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  #1  
Old 05-02-2009, 11:01 AM
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Left hand from hell (keyboard player)

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I know there's nothing new under the Talkbass sun, but I remember years ago playing in the pit for a small theatrical production. So one night the drummer tells me his friend will be playing keyboards because the regular was out - uh...huh...

1. the guy HAD to play bass with his left hand
2. the guy did not know any of the songs
3. the guy HAD to play bass with his left hand
4. the guy was clearly out of his depth regardless
5. the guy HAD to play bass with his left hand

I near killed him that night his inaccurate clashing with me was so bad, and naturally the keyboard was way louder - made it sound like I was fumbling around! After two songs I told him to just stop. Luckily there were recorded tracks for the performers to use. I felt aweful - this was a public event - people were paying to see this.

I hate it when keys players lead themselves with the left hand - I never did get far with it but imho that's a poor way to learn, probably I guess the result of necessity. Fine on their own but disaster with a bassist.
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Last edited by conqr : 05-02-2009 at 11:04 AM.
  #2  
Old 05-02-2009, 01:08 PM
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Shoulda gave him the back of your left hand from hell
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  #3  
Old 05-02-2009, 01:48 PM
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BREAK his left hand, it works.
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  #4  
Old 05-02-2009, 01:56 PM
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Originally Posted by xgator4u View Post
BREAK his left hand, it works.
+1,000,000!

Cheers,
Jim
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  #5  
Old 05-03-2009, 12:18 AM
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Originally Posted by xgator4u View Post
BREAK his left hand, it works.
Or at least duct tape his fingers.
  #6  
Old 05-03-2009, 06:47 AM
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was in a soul band a while back and the keyboardist wanted me to play the same bass notes as him.as he was the leader of the band i complied but i often wondered what the hell i was there for.fortunately i'm now in a 'who' tribute band.so i'm a lot happier.
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  #7  
Old 05-03-2009, 07:05 AM
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For those saying I shoulda done something to that hand, 'near killed him' means I actually kinda just went ahead and you know, chopped it off

I should be out soon though my parole came through
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  #8  
Old 05-03-2009, 01:51 PM
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Our church choir director wanted to add my bass to a gospel song we were doing. The church pianist kept playing in my zone. The choir director told him in no uncertain terms to get his left hand out of the bass players' range.

It's nice to have someone else run interference.
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  #9  
Old 05-03-2009, 01:56 PM
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There's a local blues/funk band that started with no bass player, just a very talented keyboard player who also had a lot of bass in his sound. It was fine - they honestly did not need a bass player. But they added one anyway. The bassist had no presence whatsoever in the mix, and when they 'let' him do a little solo jam, there was no bottom end in his sound and he definitely lacks skill-wise compared to the rest of the guys in the band. The keys player was still carrying the bass and was doing just fine on his own.

Why would they even bother with a bass player? I was almost tempted to ask them.
  #10  
Old 05-03-2009, 01:57 PM
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Common problem. I work with a B3 player once in awhile, and he makes me completely redundant. Hate those gigs.

How many bass players does it take to change a lightbulb?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
. None. The keyboard player can do it with his left hand.
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  #11  
Old 05-03-2009, 01:59 PM
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Keyboardists that do that have little, if no, experience in a band setting and spend most of their time playing by themselves. A good band keyboardist will have his left hand close to, if not next to, his right.

Reminds me of an audition for a blues band I once (read ONCE) attended. They had a geek straight out of the Silicon Valley (bermuda shorts, blacks socks, black shoes, Volvo) audtioning on keys as well. He had an 88-key board which made me leery from the beginning. After about 4 songs, I told him to please let me handle the bass lines. He then punched a couple of buttons on his keyboard, started playing what sounded like a string bass, and he said, "Look you don't even need a bass player." At that I said, "Alrighty then. I'm outta here" and started packing my stuff. They told me to please stay, but I said I really didn't see fitting in to this band.
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  #12  
Old 05-03-2009, 02:00 PM
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Man, can I relate to this! Years ago when I was playing in a Top 10 band, the keyboard player would drift into the low range when he felt like it. Now he had good timing, but everytime he hit the same low note as me, a weird low harmonic tone would resonant. It may have sounded cool on his side of the stage but not on mine. It took me about five gigs to figure out what was happening.
  #13  
Old 05-03-2009, 08:22 PM
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I've found that placing a roll of duct tape on the keyboard gets the point across. I have only had to follow through once. The jerk lost the bottom 2 octaves for the rest of the night.
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  #14  
Old 05-03-2009, 09:42 PM
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Never had a problem with key players but I did threaten to break a drummers kick foot, one day I was playing a gig with a new drummer and he was kicking when there was no need to kick and he was way off beat on like the whole set so on our break from the sett\ I told him "see that dass drum pedal dont touch it if you do you will regret it." and he was laughing and thought I was joking well I didnt break his foot but I stole his bass drum pedal during tear down, The next day "hey guys did you see my kick pedal" I said "nope cant recall" so he went and bought a new one even though it was the back of my rack the whole time hahaha I still have it to this day in my closet. though i dont play with that clown no more.
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  #15  
Old 05-04-2009, 02:57 PM
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lol I have this problem with keyboard players all the time. I just hand them a beer and say "hold this in your left hand and dont put it down." If he's a smart keyboard player with decent ears he'll here the difference on the spot. And its usually a friendly way to let a keys player know that he's stepping on your toes.
  #16  
Old 05-04-2009, 03:08 PM
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Hmmm...just had a gig last weekend with a keyboardist from hell! Left hand city! Got so bad, I just stopped playing and started playing percussion!
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  #17  
Old 05-04-2009, 03:20 PM
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I used to keep a hacky sack in my bag to throw at my keyboardist when he got in my space.

I had to throw it twice. He got the idea when I hit his left hand at 40mph. (this was after many warnings and him telling me to "let me know if I overstep")

He knew.

Him and that KC 500.... sheesh.
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