Go Back   TalkBass Forums > Bass Guitar Forums > Bass Guitar Forums > Bass Humor & Gig Stories [BG]
Register Rules/FAQ/CUP Members List Search Today's Posts Mark Forums Read

Bass Humor & Gig Stories [BG] Bass jokes, musician jokes, gigs gone wrong...


Supporting Membership
Thank You

Latest Supporting Member
Donate to Upgrade Today

Reply
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread
  #1  
Old 06-01-2012, 09:26 AM
Registered User
 
Join Date: Apr 2009
Musical quote of the day

Musical quote of the day. Post your favorites.

You can't hold no groove, if you ain't got no pocket.
  #2  
Old 06-01-2012, 01:30 PM
Registered User
 
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: Here we are...
Boy,all you do is play bass and throw clothes on the floor!



Aunt Jean,1982
__________________
Quote:
Originally Posted by NightTripper View Post
Of course Ringo didn't play on the Beatles tracks. Everyone knows he lost his arms in the same car crash that killed Paul McCartney.
  #3  
Old 06-01-2012, 10:45 PM
Registered User
 
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: ottawa, ontario, canada
"your finger feels funny"
__________________
http://soundcloud.com/john-austin-mclaughlin/spynic
"A rolling Coprolite gathers no Sphagnum." Gazman
  #4  
Old 06-02-2012, 12:32 AM
Registered User
 
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Cincinnati Ohio
On the live Aerosmith CD "You Gotta Move", Steven Tyler makes the comment "Sometime's you're the windshield and sometime's you're the bug"
__________________
Musician: Someone who loads $5,000 worth of gear into a $500 car and drives 50 miles to a gig that pays $50
  #5  
Old 06-02-2012, 12:38 AM
Tat2dHeart's Avatar
The world owes you nothing. It was here first.
 
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Near Orlando FL
Send a message via MSN to Tat2dHeart Send a message via Yahoo to Tat2dHeart
GOLD Supporting Member
I really hate it when you do that. You look at me like what I'm telling you about this theory is the most foreign concept in the world. Then, you play something that's a far more complicated technique. You get this, you just don't know you get this. ~Rob, friend and former teacher
__________________
Clubs in profile.

Quote:
Originally Posted by bassteban View Post
...and it is EFFING MAGICAL like 2-headed robot unicorn bagpipe bands fighting terminator/transformer mermaids w/battle axes on acid. Everyone should have that in their life.
  #6  
Old 06-02-2012, 09:23 AM
Registered User
 
Join Date: Apr 2009
Quote:
Originally Posted by iridiumrocks View Post
On the live Aerosmith CD "You Gotta Move", Steven Tyler makes the comment "Sometime's you're the windshield and sometime's you're the bug"
Dire Straits actually did a song about that topic.

Dire Straits - The Bug
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J2stdeOOuR0


Here is another good musical quote.

"I'm not playing all the wrong notes.....I'm playing all the right notes....but not necessarily in the right order."
  #7  
Old 06-02-2012, 10:54 AM
Registered User
 
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Connecticut
'You're never more than a half step away from a right note.' (or something to that effect)- Victor Wooten
__________________
lefties- we're the only ones in our right minds.
  #8  
Old 06-02-2012, 10:56 AM
Registered User
 
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Utah
"If you play it wrong, do it again and we'll call it Jazz"
__________________
Praise and Worship Bassist #812. British Bassists Club #134
  #9  
Old 06-02-2012, 11:07 AM
Registered User
 
Join Date: Sep 2011
"Music expresses that which cannot be said and on which it is impossible to be silent."
~Victor Hugo
__________________
I lick it...if it's not salty enough, I put it back...if it tastes like garlic, I buy it on the spot
  #10  
Old 06-02-2012, 11:15 AM
Registered User
 
Join Date: Jul 2007
"I am sitting in the smallest room of my house. I have your review in front of me. Very soon it will be behind me."

- Gustav Mahler
__________________
Rickenbacker club #86, Yamaha BB club #4
Cort Club #28
  #11  
Old 06-02-2012, 02:20 PM
bassybill's Avatar
No need to ask, he's a smooth...
Moderator
 
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: West Midlands UK
Supporting Member
On "Made In Japan" by Deep Purple, from Gillan to the sound guy:

""Can we have everything louder than everything else?"
__________________
Quote:
Originally Posted by SBassman View Post
Man, I'd soil myself playing in a band like that.
  #12  
Old 06-02-2012, 02:27 PM
Registered User
 
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Woodstock/Crystal Lake, IL
"These go to 11."
__________________
Quote:
Originally Posted by line6man View Post
You are arguing with physics.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Midfour View Post
He's from Australia, not Pluto. I think he knows what a breakdown is.
Quote:
Originally Posted by chuck norriss View Post
I think sodomy is illegal in some places. Oh never mind.
  #13  
Old 06-02-2012, 02:32 PM
Registered User
 
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Georgia, USA
Tanner5382

"Do it again on the next verse, and people think you meant it."

~Chet Atkins
__________________
Georgia Bassist Club #9
  #14  
Old 06-02-2012, 03:14 PM
Registered User

playing bass since 2005
 
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: Sheffield
"I eat quavers for breakfast!"
__________________
S.A.S.S #89
  #15  
Old 06-02-2012, 03:52 PM
Registered User
 
Join Date: Aug 2010
"I've outdone anyone you can name — Mozart, Beethoven, Bach, Strauss. Irving Berlin, he wrote 1,001 tunes. I wrote 5,500" - James Brown
  #16  
Old 06-02-2012, 04:18 PM
paparoof's Avatar
Registered User
 
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Minneapolis
Supporting Member
When I was 17 years old, my guitar player and I snuck backstage at a Lonnie Brooks show to meet the band. I chatted up the bass player and got on the subject of becoming a pro and what would I have to do, etc... he told me, and I rattled off a list of excuses why I couldn't devote that kind of time to it: "I gotta... and I gotta... and I gotta...."

He grabbed my chin, pulled my face towards his and said:

"Boy you ain't gotta do nuthin' but stay white and die!"
__________________
Classic Vibe Club #112 | Soundgear Club #151
  #17  
Old 06-02-2012, 05:04 PM
Registered User
 
Join Date: Oct 2011
"Your band is just terrific, that is really what I think.
Oh, by the way, which one's 'Pink?'"
~~~ Pink Floyd "Have a Cigar"

"Just follow the dots and you can't get into trouble."
~~~ Steve Cropper

"Rock journalism is people who can't write interviewing people who can't speak for people who can't read."
~~~ Frank Zappa
__________________
Matt - I Started on Guitar Club #14, Switch-Hitters Club #7, Acoustic Amp Club #336, Fender Jazz Bass Club #935
  #18  
Old 06-02-2012, 05:07 PM
bassteban's Avatar
I want to be HER bicycle
 
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Northern California
Supporting Member
doesn't it show?

EONS ago- a teenage girl, watching me warm up: *Is that hard?*
__________________
Go ahead and swoop
  #19  
Old 06-02-2012, 05:40 PM
RitchS's Avatar
The Ultimate Warrior is a nutcase...
 
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: Auburn California
Supporting Member
Tuning is for professionals and pu$$ys.
__________________
Merely a bass player.
  #20  
Old 06-02-2012, 07:27 PM
Registered User
 
Join Date: Aug 2011
'Music is the space between the notes.' - Claude Debussy
__________________
Peavey Patriot, Yamaha SBV-500 (Red), Yamaha SBV-500 (Yellow), Markbass CMD 121p, M-Audio computer interface Yamaha Bass Club member #337 I Started On Guitar Club #22
Reply


Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

vB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off

Visit TalkBass on Facebook   Download our iOS app   Download our Android app

All times are GMT -6. The time now is 07:18 PM.




© 2012 Talk Music Group Inc. All rights reserved.
Play guitar too? Visit TalkGuitar.com
Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.6.12
Copyright ©2000 - 2013, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.