Dude, just leave those hosiers. A guitarist friend of mine ditched a bassist

because the bassist was one lazy ass fat guy. I honestly think that guy is only posing as a bassist as well as other things, just to say he is in a band. Check this out.
Dumb Bass:"I can play anything as long as I have a tab for it."
My drummer:"Can you play Flea's Rare Bass Solo?"
Dumb Bass:"I've never heard of it. But if theres a tab I can play it."
Me and my drummer had loads of fun laughing at that for a couple hours.