I think I'm being stalked...

Sleeq · #1 04-12-2011, 04:30 AM

If that's the right term. I really need help guys.

There is this younger guy who met me at a gig. He was a beginner bassist and he liked what he saw at our performance. He was a metalhead, I'm a blues freak.

We started talking music, gear etc.

Over time, he started playing blues (and claiming he is a bluesman etc) and bought 3 Fender P-Basses (I have 3 P's). He started a blues band saying he is the first and original blues band in Kuwait, which is not true (it's my band).

He started wearing shades and hats at his gigs (which is what I've done all my life) ... he went on local newspaper interviews saying how blues influenced his life etc. He puts blues statuses on his FB which is what I do all the time.

He even started playing the same video games I do , which he posted on his FB profile every once in a while.

I'm not saying it's not flattering, I'm happy for him... I'm happy I influenced someone in someway, but this has become too much... everyone notices how he literally copied my style. He's not getting the point... what do I do?!

Bassistwsp · #2 04-12-2011, 04:33 AM

Have you tried talking about it to him?

spaz21387 · #3 04-12-2011, 04:35 AM

make a fake switch and see if he fallows too... like something awkward like carrying a small dog in a purse or something?

Sleeq · #4 04-12-2011, 04:38 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bassistwsp

Have you tried talking about it to him?

Like... "hey man... you're biting my style... I don't like it?"

I think it'll me look bad... what would be the right thing to say?

Sleeq · #5 04-12-2011, 04:39 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by spaz21387

make a fake switch and see if he fallows too... like something awkward like carrying a small dog in a purse or something?

nukes_da_bass · #6 04-12-2011, 04:49 AM

Get two Tshirts made..."Stalker" and "Original". Give him the "Stalker" shirt and offer to hang out at the mall with him, but on the condition that he wears his shirt every time you guys are together.

I was in a band 8 years ago that had a song named "Stalker". The frontman insisted he simply did a heavy metal reworking of The Police's song "Every Breath You Take" and made it more honest and gave it some edge.
Also, tell him hes the wrong gender to be stalking you. You prefer your stalkers to be female, 110 lbs or under, and with long legs and deep dark eyes.
If he then signs up for gender reassignment surgery, RUN!

NortyFiner · #7 04-12-2011, 05:54 AM

The only solution to a copycat poser is to call them out.

jlane72t · #8 04-12-2011, 06:54 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sleeq

Like... "hey man... you're biting my style... I don't like it?"

Yes, this.

**Mulebagger** · #9 04-12-2011, 06:58 AM

He's preparing to dispose of you and assume your identity

If you do have a relationship with him you should talk about it with him. If he is a true stalker though, let it ride and he will find someone else to stalk when he tires of you. Upsetting someone with a distorted sense of reality will not be good for you.

Maybe it's time for a style change for you. You may find it refreshing.

Chef FourString · #10 04-12-2011, 07:02 AM

Talk to him. Phone call at least. Don't be the dude that writes snidey sh#% on a face book wall. Your emotion in your voice will help him understand the point of the conversation. If you're not comfortable meeting face to face than make the phone call.

Conoreso · #11 04-12-2011, 07:16 AM

haha i guess it should be flattering

but make sure he doesnt do better do you , so you look like the stalker!! hahaha

NortyFiner · #12 04-12-2011, 07:20 AM

If you have any Italiano buddies, have one of them give the twerp a mob act about how "someone is very displeased" with him. Capice?

Bassdirty · #13 04-12-2011, 07:23 AM

Is he on Talkbass like you too?

if he's copying you, then most likely yes.

So...by now he may already know.

Also, I wonder, do you still hang out with him?If not, then wheres the problem?

T-MOST · #14 04-12-2011, 07:25 AM

Thats not stalking. He may be trying to hijack your persona but that isn't the same as stalking. When he starts showing up at every gig, following you around and standing outside your home 24/7 he will be stalking you.

stingray69 · #15 04-12-2011, 07:52 AM

If he starts telling you that he's your #1 fan, RUN.

Lol, j/k. Hopefully its just a case of imitation/flattery, but yeah - it would weird me out too a little bit. Doesn't sound like there's too much more he can copy off you at this point - maybe he'll just move on with his newly "adopted" style from here.

jgroh · #16 04-12-2011, 08:03 AM

Seems odd but it sounds like he is trying to copy a proven formula.

Clark Dark · #17 04-12-2011, 08:05 AM

"hey look everybody, it's mini me"

elwood1205 · #18 04-12-2011, 08:06 AM

They say imitation is the sincerest form of flattery. He obviously sees something in you he would like to emulate. If it makes you uncomfortable have a face to face with him and just let him know. Then see what happens.

If he starts calling you and yelling "I won't be ignored!" or kills your kids bunny, I'd step it up to DEFCON 1.

JMac4strngr · #19 04-12-2011, 08:11 AM

This fellow sounds like a drummer friend of mine I grew up with. After high school, we played in a couple of bands together, Yada yada. In our mid twenties the guy started becoming like my shadow (Same clothes, same glasses, hair-cut, etc). Dude even started trying to date ex-girlfriends of mine. I found it somewhat strange and creepy, and quit hanging out with Him. Over time He moved on to become someone else's disciple.
Give the guy some space and time, and He'll move on to find someone else to follow. Folks like this exist, and I dont think they mean any harm in it. They obviously have identity issues, as they have no identity of their own and seek out other people to inspire them.

scottbass · #20 04-12-2011, 08:29 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JMac4strngr

Give the guy some space and time, and He'll move on to find someone else to follow. Folks like this exist, and I dont think they mean any harm in it. They obviously have identity issues, as they have no identity of their own and seek out other people to inspire them.

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