"My buddy's a pro bass player..."

[ma4rk]

Should have said: 'sure he can sit in, I'm way better in bed than him so while he's on stage I'll go have my way with his wife/girlfriend cos obviously cutting someone else's lunch is ok with him right?'

[Jared Lash]

Originally Posted by 3tsb

"No ****??? My buddy's a pro proctologist. Can he check your prostate?"

Awesome.

Originally Posted by funkytoe

But, in your case, that "friend's" comments would have pissed me off. I probably would have told him that I would like to meet his bass playing friend at the set break. If the player was cool and had the credentials, I would have stongly considered letting him sit in, even in spite of his dimwit friend. Maybe show him the set list (I assume its a covers gig) for the next set and let him pick a song or two to sit in on. Conversely, if the player is a fool like his "friend", just thank him for coming to your show and wish him luck with his own career.

Karma can be a bitch. Try to build bridges - not burn them to the ground. Just because his friend's a jerk does not mean that its not worth your time to investigate the proposed player and see if there is a possible friendship there.

Great point.

When I was younger and playing in bands that did all (or nearly all) originals I obviously had no one asking to sit in. But as I got older and played in cover bands more often I was surprised at how often it happens. Not as often as drunk women wanting to sing, but often enough.

Personally, when doing cover band stuff I consider myself an entertainer hired by the venue rather than as some sort of artist so I go out of my way to not offensive to patrons, even if they are being completely disrespectful to me.

So honestly, if I were in that situation I probably would have said something like, "Hey, if I let every player that was better than me fill in for a few songs, I'd never get to play at my own gigs!" I don't have any insecurities about my playing, but it's much easier to be self-deprecating than get in a pissing match with some random guy about who plays bass better.

Then I'd tell the "pro bassist" that if he wanted to have a beer and talk after the gig to stick around. Since he wasn't the one being a douche to you there's no reason to be a douche to him and again it's always good to leave the door open to new contacts. Worst case scenario he's a blowhard like his friend but who cares? Rock the rest of the gig and have fun.

[JWP]

A "pro" would know better than to ask or even to allow his buddy to ask...unless of course
he is a professional ass....

[bassgod0dmw]

I would just laugh and say no. Plain and simple.

[pocketgroove]

"Well, it's policy not to allow sit-ins, but we've got a suggestion box right over there."

*points to group of burly bikers*

"Just go over there and tell them you've got a suggestion, and maybe we'll be able to work something out next time."

[joebar]

i don`t think there is anything to say in this circumstance; i wouldn`t take the bait.
i would walk away, especially if i thought they had too much booze.
and if the guy was a pro, he should have been embarassed by his pal and then apologized to you and bought YOU a drink.
but of course in the heat of the moment, it is hard to know just what to do.

[Floyd Eye]

Smile and say, "No, I'm sorry".

Regardless of what other people's definition of "Pro" is, you are on a paying gig and you should act professionally, so I would avoid smart ass replies. A simple no is good enough.

[mboogiemanusa]

Originally Posted by D.A.R.K.

How about "well, if I let him sit in, then i'd be missing out on the experience I need to be a pro like him. You probably understand, being a manager".
There are many ways to say fu.

+1 ..what is a "pro".....it's just an amateur that became good.

[Herrick]

Originally Posted by bassbully

Kids Just tell him No and you might check him out sometime if you are not out gigging.

This.

And yes...where is the rest of the story from the OP?

[Jazzdogg]

Originally Posted by dukeisdog

Hey now, I'm only 19 and unfortunately still in that scene, but there's nothing like getting on a bill with your favourite touring band!

You're only young once; grab the bull by the horns and enjoy the ride!

[Munjibunga]

"Sorry man, our insurance wouldn't cover it."

[EasyMurder]

Feeling Mean/smart alec-ish?
*chuckle* "A pro bass player? I think you must be mistaken. I'm pretty sure you ment a pro *insert preferred insult*, and so are you."
Walk away.

Avoid Trouble
"Nah, sorry man, think I'll pass..."

[lowfreq33]

"Listen man, I don't come to your job and try to take over the fry station..."

[walterw]

a key point is that he was approached in the middle of the set; for anything more than a request (usually ignored) or a dedication (usually accommodated), the guy would get a smile and a "sorry, can't really talk now, playing music" shrug.

[davidjackson]

Originally Posted by bassmatt4792

Had a gig last night at a great little bar in Watertown, NY. It's 1:00am, we're about 1/3 of the way into our last set. I finish playing 'Basketcase' by Green Day (a song I feel as though I do well on; I play it with a pick and add a bunch of fast fills into it). A dude ad his friend seem to be staring at me the whole time (odd, because our guitarist is a showboat). They motion to me to come over and chat. The guy says "hey man, my buddy's a pro bass player; can he sit in with you guys? He knows all the songs better than you." My questions-

What the **** do I say to someone like that? I don't want to be super arrogant because we're trying to be a professional group and keep people around.

What does 'pro bass player' mean to you? Technically, I'm a pro, right? I got the gig and am being paid to play bass in a contractual agreement with the bar...

How do you feel when a 'pro bass player' is watching you like a hawk?

Would you say 'no' on the basis of the guy possibly being a horrible player, or do you just not like strangers on your gear?

Sorry if this is a stupid post, I'm only 20 and I've been playing out in bars for 9 months. It's the first time I've dealt with this. And please no arrogant answers like 'just say no and kept playing'. I'm interested in what everybody has to say.

Thanks!
Matt

The only response to something like that is to laugh. No serious musician of any kind anywhere in the world would try and muscle in on somebody else's gig like that. Treat it like the guy is joking even if you know he isn't. It is amazing how effective refusing to acknowledge that a question like that is serious can be.

On the more general point I often spot bass players in the audience watching my every move. To be honest, I tend to raise my game a bit when that happens so it doesn't bother me.

The other thing you have to remember is that when you are in the audience you probably watch the bass player too but you don't realise a) that he is aware of you watching and b) that you are probably one of 3 or 4 others who are staring at his fingers!

Just something to get used to. Lead guitarists get it more than we do so maybe ask them for tips if it bothers you.

PS: Hell will freeze over before I hand a stranger one of my basses...

[davidjackson]

Originally Posted by Jared Lash

So honestly, if I were in that situation I probably would have said something like, "Hey, if I let every player that was better than me fill in for a few songs, I'd never get to play at my own gigs!" I don't have any insecurities about my playing, but it's much easier to be self-deprecating than get in a pissing match with some random guy about who plays bass better.

This is excellent advice. Love it.

[CodyLX450]

I just say, "Sorry man, I just started playing this week. It doesn't help that I'm playing a right handed bass and I'm left handed."

It also helps to cry a little.

[LLendrum]

I don't know if someone already got this comeback but mine would have been:

"If he's a pro then shouldn't he be playing a gig right now, not just watching one?"

[SevenJacks]

Originally Posted by lowfreq33

"Listen man, I don't come to your job and try to take over the fry station..."

BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

[hgiles]

Originally Posted by Road-Dog

A real "pro" that has been around and plays for a living would understand that it is your gig. He also is way past the ego of needing to cut into another musicians set and try to show him up. Sounds like a load of bunk and I hope you politely said no thanks. No sense burning any bridges with folks, you never know who is actually in the audience and where they may fall into your life later.

^- This.