Heather Locklear and you've got a quality show

[80'sRocker]

Rule #1: Girlfriends/wifes and bands never ever mix well! Yikes! no yokos

[jschwalls]

Women possess the #1 commodity that has ever existed...

Wars have been fought over it, Empires have fallen because of it. This single commodity is bought, sold, bartered and exchanged and when you get down to the fact, it only has such value because man has given it such extreme value.

If any dude is willing to destroy a friendship because of the possible short-term possession of this commodity, then said friend should not be considered a friend at all. He then falls on the other side of the battle.

Heck, even women will admit that they are evil and most are proud of it.

My point to all this.. Bros before Hoes !

( In a perfect world where men act like actual men, this would be possible )

[DBCrocky]

Call these guys: Cheaters.

Joey Greco could make some good TV out of this.

[Thor]

Originally Posted by clutebass

So in the last week I have experienced the weirdest, most genuinely disgusting turn of events and I can't help but assume this is the beginning of the downfall of the one thing that has actually been concrete in my life for the last six months or so: my original band. If it's not meant to be, I can live with the band falling apart. But if that is the ultimate outcome, it could have easily been avoided if people had any sense of decency. It disgusts me that society can be so selfish and ignorant to how civilized people are supposed to live.

Now then...

The Details:
In the last week the following has occurred. The girl I have been "seeing" for the past six months (nothing official, so I can't blame her for moving on, but it's the principle that gets to me) is now sleeping with our roadie/essentially 5th member of the band. The guy is one of my best friends and I would consider him part of the band even though he doesn't actually play in the band. I briefly voiced my opinion on the fact that I didn't care but going for another member of the band was a pretty low blow, which caused the girl to lose her mind and make up elaborate lies which ultimately resulted in the destruction of our friendship, her begging me to forgive her and then her running right back to the other guy after swearing she was wrong for doing what she did. In the mean time, said roadie, who is dealing with splitting up from his girlfriend of 6 years and has a child and another on the way, is being totally led on (so we both initially thought) and was contemplating suicide. Well now the girl won't as much as communicate with me and they are back at it. So much for her claim of not having feelings for him! At least it isn't my problem any more. All the while this is going on, my brother, our drummer, breaks up with the girl he is living with for the one he was cheating on her with, and his ex proceeds to start fooling around with our lead singer! I am so mentally exhausted from the drama. I am 24 years old, have a steady full time job and thought I graduated high school 6 years ago. Apparently not!!

This story is too good to be true, I know, but feel free to share similar stories if you got them. I can't help but sit back and just go WTH!? I sure hope this doesn't destroy the band... I feel sick to my stomach.

Have you considered joining a blues band?

[Thor]

Originally Posted by RustyAxe

I fail to see either bass content or humor. ***? Put this in the "Off Topic" folder with all the other "Dear Abby" posts.

Aw, give it a chance to get some legs. There is always MISC, Band Management and Lobby - The boneyard.

[JMac4strngr]

Whoa, I was waiting on someone to go into a coma/die in plane crash and then a separated at birth twin brother/sister to show up to have an affair with the other guy's Mom.

If I was You......I'd move on to find some bandmates, friends, romantic involvements with a lot less drama.

[funkyebk]

Time to write your "Layla".

[the yeti]

Originally Posted by clutebass

How would one go about leaving the band he started? I don't want to stop playing with these guys. On stage we click so well. Musically there is zero tension or arguing. Its the behind the scene things and my conscience that are nagging me. I think things will be ok, but the fact that all this happened at the same time just made for an epic story I had to share.

fire everyone and hire new people.

[Waffles and Scotch]

Originally Posted by the yeti

fire everyone and hire new people.

I agree. If you started it and you run it, find new members.

[funkyebk]

Originally Posted by funkyebk

Time to write your "Layla".

Except you'd be George Harrison... who handled the whole situation with some measure of either a) class or b) whatever, guvn'r I've got plenty more where that came from...

In 1966 George Harrison married Pattie Boyd, a model he met during the filming of A Hard Day's Night. During the late 1960s, Clapton and Harrison became close friends. Clapton contributed uncredited guitar work on Harrison's song "While My Guitar Gently Weeps" on The Beatles' White Album, and Harrison co-wrote and played guitar pseudonymously (as L'Angelo Misterioso) on Cream's "Badge" from Goodbye. However, trouble was brewing for Clapton. Between his tenures in Cream and Blind Faith, in his words, "something else quite unexpected was happening: I was falling in love with Pattie."[4][page needed]
The title, "Layla," was inspired by The Story of Layla / Layla and Majnun (ليلى و مجنون), by the 12th-century Persian poet Nizami Ganjavi of the Ganja (present day Azerbaijan) Seljuq empire.[5] It is based on the true story of a young man called Qays ibn al-Mulawwah (Arabic: قيس بن الملوح‎) from the northern Arabian Peninsula, in the Umayyad Caliphate during the 7th century. When he wrote "Layla," Clapton had been told the story by his friend Ian Dallas,[4] who was in the process of converting to Islam. Nizami's tale, about a moon princess who was married off by her father to someone other than the one who was desperately in love with her, resulting in Majnun's madness (A name, مجنون, which translates to "madman" in Arabic), struck a deep chord with Clapton.[6]
According to Boyd, Clapton played the song for her at a party, and later that same evening confessed to George that he was in love with his wife. The revelation caused no small upset among the three of them, but Pattie and George remained married for several more years, and Harrison and Clapton retained their close friendship with no apparent signs of damage.
Boyd divorced Harrison in 1974 and married Clapton in 1979 during a concert stop in Tucson, Arizona. Harrison was not bitter about the divorce and attended Clapton's wedding party with Ringo Starr and Paul McCartney. During their relationship, Clapton wrote another love ballad for Pattie called "Wonderful Tonight" (1977). Clapton and Boyd divorced in 1989 after several years of separation.

[dave64o]

What's the name of your band? Fleetwood Mac?!?!