My Cruise Ship Experience

[Snarf]

This was requested a while back when I posted here asking people for recommendations on music stores in Tallinn, Estonia. Well, here it is, about nine months late. I originally started writing this as a response to an old cruise ship thread that got bumped, so I read the OP and realized that my response would no longer be relevant. So here it is, greatly expanded and in its own shiny thread.



I did a three month contract on HAL's Eurodam ship while it was doing the Baltic run. I loved the ports. I got to see some amazing places. Full list: Dover, Edinburgh, Kirkwall, Norwegian fjords, Stockholm, Helsinki, Tallinn (my FAVORITE), Copenhagen, Amsterdam, Reykjavik, the Faroe Islands, Qaqortoq (Greenland), Newfoundland, and others I can't remember. I didn't get my seaman's book in time to get off in Russia.

But I HATED the gig itself. I played in the ballroom dance trio. As far as gigs go, it was actually a ton of work. We played 5 hours a night, every single night. You might think "Oh that's so easy, playing 5 hours a night!" No, it's not. A normal gig like that on land is usually around 3 hours. 5 hours of exacting stylistic repetition is grating on the nerves. 90 days straight . . . . it's a marathon.

The bandleader (piano) was an old pro who worked on land most of the time but did ships when work was scarce. He knew thousands of tunes (sounds like exaggeration, but it's not) right off the top of his head, any key, didn't matter. We had the HAL books and we read from that half the time. We tried to avoid those books though because the charts really were terrible. Like, disastrously awful arrangements. So half the time, the piano player was playing and giving me chord changes with his hands (3 fingers up for A, 2 down for Eb, etc). He also compiled a book of chord changes he wrote down in a binder full of old ship schedules. He could be a REAL hardass. Five hours is a long gig, and if I missed a to coda, he would pound on the keys and flash me dirty looks to make it known he wasn't pleased. He could be incredibly passive aggressive on the bandstand, and some nights were a real nightmare. All told though, he was a good guy and didn't carry over his temper flares after the gig. His time and knowledge of styles were incredible, and at the end of the night when we would play some bebop if there were no dancers, he could rip some great lines. He could also read anything you put in front of him.

For the last cruise, which was a transatlantic one, we got a new bandleader. This guy was the nicest guy you could ever meet, and a very successful and wealthy piano player. For years he had a fantastic gig that paid him a lot. So he did cruises for fun on a short term basis, filling in if someone had to bail from a contract early.

This guy was the exact opposite of the first bandleader. He could not read a note. He couldn't really improvise over changes he hadn't practiced for a long time. So we played the same ~100+ tunes every night, poorly because his time was bad. Also, he was the perfect stereotype of a bad, hammy lounge singer. Overdone, crappy vocals, and the audience banter was cringe-worthy. Not only that, but he couldn't play dance styles . . . IN A DANCE TRIO. He'd call some kind of latin tune, and the drummer and myself would play the style perfectly, but he played everything the same, just played a bunch of tinkly crap in the high register. He wouldn't know a montuno if it came up and took a dump in his face. On the HAL charts, he would frequently get lost. He'd even skip lines in his bad originals that he brought. Every break, I went to the OB for a shot of Jim Beam to get through the night on that cruise.

So that was my musical experience on the ship. Once you get used to it, it's mindless repetition. I nearly fell asleep while playing a few times. That's why musicians on cruise ships look like they want to die.

Sometimes on breaks I would go watch the main band. They had a couple players who were really good at other things. The keys player was a phenomenal classical pianist. She was stuck doing incidental string parts. The piano player was a great Broadway style player. The drummer was a very good jazz drummer, but didn't really know how to play a heavy groove. It sounded very forced for him. The guitarist and bassist were both pretty bad players. The sax player (who was the band leader) was pretty poor.

When the main band did the staged shows, they never played live. They were synching to tracks, which most of the time were bad midi tracks. So apart from 2-hour dance sets, short deck sets, and the Broadway review, they didn't play.


While not playing on your gig, you have to deal with some real crap living on a ship. Naturally, you'll be sharing a cabin. There isn't enough room for both room mates to stand at the same time in a typical cabin. It's like living in a closet that goes up and down in bad weather.

Crew members, especially at the musician level, aren't allowed to do much. Most of the time I hung out in my cabin whiling the hours away playing video games. I played a lot of Postal 2 to vent my frustrations. I also played a lot of RPGs because they're very long games and I wouldn't run out of them too quick.

Then you have to deal with other people. Every night you've got to deal with rowdy Russians or gay dancers having massive parties in their cabins. The dancers you can talk to, the Russians will just get pissed off at you. Then you have to call security.

I went to drink at the OB (officer's bar) every night. The OB was basically where the non-Asian crew members went. If there were officers there, it would always be super loud with obnoxious eurotrash dance music playing. Most of the time it was more chill. I could just go there, have a couple beers, wish I wasn't on the ship, and go back down to my cabin to sleep. Alcohol is very cheap for crew members, around $0.85 for a beer and $1.00 for a shot. They keep it cheap because it's the only way crew members wouldn't mutiny and/or kill themselves and each other.

There is a lot of interpersonal drama that goes on on a ship. Basically, if you LOVED high school cliques and he-said-she-said and he/she slept with him/her, you're going to love ships. If you're a regular human being . . . . not so much.


In conclusion, ships are a mixed bag. At my age, they pay ok, especially given I'm STILL living at home trying to find a job to tide me over til I start grad school. Seeing Europe was fantastic, Scotland especially because I'm a professional piper as well. But knowing what I know now about the gig itself and the living conditions you have to endure, I wouldn't do it again. Hopefully future ship contractors can search this forum and find this post, and hopefully find some part of it useful.

[dogofgod]

Great post. Thank you.

[Smokin' Toaster]

OUCH. That's a fantasy busted wide open. I always thought that would be a cool gig. Hope you made enough cash to make it worth the suffering.

[pkmoor]

Thanks for the write-up. Always wondered what one would be like.

[BagelBruin]

One of those things you only do once I guess!

[Ubersheist]

Good info. I'm really considering the cruise ship route, so any info and opinions are GREATLY considered.

Here's a couple of others who have made videos that I found pretty informative.
This drummer (sounds like a killer drummer) made a couple of videos detailing life on a cruise ship: YouTube - Life As A Cruise Ship Musician - It was pretty funny how he said "after that, I'm off to drink myself to death." I assume he means the OB.

There's a kid (or at least he's a kid to me) made a series of pseudo video diary entries:

YouTube - Life on the Cruise Ship #1 - also seems like a really good player, although probably a bit of a musical snob...

[Ubersheist]

Here's another good thread from here:

Cruise Ship Bass Playing / Bassists

Every time I get irritated with the things that I don't like on this board, I remember that there's some really good, valuable info to be found on it, like that thread above.

[Snarf]

Originally Posted by Ubersheist

Good info. I'm really considering the cruise ship route, so any info and opinions are GREATLY considered.

Here's a couple of others who have made videos that I found pretty informative.
This drummer (sounds like a killer drummer) made a couple of videos detailing life on a cruise ship: YouTube - Life As A Cruise Ship Musician - It was pretty funny how he said "after that, I'm off to drink myself to death." I assume he means the OB.

There's a kid (or at least he's a kid to me) made a series of pseudo video diary entries:

YouTube - Life on the Cruise Ship #1 - also seems like a really good player, although probably a bit of a musical snob...

I remember seeing another video by the same guy in the first video, he worked on the same ship I did, because it was the same OB in the video.

[pasta4lnch]

interesting - always been curious. having went on my first cruise w/ my wife a few months ago . . . I'm significantly less interested to say the least

[Snarf]

Just wanted to add something. Picture this: every morning you wake up (probably hung over), you walk out the door of your cabin, you turn the corner, and all you see is an endless hallway painted in the brightest white with blue floors. It's like waking up in an industrial nightmare.

Also, the ventilation systems in the lower parts of the ship (where you would be living) are really bad, at least they were on my ship, which is one of the newer ships out there (2008). Every morning you would wake up to large dust particles sprinkled on your laptop and desk and whatnot. The worst part is that that stuff gets in your lungs. From about the second week all the way to the end of my contract, my lungs were thoroughly irritated and I felt like I was sick the whole time, with a nasty cough.

[knumbskull]

wow. Very interesting post, thanks!

perhaps a sticky candidate? Wait, that just sounds rude...

[Rebop]

This was exactly my experience playing on a cruise ship except I was with a 17 piece big band and everyone in the band was AT LEAST 50 years older than me at the time. It was a weird scene. Some of them were nice but the majority were just cranky old timers.

The ship I was on was a real POS too (it was probably 20 years old or more at the time). Everytime it went into reverse I thought it would rattle apart and was pretty sure a ceiling tile was going to crack me in the head. This was before xbox and playstation so the only thing to do was drink, practice or watch the fat couple from Indiana bounce off the walls of the hallways in rough seas.

The worst part was sharing the closet sized room though.

[pasta4lnch]

Originally Posted by Snarf

Also, the ventilation systems in the lower parts of the ship (where you would be living) are really bad, at least they were on my ship, which is one of the newer ships out there (2008). Every morning you would wake up to large dust particles sprinkled on your laptop and desk and whatnot. The worst part is that that stuff gets in your lungs. From about the second week all the way to the end of my contract, my lungs were thoroughly irritated and I felt like I was sick the whole time, with a nasty cough.

yikes - that sounds awful . . .

[Richland123]

Two of my very good friends, who are a married couple, are working on a cruise ship right now and do long tours a few times a year. He is a more than excellent guitarist and she is a fantastic singer/rhythm guitarist. They used to perform full time in Las Vegas until things started to dry up and they went the cruise ship circuit. They, too, have similar stories of all the hard work involved and dealing with all the other nonsense and the fact that musicians are expected to be part of the ship's crew, even during emergencies. They would love to get away from it but there is not enough full time work locally for them to make a living.

[willgroove2]

For me working the Cruise circuit several years ago the worst thing was the small shared room,I was a young guy with no responsibility so it was cool for awhile but not what I would want to do now

[totallyfrozen]

Originally Posted by Snarf

...Alcohol is very cheap for crew members, around $0.85 for a beer and $1.00 for a shot. They keep it cheap because it's the only way crew members wouldn't mutiny and/or kill themselves and each other...

Seems like there'd be alot of sleeping around going on too. I'm surprised that you didn't sleep around alot on the ship (or at least admit it on TB)

[robwren]

Stuff like the OP describes does happen a lot on some lines and ships, but others can be a lot cooler than that. I worked for Carnival (granted it was twenty years ago) and, while it was one of the lower paying gigs, was also one of the easiest and least restrictive. You had almost full run of the ship (except casinos and discos), and the band was all younger guys (20s and 30s). I was able to get my two best friends on the band when spots came available, and met some great people and musicians (granted, a few jerks and some crappy players, but that's pretty much life.) Even met my (then future) wife, and we've been happily together since.

Actually went on a Carnival ship as a passenger last year, and met some of the musicians. Didn't seem like too much had changed in 20 years.

[srxplayer]

I was on a HAL cruise in December 2003. The ship was the Ryndam. I remember watching the the musicians play on deck and in a club on the ship. They were actually pretty good, did a lot of dance covers. I thought it looked like it would be a pretty good gig...

After the cruise I spoke to a friend of mine who is pretty much a professional guitar player. I say "pretty much" because he doesn't always seem to be working and does other non-music related work to fill in the gaps. I asked him if he ever looked into the cruise ship stuff and he told me he had done a similar gig for Carnival several years before. He said it was terrible. They were treated poorly and he will never do any cruise ship gig again.

[Sleeq]

Well I went on a cruise once... the reggae band who plays in the daytime at the pool are the ones who have fun... get to see chicks in bikinis... I'm sure these guys met a lot of women.

Good story

[dogofgod]

I agree, the reggae band makes it look like life is a breeze.