Instrument store nightmares.....

[frankenjazz]

.....with a twist. I know there is always stuff on here about (blank) store doing this and that but lets hear the other side of the coin. If you sell/sold instruments I wanna hear YOUR customer nightmares. I have a couple but I will start with my favorite.


It was the November of 2005 and this young yuppie couple walks in wanting a guitar for their 5 year old daughter whom they keep telling me is a musical prodigy and only the best for their reincarnated Mozart, I ask them how long she's been playing (I was honestly curious, because I know parents all tend to think their kids are special but the things they were saying made me assume their daughter actually played i.e "the things she does musically Ive never heard done before" ect ec ect.)

them: "well, she hasn't started yet"
me: "ok, well what other instruments does she play?"
the mother "none this is going to be her first, she sings and hums now"

I do my best salesmen smile and show them some squier starter sets the usual amp,guitar,cable,dvd thing and give them my usual routine when I showed these to customers. Something akin to "Think of this in car terms, it's a kia, its not flashy, it dosent have the best featuers but its great to start out with and will get her comfortable with the guitar" so the dad looks at me dead in the eye and in complete seriousness says "I would never dream of having her drive in a kia, her first car is gonna be a bmw, show me a bmw" now normally I would have seen dollar signs but seeing as their daughter was 5 I knew there was gonna be a 95% chance whatever they got was going to be returned but i showed them some P.R.S, 2 used F.C.S we had all the while telling them I didn't think a child that age would be able to benefit from those guitars. The wife at this point was going up to people trying out guitars and telling them in the most nose in the air kind of way they sucked and to please stop playing (In one of the few days there was no wanking in the store) turns to me and says "what they're to big for her?" I explain that no its not a size issue its the fact that a kid won't appreciate hand wound pickups, and book matched tops ect ect; but she got it in her mind that its a matter of size and walk over to a novelty 10 fret mini guitar we have on the wall that's not even for sale and we proceed to have the following descussion

her: why would we want a full sized guitar, this is better for a child her size
me: well that's more a toy, and this (the starter pack) is more a real instrument and if you want her to be serious about it, you need a real instrument
her:but she is only 5
me:I know but this is not a real guitar, if you want her to learn guitar she needs a real guitar
her:but she's only 5

at this point I lose my cool alittle and explain to them with the smallest bit of harshness that they didn't play music so if they could kindly stop talking down to me, I was trying to help them get the best thing suited for their daughter....and here the nightmare begins.....

all of a sudden the wife starts screaming over and over again "WHATS WRONG WITH YOU, SHE'S ONLY FIVE!!!!" as if I had just told them I thought their daughter was sexy or something to that effect and she begins telling me how I'm disgusting, running over to customers telling them "he's a monster my daughter is only 5 years old!!!" while her husband repeatedly pokes me in the chest repeating "you got alot of nerve, I make more in a day then you make in a year" the entire store is staring at me, so about 3 managers run over and tell me to go on lunch break, looking at me like I'm a pedo, I come back a half an hour later to find out they left and had gotten the strat pack for $10 and the woman was so hysterical and the husband so angry that management could not get out of them what had happned, when I explained it to them it became obvious the store just had one pulled over on them.....Oh yea the day after Christmas the next month they came back wanting a refund for the full amount of the strat pack ($200) because it didn't matter what they paid for it, that's how much it was worth. THE END

alittle long winded I know but whenever I think about it I still laugh, ok who's got one?

[Vakmere]

The 5 year old has a good start on being a con artist.

[TheFanHead]

This is the sort of thing that makes me wonder about some people and the way they act. For one thing, why would you go into a guitar store, which is hopefully run by musicians, and then completely disregard what the salesperson says?

On a side note, this reminds of something that happened at a music shop that a friend owns. A bloke comes in asking for a PINK clarinet for his daughter (who is about 6 or 7 and dragged in with him). The owner of the music shop politely tells him that clarinets are almost always black or brown(did I get that right?), with the exceptions being a batch of custom clarinets he'd heard of that were made a a bright blue. The bloke proceeds to get angry and tells the owner that his daughter wants a £"$%ing pink clarinet and that is what she'll get. The owner once again, politely states that to his knowledge there are NO pink clarinets. The bloke then storms out the shop still half-dragging his daughter, saying he was going to find the cheapest clarinet he could find and SPRAY-PAINT it pink.
(sorry for the rant, but I needed to get it off my chest)

[fjadams]

This didn't happen to me, but my boy. He was ticket manager for the auditorium and come home one day all POed. Said he'd spent the afternoon arguing with a lady about her getting floor seats for the Ice Capades. Yep, true story.

[Fassa Albrecht]

Originally Posted by TheFanHead

This is the sort of thing that makes me wonder about some people and the way they act. For one thing, why would you go into a guitar store, which is hopefully run by musicians, and then completely disregard what the salesperson says?

Usually it's arrogance at the salesperson for being a salesperson. The majority of people seem to think that because you work in a shop, you're a brain-dead idiot, not realizing that especially for the more specialized types of shop, including musical instrument sales, do ask for quite high requirements. A recent advert for my local music shop wanted a piano salesperson who was at least grade 6, had at least 3 years sales experience and who could demonstrate competence in other areas of music too.

On a side note, this reminds of something that happened at a music shop that a friend owns. A bloke comes in asking for a PINK clarinet for his daughter (who is about 6 or 7 and dragged in with him). The owner of the music shop politely tells him that clarinets are almost always black or brown(did I get that right?), with the exceptions being a batch of custom clarinets he'd heard of that were made a a bright blue. The bloke proceeds to get angry and tells the owner that his daughter wants a £"$%ing pink clarinet and that is what she'll get. The owner once again, politely states that to his knowledge there are NO pink clarinets. The bloke then storms out the shop still half-dragging his daughter, saying he was going to find the cheapest clarinet he could find and SPRAY-PAINT it pink.
(sorry for the rant, but I needed to get it off my chest)

I've never seen a pink clarinet...and yes, clarinets are usually black. SOME are also brown.

[Depth_Charge]

Originally Posted by TheFanHead

For one thing, why would you go into a guitar store, which is hopefully run by musicians, and then completely disregard what the salesperson says?

Sometimes, a salesperson is motivated to sell you an item based on something other than your best interests...like that months product with the highest kickback for the store...or to clear old stock etc. It is not always in your best interest to trust or believe everything a salesman says, which is why some people are cynical around them.

Having said that I DO NOT believe the OP was operating in anything but the customers best interests in this case.

As for the pink clarinet...if I was the sales guy and I knew there was a place that did customisations, regardless of where, I'd have just given the contact details and helped him on his way. Some salespeople I've dealt with lose a degree of common courtesy when they realise a sale is not forthcoming

[charlie monroe]

not to be a stick in the mud, but my niece has one of these:

Merano Pink Student Clarinet with Case ECLAR-PK

[Fassa Albrecht]

Originally Posted by Depth_Charge

Sometimes, a salesperson is motivated to sell you an item based on something other than your best interests...like that months product with the highest kickback for the store...or to clear old stock etc. It is not always in your best interest to trust or believe everything a salesman says, which is why some people are cynical around them.

This is true. I can always remember wanting to buy a specific bass and the sales guy was offering me the chance to try quite a few more expensive and 'ex-demo special deal' instruments. Eventually I ended up walking away because it wasn't worth the hassle, plus I then bought the same model and make of bass some time later slightly cheaper.

As for the pink clarinet...if I was the sales guy and I knew there was a place that did customisations, regardless of where, I'd have just given the contact details and helped him on his way. Some salespeople I've dealt with lose a degree of common courtesy when they realise a sale is not forthcoming

Half the time the salespeople are completely clueless on outside contacts for anything like that. That said, I've never had bother.

[Webtroll]

I took a P Special in for repairs at a local store and they outsourced it to someone else. I picked up the bass and tried it out, and the preamp didn't work. The treble worked like a passive tone knob and the bass didn't do anything at all, and it was the same with the preamp on or off. As I tried it in the store I asked about why it was left in the bass when I asked for it to be removed if it didn't work, and they called the repair tech. The repair tech told me that the preamp was working fine, but that the effect was "subtle." I couldn't believe he was saying that and the store was standing behind him despite not being able to hear any difference with the bass knob. I've never been back, not even for strings. I have spoken to other musicians who have asked for good places to take instruments for repair, and I always steer them away from there and explain why. The nerve of the tech to tell me the EQ was subtle as if the Emperor really was wearing new clothes. I knew the preamp may not work and I had asked if he couldn't repair it that he replace the passive controls. Subtle my arse.

[pie_man_25]

man, and here I was thinking that working at a music store would be like a dream come true and NOTHING bad could possibly happen and I would NEVER have to deal with difficult customers, thanks a lot frankenjazz. [/sarcasm]

[frankenjazz]

I hope you guys found it amusing, thefanhead did your friend ever find out what happened to the guy wanting the pink clarinet? I can picture him coming back with a a badly spray painted one with paint runs all over it to prove his point

[Russell L]

Some old clarinets are silver. I have one from the 20s or 30s that is all nickel silver all over. Cool. Sounds different, too.

On the flip side, I took my son to a local shop to buy him an electric guitar. We were looking at one when a young whippersnapping salesman comes over and begins to explain things about the guitar. But, what he said wasn't all correct. I guess he didn't know he was talking to someone who knew WAYY more about the subject than he did. He looked pretty sheepish when I explained it all back to him, correcting his mistakes and adding some stuff he'd never heard of. My son and I laughed our butts off afterwards.

[frankenjazz]

I have another one thats pretty good too, it involves a certain famous white rapper from the early 90s who's rap name rhymed with shmanilla shnice and his real name sounds like slob.

this happened jan of 06, our store opened that day at 10 o'clock and at 10 on the clock, the assistant g.m has a bunch of guys help what he calls one of his v.i.p customers get stuff out of his car for a trade in, I didn't work drums but the drum dept manager asked me to help him out until someone for that department came in so I'm helping set up kits, organize displays ect ect, when the guys come in one piece at a time with a mustard yellow 6 piece yamaha kit and this rapper walks in behind them, sun glasses on, sideways cap looking every bit the goof i pictured him to be. Anways, he says he wants to trade in the kit and he wants $600 for it, so I look up the model and see that we in fact sold him that very kit 5 months prior for $299 and I tell him so, so he tells me "go get someone who knows what the f*ck they're doing you don't know the game kid" o.k so I get the drum manager and explain to him the situation and they have the following exchange

drum manager: Look man I can't give you $600 for it, I'll give you $150 cause youre friends with (assistant g.m)
shmanilla: (slightly agitated tone) What do you mean $150, do you know how much people will pay for this kit?
drum manager: yea after I replace the heads and replace the Hi-hat stand like $200 maybe $250
shmanilla:ARE YOU F*CKING KIDDING ME!?!?! (knocks over a counter display of sticks) DON'T YOU KNOW WHO I AM?!?!
drum manager: whoa man just calm down shmanilla(gets interrupted by shmanilla)
shmanilla: WHAT THE F*CK DID YOU JUST CALL ME!?!?!?! (throws temper tantrum about that is not his name his name is slob bla bla bla) I proceed to walk out of the drum dept laughing at the pure silliness of it all and go to the bass dept to do some wipe downs and tune ups when I see him crossing the showroom floor to his buddy the assistant g.m and proceeds to point at me and at the drum dept and while I coudn't hear what he was saying his body language was angry and I thought to myself "f*ck it, if shmanilla shnice is gonna get me in trouble I'm gonna have some fun with it" so i take p-bass special, plug it into an svt classic through 8x10s crank it up completely and proceed to play "under pressure" making eye contact with shmanilla and the assistant g.m the whole time, after about 45 secs the assistant g.m walks over and tells me to stop playing that song

me: "why?"
him:"you know why"
me: "no, why, don't you like queen?"
him:"slob wants you to stop playing his song"
me: "it's not, its queen and david bowie"
him: "don't give me that"
me: "to quote shmanilla it dosent have the ching in it so its a completely different song, you can go tell him that"
him: "thats not funny"
me: "I'm dead serious, I'm quoting him, if he has a problem with queen thats his problem not mine, you can tell him I said that"

he then goes over to shmanilla and I guess he actually told him I said that because the only thing I heard from the conversation was shmanilla yelling "ARE YOU F*CKING KIDDING ME?!?!" and storming out, I got written up and sent home for the day, the next day I found out he ended taking the $150 for the set and I learned two lesson

1. shmanilla hates being called shmanilla
2.even he knows under pressure and his song are the same thing


on a side note a month later me and my friend are driving around when I stop for some gas, while I'm filling up he goes inside to buy cigarettes, after coming out he tells me that there's this guy in there, and they didn't talk to each other or anthing but he had the overwhelming urge to punch this complete stranger in the face so we sit in the car waiting for this stanger then my buddy starts pointing, "THATS HIM BRO! thats the dude I wanted to punch in the face, I just don't know why but I have this over whelming urge to go beat him up" I look at the guy...... it's shmanilla shnice

[Handyman]

Originally Posted by frankenjazz

me: "why?"
him:"you know why"
me: "no, why, don't you like queen?"
him:"slob wants you to stop playing his song"
me: "it's not, its queen and david bowie"
him: "don't give me that"
me: "to quote shmanilla it dosent have the ching in it so its a completely different song, you can go tell him that"
him: "thats not funny"
me: "I'm dead serious, I'm quoting him, if he has a problem with queen thats his problem not mine, you can tell him I said that"

he then goes over to shmanilla and I guess he actually told him I said that because the only thing I heard from the conversation was shmanilla yelling "ARE YOU F*CKING KIDDING ME?!?!" and storming out, I got written up and sent home for the day, the next day I found out he ended taking the $150 for the set and I learned two lesson

I'm confused. I though this thread was about obnoxious customers, not obnoxious salesman trying to bait obnoxious customers.

Sounds like you were trying to escalate a really bad situation into an extordinarily bad situation.

[MatticusMania]

^ Yeah, but it was still funny.

[Handyman]

Originally Posted by MatticusMania

^ Yeah, but it was still funny.

Absolutely.

[OmnitzGarima]

Originally Posted by charlie monroe

not to be a stick in the mud, but my niece has one of these:

Merano Pink Student Clarinet with Case ECLAR-PK

Oh, man. Now I want one, too.

[frankenjazz]

Handyman, Hahaha yea I did make it worse but I was just 18 or 19 at the time and my mentality was just as I stated, if I am going to get in trouble I might as well get some enjoyment out of it, not to say what I did wasn't an *sshole thing to do because it was but as my math teacher in 5 grade used to write on the board "respect give = respect received", and maybe I should have given the full story, it should be noted that he had a history of pulling stunts like that in the store and I saw no reason why I should continue the chain of abuse. As a result of me doing what I did, the next time He came into the store, he came to trade in a guitar, and I was the only one at the counter so I ended up taking care of him. Not only was he polite and even bordering on friendly but me and him had a friendly exchange where he mentioned me playing under pressure and how it wasn't cool, to which I told him I wouldn't have done it if he wasn't being a d*ck, he understood and agreed that his behavior kind of caused it and we both apologized, that day he bought a combo amp and when I took it out to the car for him and he gave me a $50, so all is well that ends well

[Fassa Albrecht]

Originally Posted by OmnitzGarima

Oh, man. Now I want one, too.

Me too!

[AltGrendel]

Originally Posted by frankenjazz

Handyman, Hahaha yea I did make it worse but I was just 18 or 19 at the time and my mentality was just as I stated, if I am going to get in trouble I might as well get some enjoyment out of it, not to say what I did wasn't an *sshole thing to do because it was but as my math teacher in 5 grade used to write on the board "respect give = respect received", and maybe I should have given the full story, it should be noted that he had a history of pulling stunts like that in the store and I saw no reason why I should continue the chain of abuse. As a result of me doing what I did, the next time He came into the store, he came to trade in a guitar, and I was the only one at the counter so I ended up taking care of him. Not only was he polite and even bordering on friendly but me and him had a friendly exchange where he mentioned me playing under pressure and how it wasn't cool, to which I told him I wouldn't have done it if he wasn't being a d*ck, he understood and agreed that his behavior kind of caused it and we both apologized, that day he bought a combo amp and when I took it out to the car for him and he gave me a $50, so all is well that ends well

All's well that ends well.
Glad to hear this.