Go Back   TalkBass Forums > Bass Guitar Forums > Bass Guitar Forums > Bass Humor & Gig Stories [BG]
Register Rules/FAQ/CUP Members List Search Today's Posts Mark Forums Read

Bass Humor & Gig Stories [BG] Bass jokes, musician jokes, gigs gone wrong...


Supporting Membership
Thank You

Latest Supporting Member
Donate to Upgrade Today

Reply
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread
  #21  
Old 06-02-2012, 08:02 PM
Registered User
 
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: 404 / 804 / 202 / 610 / 212
On your way to wonderful you are going to go through a place called all right. When you get to all right, take a good look around, because that may be as far as you ever get.
__________________
Qualified to speak only for myself

Ashbory (Guild/DeArmond/Fender) Club #11
Yamaha BB Club #10

Quote:
Originally Posted by robbotbass
...anybody know how to get a night of your life back?
  #22  
Old 06-02-2012, 08:13 PM
Registered User
 
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Melbourne, Australia
Picks are for pussies.
__________________
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bongolation View Post
"Bass Guitar" is a concept I hate beyond my ability to adequately convey.
  #23  
Old 06-03-2012, 01:18 PM
Registered User
 
Join Date: Apr 2009
"The first thing to do is don't stop. The second thing to do is keep going" - Frank Zappa
  #24  
Old 06-03-2012, 01:29 PM
Registered User
 
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: Baltimore, MD
"If rock n' roll is a crime, then throw my ass in jail!"
Kurt Cobain

Quote:
Originally Posted by 5StringBlues View Post
Boy,all you do is play bass and throw clothes on the floor!



Aunt Jean,1982
Ha, sounds like my mom!
  #25  
Old 06-04-2012, 08:19 AM
Registered User
 
Join Date: Apr 2010
"Everybody thinks you got to wear torn clothes, scratch yourself all over, and not know your ABC's to sing the blues."

B.B. King
  #26  
Old 06-04-2012, 08:26 AM
funkinbottom's Avatar
Every exit is an entry somewhere else
 
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: Northern CA.
Supporting Member
"It's not the notes I play, it's the ones I don't play". Miles
  #27  
Old 06-04-2012, 09:40 AM
Registered User
 
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: manchester nh
You've got to dig it to dig it you dig?

Don't play everything or everytime. Let some things go by. some music is just imagined. what you don't play can be more important than what you do play .

Just cause you're not the drummer doesn't mean that you don't have to keep time.

MONK.....
__________________
Bassist for THE ATLAS COLLAPSE NH bassists#22 GEAR: Ibanez ATK 805E with TWO DNA Dns 4x10 cabs-Eden Wp100 Navigator into QSC 2450.:spit::spit:
  #28  
Old 06-04-2012, 09:55 AM
Registered User
 
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Toronto Canada
I'd be a lot more upset, if I wasn't so heavily sedated.
Spinal Tap

Fishheadjoe
__________________
Yamaha Bass club member 157 - BB1100s, BB605, Aria owner, Yorkville/Traynor member 62, Roscoe LG3000, Pedulla Rapture
  #29  
Old 06-04-2012, 10:02 AM
Registered User
 
Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: Ontario N.Y.
This is probably not a direct quote as I've seen versions related to corporate America and TV Journalism, but it fits well for the music business too.

"The music business is a cruel and shallow money trench, a long plastic hallway where thieves and pimps run free, and good men die like dogs. There's also a negative side."

Hunter S. Thompson
__________________
Chuck

You don't stop playing music because you grow old. You grow old because you stop playing music!
  #30  
Old 06-04-2012, 11:16 AM
Registered User
 
Join Date: Jun 2012
Do I listen to pop music because I'm miserable or am I miserable because I listen to pop music? - John Cusack
__________________
No Talent - Have to scratch and fight for every note.
  #31  
Old 06-04-2012, 11:24 AM
Freight Train's Avatar
Earth-based Alternative Scientist, Sex Researcher
 
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Dallas, Texas
Supporting Member
"My loathings are simple: stupidity, oppression, crime, cruelty, soft music." -- Vladimir Nabokov
__________________
The best bass players have the biggest butts.
"Godzilla is my copilot."
  #32  
Old 06-04-2012, 01:19 PM
CraigTB's Avatar
Registered User
 
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Massachusetts
Supporting Member
"If you want to play fast, practice slow. If you want to play real fast, practice real slow."

Heard this attributed to Charlie Parker, not sure if that's legit or not.
  #33  
Old 06-05-2012, 10:20 AM
Razman's Avatar
Registered User
 
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Orange Park, FL
Supporting Member
A novice practices until he gets it right. A professional practices until he never gets it wrong.

-unknown TB'er's sig.
__________________
Gaddis Tippett Custom 5, Circle K Strings, GK 800RB, Henry the 8x8
SWR Club #185, GK Club #971, FL Bassist Club #254
  #34  
Old 06-05-2012, 10:26 AM
Registered User
 
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Central NY
Music is what feelings sound like.
__________________
Quote:
Originally Posted by JakeAndAirwaves
It's a thumb rest. Serves as a place to rest your thumb.
  #35  
Old 06-05-2012, 10:43 AM
Registered User
 
Join Date: Apr 2009
"It's taken me all my life to learn what not to play." - Dizzy Gillespie

"Notes are expensive... spend them wisely" - BB King
  #36  
Old 06-05-2012, 03:06 PM
Registered User
 
Join Date: Jun 2011
"If you want to make a million dollars in music, start with two million." -JimmyM (I believe)
__________________
My current band: palebluedotband.bandcamp.com
My YouTube channel: youtube.com/user/alcatrazescapee
  #37  
Old 06-05-2012, 03:13 PM
Registered User
 
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Deep in the heart of Texas
"I basically think about my financial situation...I count every, like beat I play every note I play and I figure how many notes I get into the space, you know, out into space, uh for how much I'm getting paid and I am workin' cheap"


"Egg-a-muffin...yeah"
__________________
Thump it!
  #38  
Old 06-05-2012, 03:19 PM
MonetBass's Avatar
My favorite songs were never heard on the radio
 
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Tulsa, OK
Supporting Member
"A repeated fully diminished 7th chord would make an excellent noise for an alarm clock." - Evan Tonsing, my college DB teacher
  #39  
Old 06-05-2012, 03:28 PM
ahc ahc is offline
Registered User
 
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: No. Virginia
"What's the problem, son? Notes are black, spaces are white."
__________________
Quote:
I don't want to talk to you no more, you empty headed animal food trough wiper. I fart in your general direction. Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries.
  #40  
Old 06-05-2012, 03:33 PM
tangentmusic's Avatar
A figment of our exaggeration
 
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Way Out West
Supporting Member
Before the Queen at the Royal Command Performance 1963:

"For this next number, those in the cheap seats, clap. The rest of you can just rattle your jewelry" - John Lennon
__________________
Check out our album on vinyl!: http://braveryofbirds.bandcamp.com/a...e-time-element
Reply


Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

vB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off

Visit TalkBass on Facebook   Download our iOS app   Download our Android app

All times are GMT -6. The time now is 12:24 PM.




© 2012 Talk Music Group Inc. All rights reserved.
Play guitar too? Visit TalkGuitar.com
Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.6.12
Copyright ©2000 - 2013, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.