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03-21-2009, 09:18 AM
| | Registered User | | Join Date: Nov 2008 Location: Dublin, Ireland | | | Musician Jokes
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Title says it all, let's hear your best jokes about musicians (any kind). Here's one to start off.
What do you call some one who likes to hang around with bands?
A drummer |
03-21-2009, 09:37 AM
| | Registered User | | Join Date: Mar 2009 Location: :noitacoL | | | Q. How do you when a drummer's knocking at your door?
A. He speeds up! |
03-21-2009, 09:38 AM
| | Registered User | | Join Date: Dec 2007 Location: New Westminster, BC | | | Q: How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None, they have a machine to do that now
__________________ Quote:
Originally Posted by Dave Bassincus  You COULD play metal with a violin bass, just like you COULD do surgery with a pocket knife. However, neither would be anybody's first choice. | Nihilist Bass Players Club - # Irrelevant
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03-21-2009, 09:41 AM
| | Registered User | | Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: New Orleans, La | | | What's the difference between a frog hopping down the street and a banjo player walking down the street?
The frog might be on his way to a gig.
__________________
Gallien-Krueger Club Member #364
Mediocre Bassists Club Member #117
"Living in fear is just another way of dying before your time." -- DBT
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03-21-2009, 09:42 AM
| | Registered User | | Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Norway | | | Q - Why are so many drummer jokes one liners?
A - So the guitarplayin' lurkers can understand them.
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Yamaha Attitude Club Member Quote:
Originally Posted by fenderphil +1. you never want to 'trade-down'. Its like cheating on your wife or girlfriend with an ugly chick, lol | |
03-21-2009, 09:55 AM
|  | Eat at Joe's | | Join Date: Jan 2009 Location: J-Actionville, NC | | | How does a bassist walk past a bar?
No seriously, how?
__________________ Quote:
Originally Posted by jive1 .....It's sorta like a man complaining that a tampon doesn't fit him. | |
03-21-2009, 10:08 AM
| | Registered User | | Join Date: Dec 2007 Location: New Westminster, BC | | | Q: What's the difference betwen a trampoline and a banjo?
A: You take off your shoes to jump on a trampoline
__________________ Quote:
Originally Posted by Dave Bassincus You COULD play metal with a violin bass, just like you COULD do surgery with a pocket knife. However, neither would be anybody's first choice. | Nihilist Bass Players Club - # Irrelevant
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03-21-2009, 10:10 AM
| | Eat at Joe's | | Join Date: Jan 2009 Location: J-Actionville, NC | | | Q: who has the most annoying guitar tone in history
A: Your drummer
__________________ Quote:
Originally Posted by jive1 .....It's sorta like a man complaining that a tampon doesn't fit him. | |
03-21-2009, 10:11 AM
| | Registered User | | Join Date: Jun 2008 Location: Philadelphia | | | How do you tell a trombone players kids at a playground?
They have trouble with the slide and they can't swing. |
03-21-2009, 10:14 AM
|  | Registered User | | Join Date: Jan 2009 Location: Indianapolis | | | whats the difference between a drummer and a savings bond?
the savings bond eventually matures and is worth something
A guy goes on a trip to India..when he arrives he hear's this incessent drumming....and asks " what is the deal with this drumming?" the reply is "very very bad when drumming stops" (in Indian accent) so for the next 3 days he is not able to sleep and everytime he inquires he gets the same answer..."very bad when drumming stops"...so finally after being sleep deprived the man loses his cool with the front desk worker at the hotel and says " I want to know why its so bad when the drumming stops"...the hotel clerk replies, "becasue when drumming stops, then- bass solo" (or guitar solo if you prefer!) |
03-21-2009, 10:38 AM
| | Registered User | | Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: PA | | | whats the difference between a drum machine and a drummer?
you only have to punch the information into the drum machine once.
__________________
"we are not playing a jazz odessy infront of a festival crowd!"
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03-21-2009, 11:16 AM
|  | Registered User | | Join Date: Aug 2002 Location: La Mesa (San Diego area), Cali | | | My favorite:
Q: What's the difference between a chick singer and a piranaha?
A: Lipstick!
And since I'm a recovering drummer:
Q: What did the drummer get on his IQ test?
A:drool!
Dan K.
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Music is the movement of sound to reach the soul for the education of its virtue. - Plato |
03-21-2009, 11:23 AM
| | Registered User | | Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: Sweden | | | What's the range of a tuba?
- Depends on your throwing arm. |
03-21-2009, 02:08 PM
| | Registered User | | Join Date: Dec 2007 Location: Miami, FL. | | Q- How do you get a guitarist to raise his volume?
A- Ask him to lower it.
Q-How do you get My guitarist to Lower his volume?
A- SOMEONE PLEASSSE 
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"Too Funky in Here" -James Brown
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03-21-2009, 03:36 PM
|  | No need to ask, he's a smooth... Moderator | | Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: West Midlands UK | | Quote:
Originally Posted by brett7276 whats the difference between a drummer and a savings bond?
the savings bond eventually matures and is worth something | Excellent. 
__________________ Quote:
Originally Posted by SBassman | |
03-21-2009, 05:12 PM
| | Registered User | | Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: Los Angeles | | | What's the difference between a bass player and a garbage collector?
There is no difference. They both take a lot of crap from everyone. |
03-21-2009, 05:23 PM
|  | Coffee junkie | | Join Date: Nov 2007 Location: Norway | | | What happened when the bass player locked his keys in the car?
He spent an hour trying to get the drummer out. |
03-21-2009, 05:32 PM
|  | Registered User | | Join Date: Aug 2008 Location: Allen, Tx | | | What is the difference between a Jazz Musician and a Large Pizza?
The large Pizza can feed a family of four. |
03-21-2009, 05:40 PM
| | Registered User | | Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: Madison, WI | | | Old one, but a good one.
A man is walking down the street. As he goes past a bar, he sees someone mercilessly beating a small child.
The man asks, "Sir, why are you beating that child?"
He explains, "Well I'm a bass player. I was about to play a show in this bar, but this little kid turned one of my tuning keys. Now I'm out of tune and I can't play the show."
The man says, "Well certainly that's no reason to beat the poor child."
To which the bass player retorts, "But the little **** won't tell me which one he ****ed with!!!!" |
03-21-2009, 08:03 PM
|  | Registered User | | Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: Indianapolis | | | Q: How do you get a guitar player to turn down?
A: Put a chart in front of him.
__________________
SHIFTE HENRI says "My Fender Bass is the Most"
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