Kicking Someone Out of a Band

MikeyFingers · #1 12-02-2009, 10:56 AM

My band played an out-of-town gig a few months ago. Our lead guitarist couldn't make the trip, but the singer/rhythm player could fill in most of his guitar parts. However, he also sang backup vocals. I offered to step in where possible, but I'm a terrible singer and I know it, not to mention that when I sing I tend to play sloppy.
So I went into this gig expecting to provide crappy backup vocals wherever it wouldn't interfere with my playing.
What actually happened was this:
Without consulting anyone else, our trumpet player (who has been a nuisance in the band forever) lets some girl he knows fill in. She sucks. She's tone-deaf, she has no power in her voice, she's got nothing going for her.
That was like 4 months ago....she's still in the band. No audition, no discussion, she just keeps coming back and the trumpet player encourages her and gives her a mic every time.
I've mentioned it a million times in private to the other band members, but only 1 of them was ever on my side. The others just gave half-hearted "eh she's ok, I don't care" answers....except for trumpet-man who thinks she sounds great.
And NOW all of a sudden, out of the blue, everyone's on my side. I found out yesterday that everyone (except the trumpeter of course) thinks she's awful and I guess nobody had the balls to say anything.
So the situation is that we have a talentless hack of a singer who thinks she's in the band, only 1 (of 7) band members who actually want her there, and nobody with the balls to kick her out. We're probably gonna force the trumpeter to do it since it was his fault in the first place.
This kind of crap is what makes it so difficult to be in a big band.

bassteban · #2 12-02-2009, 11:04 AM

You guys could all quit(except for the singer & (s)trumpet

player then re-form.

standupright · #3 12-02-2009, 11:10 AM

i hear ya. after 3 months of rehearsals with a new 3 piece horn section, i finally had to get everyone else together and force the decision to let them go. it was horrible. and by horrible, i mean, these grown adults did not put one ounce of effort in to personal rehearsal time and when we rehearsed as a group it was just plain embarrassing. it sounded worse than elementary school band warm up. frustrating, but, ya gotta do what ya gotta do.

duo8675309 · #4 12-02-2009, 11:16 AM

Tell her at gunpoint. She probably won't even argue.

MysticMichael · #5 12-02-2009, 11:19 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MikeyFingers

This kind of crap is what makes it so difficult to be in a big band.

No ground rules for how the band is to function. No consensus on decision-making authority, i.e. who has it, under what circumstances he/they is/are allowed to use it, etc. Terrible communication. Lack of leadership.

Typical amateur stuff. Absolutely right out of the "textbook"...

MM

Steve · #6 12-02-2009, 12:32 PM

Nope. It's the trumpet players job. He brought her in, he sends her out. Or, they both go. His choice.

jmellon · #7 12-02-2009, 12:46 PM

you havent made clear if you have found a replacement, if so, thank her for her assistance and wish her all the best. If she never officially joined the band she cant really be sacked. Keep it professional and detached and give the trumpet player the heads up in advance it wouldnt be fair to spring it on him

dkhp124 · #8 12-02-2009, 12:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by duo8675309

Tell her at gunpoint. She probably won't even argue.

+1

fenderx55 · #9 12-02-2009, 12:57 PM

Get your drummer to sleep with her. Hasn't failed for us yet!

Jason P Bass · #10 12-02-2009, 01:25 PM

+1

If she can't sing, but *somebody* keeps bringing her around, and that *somebody* thinks she sounds great, then *somebody* is, in the parlance of our times, trying to hit that.

Get the trumpet player laid, get the bad singer laid by someone else in the band, or get the trumpet player AND the bad singer laid at the same time. Once that's over and done with, you'll probably find out that EVERYBODY thinks she's a horrible singer.

EricF · #11 12-02-2009, 01:42 PM

Have a band meeting (seperate from rehearsal). Since she's not offically part of the band, she shouldn't be there. Someone has to be the spokesman, but the rest of you ALL need to be united on the issue. Let the trumpet player know that his friend is not welcome to sing with the band any more because her singing is impacting the performance of the group as a whole. Either he can tell her, or you can tell her, but the bottom line is that it has to stop immediately. Of course, there's a chance that the trupmet player's panties might get all bunchy. Be sure to let him know that he is still a valued member of the group. If he chooses to get bent about it and leave, that's on him.

jgsbass · #12 12-02-2009, 01:56 PM

+1 on a band meeting> Who's in charge of the band anyway? Democratic? Vote her out and him too if necessary. One person? They need to step up and take care of business. And it is business. My guess is the trumpet player is the only one getting a perk out of this arrangement. No reason for the band to suffer because the trumpet player needs "something" scratched. Having been in situations where a relationship between band members has hurt and eventually killed the band, you should act now before it gets ugly. And if he's fooling around with her, it's gonna be ugly.

Steve · #13 12-02-2009, 02:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jason P Bass

Get the trumpet player laid, get the bad singer laid by someone else in the band, or get the trumpet player AND the bad singer laid at the same time. Once that's over and done with, you'll probably find out that EVERYBODY thinks she's a horrible singer.

Quote:

Originally Posted by MikeyFingers

And NOW all of a sudden, out of the blue, everyone's on my side. I found out yesterday that everyone (except the trumpeter of course) thinks she's awful

Apparently, they've already had their wild weekend frolic. Or were you proposing a second one just to be sure?

MysticMichael · #14 12-02-2009, 02:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jason P Bass

Get the trumpet player laid, get the bad singer laid by someone else in the band, or get the trumpet player AND the bad singer laid at the same time. Once that's over and done with, you'll probably find out that EVERYBODY thinks she's a horrible singer.

Congratulations. You've just succeeded in proposing the stupidest, most juvenile suggestion in this thread yet...

MM

JustDavid · #15 12-02-2009, 02:47 PM

Get trumper player to 'fire' her.

If he ends up quitting, well, you've lost someone selfish enough to hobble the band with a lousy singer. Bummer.

RFord04 · #16 12-02-2009, 02:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MysticMichael

Congratulations. You've just succeeded in proposing the stupidest, most juvenile suggestion in this thread yet...

MM

Congratulations. You've just succeeded in being the biggest snob in this thread yet. Try giving some constructive criticism instead of just pointing out how "stupid" or "amateur" something or someone is.

To the OP, it sounds to me like the trumpet player is letting personal matters get in the way of business. If he can't step up and take care of the situation, which is his fault in the first place, then he might be a problem down the road as well.

**Eric Perry** · #17 12-02-2009, 03:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by RFord04

Try giving some constructive criticism instead of just pointing out how "stupid" or "amateur" something or someone is...

It seems (as quoted below) that he already did. Perhaps you should read the whole thread?

Quote:

Originally Posted by MysticMichael

No ground rules for how the band is to function. No consensus on decision-making authority, i.e. who has it, under what circumstances he/they is/are allowed to use it, etc. Terrible communication. Lack of leadership.

Typical amateur stuff. Absolutely right out of the "textbook"...

Totally agreed.

Jason P Bass · #18 12-02-2009, 04:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MysticMichael

Congratulations. You've just succeeded in proposing the stupidest, most juvenile suggestion in this thread yet...

MM

THIS THREAD IS USELESS WITHOUT PICS of the hottie in your band that you're trying to lay.

BritPicker · #19 12-02-2009, 06:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by RFord04

Congratulations. You've just succeeded in being the biggest snob in this thread yet. Try giving some constructive criticism instead of just pointing out how "stupid" or "amateur" something or someone is.

To the OP, it sounds to me like the trumpet player is letting personal matters get in the way of business. If he can't step up and take care of the situation, which is his fault in the first place, then he might be a problem down the road as well.

Yeah, to me it sounds like the girl is 'attractive'. At first most of the band liked having her around, hence their 'she's ok' stance in the beginning.

Maybe some of the guys fancied their chances, who knows.

Anyway, eventually they've realized she's spoiling their fun and the novelty has worn off. They can no longer ignore her musical deficiencies.

Now you've got to toughen up and give her the boot. That really goes against what most musos are like, 99% of whom are sweet, non-confrontational guys and gals.

I think you just have to be honest and open. Don't play silly games. Just tell her its not working. You don't have to be ashamed to say it. If you leave it till you are totally at the end of your tether with her, someone may say something that is just nasty, and the people really get hurt, and no one wants that.

This way you all get to remain respectful and hopefully friends. If she's really serious about music then maybe it will give her the impetus to improve.

Hope it works out.

bucephylus · #20 12-02-2009, 06:13 PM

My 2c:

Gigs define the band and keep it together.

Whoever actually books the gigs is the boss, regardless of whatever other leadership roles go on. That person needs to make the band staffing decisions for a whole lot of reasons; among them, their butt is on the line for delivering a quality product at the gig. Players need to fall in line with that person's decisions and be team players or get fired.

If you follow that philosophy, things get a whole lot simpler.