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10-19-2006, 07:50 AM
| | Registered User | | Join Date: Oct 2004 Location: New York, NY | | | Light Bulbs
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On the way back from a gig we were passing the time in the van with a little lighthearted insult session. I was surprised at the limited number of bass insults that the others had in their arsenal. So, in a moment of self-deprecation, I came up with a few....maybe someone else beat me to it but here goes.....
How many bassists does it take to change a light bulb?
None. We'll get that guy from the Doors to do it all with one hand.
or
Doesn't matter. We'll just have the guitar player redo it when the bassist leaves the studio. |
10-19-2006, 06:07 PM
| | Registered User | | Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: Calgary, AB | | | One. Five. One. Five. |
10-22-2006, 10:11 PM
| | ...Bluesin' and Funkin' | | Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: Montreal, Quebec, Canada | | | None, the pianist can just do it with his left hand.
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10-22-2006, 10:17 PM
| | Registered User | | Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: Ridgefield CT/ Stony Brook NY | | | six, one to change the bulb and five to argue about how Jaco would have done it.
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10-22-2006, 11:55 PM
| | | | They won't change it. They'll be content in the dark doing their groove, and won't need to see anything anyway. |
10-23-2006, 04:01 PM
| | Registered User | | Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: St. John's, NL | | | 6, 1 to screw it in and 5 to fight it away from the guitarist. |
10-23-2006, 07:36 PM
| | Registered User | | Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: Modesto, CA | | | 2 one to change it and one to post about it on TalkBass
10 one to change it and 9 to argue about whether or not the Qintar changed it.
only one but he/she needs tab to learn how
2 one to change it and one to wrestle it out of the keyboardists left hand
only one but he/she will never get any recognition for it
3 one to change it and two more to hold the extra basses for the Manring medely afterwards
2 one to change it and one to help load his gear into his girlfriends car
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Gallien-Krueger Club #695
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10-23-2006, 09:00 PM
| | Registered User | | Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: north of chicago | | | one, but no one cares anyway
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10-23-2006, 09:47 PM
| | | | Q:What's the prefect pitch for a Banjo?
A: About 30 yards with a good tail wind..........
Q: How many flys does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: 2, but don't ask me how they got in there......
Q: How many "Deadheads" does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: They don't. They just wait till it burns out and then follow it around for 40 years.......
Q: how do you get a guitar player to stop playing?
A: put sheet music in front of him.
(The reverse is true for keybord players.)
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10-23-2006, 11:31 PM
|  | Registered User | | Join Date: Aug 2003 Location: Seattle, Washington | | How many bassists does it take to change a light bulb?
2 - one to hold the light bulb in place, and one to get drunk untill the room spins. 
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10-27-2006, 03:24 PM
| | Registered User | | Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: north of chicago | | | how many indy kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
It's this really cool number, but you've probably never heard of it
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10-27-2006, 04:32 PM
| | | Quote: |
Originally Posted by skinnypete How many bassists does it take to change a light bulb? | Why bother? The guitarist is just going to steal his light anyway! |
10-27-2006, 07:47 PM
| | Registered User | | Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: Canada! | | Quote: |
Originally Posted by spudmaster34 how many indy kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
It's this really cool number, but you've probably never heard of it |
HAHAHAHA, thats awesome man.
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10-27-2006, 08:11 PM
| | Registered User | | Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: Canada! | | | EDIT: oops duble post. sorry
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Tall Club - #30
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10-29-2006, 10:42 PM
| | Registered User | | Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: danville CA | | | how many kids with ADD does it take to screw in a light bulb.
hey lets go play video games
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11-07-2006, 08:19 PM
| | Registered User | | Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: north of chicago | | | sorry this thread is old, I came up with a great one today
how many saxaphone players does it take to change a lightbulb?
don't bother, they'll do a crappy job and blame it on the reed
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Yamaha club member 1, Long hair club member 10, and all around fairly decent guy.
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11-08-2006, 06:46 AM
| | Bassists do it with 2 fingers...and a thumb | | Join Date: Aug 2003 Location: East Coast | | | how does a lead singer change a lightbulb? He holds it and waits for the world to revolve around him.
What do you call a guy who hangs around with a bunch of musicians? A singer.
Why couldn't the lead singer get into his apartment? He couldn't find the right key.
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11-08-2006, 03:44 PM
| | Registered User | | Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: Modesto, CA | | | Whats the difference between a female jazz singer and an elephant?
about 35 lbs...........
Whats the difference between a female blues singer and a killer whale?
the sequined dress.........
Whats the difference between a lead guitarist and a large pizza?
you can feed a family of 4 with a large pizza.......
Whats a guitarists favorite meal?
Noodles............
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Gallien-Krueger Club #695
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11-08-2006, 04:18 PM
| | Registered User | | Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: Orlando, FL | | How do you get a nu-metal guitarist to stop playing guitar?
Standard Tunning.
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Eric
TriadicalSounds.com
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11-09-2006, 05:55 AM
|  | Registered User | | Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: Cincinnati | | | What's the difference between a soprano and a Lamborgini?
Most musicians have never been in a Lamborgini.
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