Might be an entertaining disaster of a gig
Got a gig in two weeks at an arts festival being put together by, for and about foreigners living in this city. It seems to be a first time for most of the organizers, they're all foreigners, and they're dealing with our government bodies and the European Union. No real website yet, schedule is not confirmed, ticket prices are known but nobody knows how much we're supposed to be getting paid etc. The venue can officially hold 187. And this is in two weeks.
Not that the "band" is in much better shape. The BL is a Brazilian putting together a new band with a couple of other guitarists, one Brazlian and one Italian. We rehearsed once with one of them and spent time trying to figure out what key the BL wants to sing a song I've never heard in, then decided to junk the verses in one of his originals and replace them with rapped lyrics from country songs and then asked the Italian to write a rap verse in Italian, too. Theoretically I shouldn't be playing at this festival at all because I was born here and the organizers want foreigners, but I lived in Texas 17 years and am pretty swarthy (the Italian ends up looking like "the white guy" in this lineup) so I can kind of count as a foreigner.
But the good news is that at least according to the current draft schedule we're going on at 10 pm on Saturday, the BL's employer is supposedly buying 50 tickets because they have a lot of other foreigners working there so there should be more than 10 people there, and I get to sing a current top 10 hit.
So... if you were a bookie, what odds would you give me on:
The festival happening at all
The festival happening again next year
Over/under on number of people in the audience during our set
Ooh! I get to set the lines.
The festival happening at all: +170
The festival happening again next year: +600
Over/under on people in the audience during your set: 82.5
LOL. FWIW the festival has a website now, we managed to rehearse with the full lineup, solved the three guitarist problem by borrowing a cajon that a couple of them can play sometimes, took a band picture with a phone, and added a guest singerbabe who will let us pull off the "songs by people from all continents except Antarctica" thing.
Next we need a setlist...
Uh oh. If the guest singer can't pull off music from Antarctica, clearly this whole thing is going down the tubes. Run, run fast!
JK. I bet it's going to RAWK!
Those Antartican folk songs are tough to sing. Gotta get them done fast before the frostbite hits your vocal chords.
Update: we were told Wednesday that there's a change in the schedule and we're playing at 7 pm because a certain sponsor wants some other band to headline, but got the posters today and both those and the website still say 10 pm, so we don't know. Nobody seems to know who this mystery headliner is, either.
And at this point I'd bet "under" on the audience size.
Do you guys have a name yet? How about "Crap Shoot"? JK...hope it works out well!
This is supposed to be broadcast live online - will confirm that and post a link so y'all can see it all go down.
Name... well, we're on the posters and website as "Daniel Gady & Junior Arto" which is the two Brazilians, but we're going to introduce ourselves as "Gady and the Reptiles" because "gady" means "reptiles" in Polish. That name was my idea - I don't mind getting second-rate billing if it means working under such an awesomely stupid name.
And the organizers got an anonymous email yesterday threatening that unless one of them is removed from his position, the anonymous emailer will publish a story in local media outlets that this guy isn't very nice and calls people mean things on Facebook. LOL. Blackmail really gives it that big festival feel.
Got the updated schedule, the mystery headliner has materialized, we're now on two hours earlier and our set got cut from an hour to 30 minutes. The BL was coughing, losing his voice and taking antibiotics yesterday and got a lot worse today. But where others see obstacles I see opportunity - I told him to spend tomorrow hanging out with the headliner and cough on him a lot.
Please tell me there will be video!!!
There will be. I'm not gonna rely on the organizers delivering the recordings they promise, though, gonna ask somebody to pull out their phone and at least get some video of me singing "Wake Me Up".
Since this is an international festival we're trying to be very international so we'll have foul lyrics in four languages, and the last song mentions both Hitler and Bin Laden (two Brazilian guys in the band, a song about Hitler and Bin Laden - that oughta be enough of a hint for somebody to guess what that song is). Also, the BL asked me to play shirtless and to stir up more trouble I told him to ask our guest singerbabe if she wants that.
End result: not entertaining, just plain dull and not worth the trouble. Guest singerbabe was either lucky or smart and called in sick with a fever. We got kicked off the stage after 35 minutes by British guys unhappy that they will have to pay a fine if the whole thing doesn't finish on time. After that I introduced the BL to his new bassist, a girl I had sold one of the Burberry basses to. He took it well, and was pretty happy that he woudln't have to deal with my insistence on playing lots of really popular songs.
We did get three drink tokens each which unlike the drink tokens you get at most bars contained a stamp confirming that the goods or services received are in accordance with some law about government orders of goods or services and asking for a signature. The bar staff didn't insist we actually sign those, but the it turned out they're only good for one kind of beer, so our BL who's on antibiotics and forbidden to drink alcohol couldn't get any tea or water or non-alcoholic beer with them. After that he told me I was right that government-subsidized gigs are lame and not worth playing.
As for the over/under bet, I think there were about 80 people there, but might have been a bit more.
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