If you tried to 'make it' and failed, are you sorry?

[Booboobass]

In my first few bands sucked. They were always "my" bands. I did EVERYTHING! They were mostly cover bands, and we couldn't draw flys. It was when I answered an ad and shut my mouth and played bass did I start to see my goals start to happen. Within a year and a half we were local big shots. We were lucky and had a free lawyer to look out for us. We went as far as we could, topping the list with major label show-cases. Needless to say, the phone never rang and eventually, we threw in the towel. the bands I joined afterwards never had that kind of success . Oh well.
Then one day I was going down memory lane with a friend and he said something that stuck with me. It was along the lines of it being stupid to compare my career with the career of million selling rock star types. The odds of being that successful are bigger then the lotto. And he then asked me if I had fun.....HELL YEAH! It started by playing the places my heroes played, opening at first then headlining. Recording in real studios with money the band earned, scoring a deal on a small indie label and releasing it on cassette, C D, and ( my fave) records (45's & albums!) Playing out of town and opening for major label acts. Signing autographs. Did I mention the female attention! The list goes on. I had a blast! I had forgotten what it was like to play little bar,opening for 3 other crappy bands for no money on a Tuesday night in front of the bartender and bouncers. And forgetting how exited I was to get that Tuesday night in a crappy little bar.
So I guess what he was trying to say was as long as your happy you are successful. And I say let go of the wheel and see where life takes you. You might have fun, I know I did!

[Bard2dbone]

Originally Posted by Bard2dbone

I was in a band that did well on the local level back in the late '80's-early '90's. We never quite got past the whole 'speculating about giving you a contract' level. We had a good following for a while and then suddenly didn't.

In the space of six months we went from playing for a crowd of three thousand, to playing for a crowd named Ted. And Ted was a nice guy and all, but I made forty cents that night. And I had to drive to Oklahoma to do it. Our last gig was only a couple of months later.

So yeah. I'm bitter sometimes. But mostly only when I hear someone on the radio that we were worlds better than. Or when I hear someone being hailed as a singer who obviously uses big old piles of autotune.

When I'm not being shown that talent doesn't matter at all anymore, I can be positive about it. We got to play some awesome shows. I've got great memories, a FEW stories (ahem), and a perspective that not too many people have. It was a great thing while it lasted. And it's still a good thing to have done. As long as I can look at it that way, I'm ahead of the game.

I know that quoting myself is lame. But I wanted to use it as evidence of how my attitude varies depending on the day.

Originally Posted by Booboobass

(snip)Then one day I was going down memory lane with a friend and he said something that stuck with me. It was along the lines of it being stupid to compare my career with the career of million selling rock star types. The odds of being that successful are bigger then the lotto. And he then asked me if I had fun.....HELL YEAH! It started by playing the places my heroes played, opening at first then headlining. Recording in real studios with money the band earned, scoring a deal on a small indie label and releasing it on cassette, C D, and ( my fave) records (45's & albums!) Playing out of town and opening for major label acts. Signing autographs. Did I mention the female attention! The list goes on. I had a blast! I had forgotten what it was like to play little bar,opening for 3 other crappy bands for no money on a Tuesday night in front of the bartender and bouncers. And forgetting how exited I was to get that Monday night in a crappy little bar.
So I guess what he was trying to say was as long as your happy you are successful. And I say let go of the wheel and see where life takes you. You might have fun, I know I did!

This is the part that stuck with me today. I remember how tragic some of our last gigs were, after having sold out those same clubs weeks earlier. But I usually forget how thrilled we would have been to even be playing those clubs with that level of turnout three or four years earlier.

For the couple of years that people thought we were going to be big stars, I got to date way above my real level. I miss that. I got to jam with people I still hear on the radio. One is with Polyphonic Spree. One was with Smashmouth. Another toured with Seal. Having known some of those guys actually impressed my kids. That's a tougher trick than it sounds like to all you childless guys. Impressing my wife when we took a trip to New Orleans, found a club that sounded good from the sidewalk, went inside to rest, got recognized by the frontman of the band, who I'd worked with ten or twelve years earlier and getting up to sit in on Superstition was awesome.

If I rememeber to focus on the up side it was a great experience. It's just easier to focus on the fact that it didn't end the way I hoped it would.

[thunderstation]

actually- i'm rather glad. I am now 60 years old and in a band with other "failed" musicians doing originals. Everyone is very respectfull of the others talent & ideas, we play for ourselves, record it & give it out to friends. These guys have turned into some very good friends and a great source to introduce new songs to ( I am one of the writers) because they take the song seriously and play their best. I am extremely lucky to be in this particular band with these particular guys- we have a great time...and talk about calling each other on b.s. , keeps us all honest.

[lfmn16]

I'd like to clarify my original question, based on some of the responses. First, "make it" is whatever you define it as. It will likely be different for all of us. Second "failed" just means you didn't "make it." I don't mean to imply that people who don't make it are failures. I think that the failure is in not trying to achieve your dream, whatever that dream may be, not restricted to music.

Just my opinion, but I think if you are happy, you made it. Also just my opinion, but I think that chasing your dream is always worthwhile. I've failed at a lot of things over the years, but my greatest failures are the times I played it safe.

I love this Vince Lombardi quote:

"It is a reality of life that men are competitive and the most competitive games draw the most competitive men. That's why they are there - to compete. To know the rules and objectives when they get in the game. The object is to win fairly, squarely, by the rules - but to win.

And in truth, I've never known a man worth his salt who in the long run, deep down in his heart, didn't appreciate the grind, the discipline. There is something in good men that really yearns for discipline and the harsh reality of head to head combat.

I don't say these things because I believe in the "brute" nature of man or that men must be brutalized to be combative. I believe in God, and I believe in human decency. But I firmly believe that any man's finest hour, the greatest fulfillment of all that he holds dear, is that moment when he has worked his heart out in a good cause and lies exhausted on the field of battle - victorious."
~Vince Lombardi

[Gazebo]

Making it! Nowhere near for me, but really I have made it now.

Technology has moved to an extent where I can make music and record it at home and stick it on the net for the people who want to hear it (a dismally small group!). But that was what I have always wanted.

Fame etc would have been nice, but the music is the thing, isn't it?

And even now I find riffs and tricks that are new and invigorate my playing, and I'm 50 this week.

I realised a long time ago that music as a hobby is a great thing, but if it was a job would just be stress, and I'd start doing something like golf to get away from it.

[brotherbassj]

"making it for me"-meant recording and touring and being able to support my family in the process.

I failed at it by this definition.....

I got signed by an independent label on a two year contract. I am on two albums that have regional distribution and are on itunes. I was endorsed by a couple major brands and a few regional bands as well as two different clothing lines. Had 2 production videos. I opened for no less than 7 major internationally touring acts at NICE sized venues, band got comissioned to go on 10 week tour nationally(with famous band).......and I had to leave due to job and family responsibilities after being 5 total years invested in the group from the founding stage up. Regrets.....some. Glad I did it......yes.

Band is still trying to make it.........they have made major strides recently. Its stings a little. Am I listed as the original co-founder of the band anywhere? NO

Im glad I had the experience, am a bit jaded from it, but glad I had the opportunity. Not everyone gets to enjoy themselves to maximum stardom level but I would not trade my experiences......

[mward69]

I tried back in the late 80's/90's Typical thing of trying to give demo to a "made band" and hoping they would call...lol Or, some A&R guy will find us in a club and "sign" us..looking back we never put in any REAL leg work, didn't know crap about the ind.
Hvae a few former band-mates that are doing well....Seven Dust being one.

[podiumboy]

My band lasted from 2000-2009, my age was 18-27 in that time. We began as an originals only band, and by about 2002-2004 we were hitting the Ohio State college scene pretty hard and weren't doing too bad. We recorded a 9 song album at a semi-professional studio, and sold it at gigs, online, etc. We had a few songs getting play on a few local radio stations that would dedicate a certain amount of air time to local bands. If there was ever a time where we could have "made it", it would've been back then, to stay on that road.

Then our drummer quit to go to college in Nashville in spring 2004. We tried a few replacement drummers, but nobody really filled the void or fit in. The band laid dormant for about 2 years after that. Drummer came back from Nashville, and we started playing and writing songs together again. We actually wrote one song in 2006 that I'm certain could've been a huge hit, had the right people heard it.

But even by that time it was over. In those 2 years our connections in the college scene had all graduated and moved away from Columbus. Some of us got "real jobs", and the drummer brought a controlling girlfriend back with him from Nashville, who really controlled the whole band as a result. We'd occasionally do a gig, but I was finding that I was having more success playing at an open mic every wednesday at a local bar.

Then came our legendary 2009 Thanksgiving Eve performance. Legendary because even though we played well and the crowd seemed to enjoy it, there was a general feeling in the band that we just didn't like doing it anymore. So, we never played together again. Had our drummer stayed in Ohio instead of going to Nashville, we might have eventually became something of note. Who knows? I think we had the songs, and the stage presence, etc. But it never happened, and my life has turned out good anyway, despite not "making it".

[Ric5]

If you tried to 'make it' and failed, are you sorry?

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Nope ... not at all ...

[Wadge]

I had one shot at making when I was called in to form an all star line up of musicians in my country. We were making some incredible music at the time, rehearsing 5 times a week for 5 hour sessions and Sony actually paid for two demos.

At the time I was a law student at University and at one point it was made know to me that I might have to drop out of University when the tour dates became known. As it turned out the band imploded after two years owing to alcohol abuse and mood swings of the singer.

Nowadays I am a legal professional and yet I am playing upwards of 70 gigs/shows a year. I also have a stable family life and a child (with another on the way).

I really love my life right now so I cannot regret something which might have been. Besides, I've always been more interested in being a great musician more than a great rock star. The one thing I regret is not practicing more at my instrument in the times when I was single and without a family to dedicate the lion's share of my time to.

[Die4Art]

Failed at what? Becoming rich playing music or becoming a good musician?

[Itzayana]

To me "failed" means that you quit trying.
As long as you keep trying you are in the hunt and haven't yet "failed".
Quitters never win, winners never quit.

[lfmn16]

Originally Posted by Die4Art

Failed at what? Becoming rich playing music or becoming a good musician?

As previously stated, define it how you would like. In the context of this thread I meant Recording, Playing Arenas, not having to work a regular job, etc. It had nothing to do with being a good musician.

[lfmn16]

Originally Posted by Itzayana

To me "failed" means that you quit trying.
As long as you keep trying you are in the hunt and haven't yet "failed".
Quitters never win, winners never quit.

The older I get more I realize how wrong that statement is. Nobody wins at everything. Sometimes it's better to admit that you can't accomplish something and concentrate on the things you can be successful at. I was a terrible insurance salesman, but I'm a very successful program manager. Am I a quitter because I recognized that I was trying to do something I wasn't suited for?

[Mike11121]

Good topic OP!

I guess it depends on definition.

If "making it" means touring, getting a recording deal and product with your name on it out there in the public (which used to be the definition, but I'm not so sure now), then I guess I made it. If it means doing that as your sole income and not starving, then I suppose I did that too - for a few years.

But I was never what you would call a household name or in any way famous, nor did I ever come close to living a pampered rock-star lifestyle.

But, like so many here, I've got a head-full of memories that are probably MUCH more interesting than my accountant friends, I met my wife at a show (who also wanted nothing to do with musicians initially - there's a pattern here), and my kids (who now play in their own band) think I'm a whole lot more entertaining than their friends' parents and are now learning my old songs to play in their set.

So, am I sorry? Not a chance! If I could change anything it would only be very minor. I can remember what it was like to play to a couple of thousand people who were into our music, and that's worth a whole lot I think. You gotta live it while you have a chance - there's way too many people out there who die wondering.

[kevibass]

i knew i had to play the bass at about 11 years old. i was in the car with my mom and a commercial came on about musical instruments, i heard the bass line part and told my mom i want to play that... the bass. thus it began. i played in college with a guy who made it pretty big...tonight show, SNL etc.. i thought it was/is very cool.
have a few friends that still make a living from playing, but... it is a job.
they are always looking ahead and lining up the next gig, using connections, ya know.
we are in our early 50's, so they are getting arthritis in their hands from all the years of playing. BUT, they do love the job.
Me, i don't think i really tried so hard to "make it". i'm a good sideman/bassist, not a good song writer, i gig with hometown bands, good musicians and love it, nice home great lady...i'm healthy and happy....hey Ma! i made it!

[knumbskull]

i sort of regret not trying harder.

then again, some of my friends DID try and it messed them up in ways that are still causing problems for them.