No stands

BBMS · #1 10-23-2009, 10:41 PM

I just read this ad in a Craigslist:
If you are a seasoned bass player you will like this 3 pc. rock/blues outfit and the people around it, no egos just real class people. There aren't any bosses and rules and regulations given out over here. We just don't want to play with any druggies or drunks or have any music stands on our stage because we are not the Phil Harmonics, nor are we amatures that can't remember our talent.
We need a whole note player with a pro fat in tune sound.
Fender Prec./Jazz/ 4/10 Ampegish/4 string has always been the best, but, if you have 5 strings and it sounds like you are only playing 4 then that will be fine as long as you don't have to have a music stand to survive on stage.
If you can't remember the deal and you have to depend on a music stand just forget about this ad and look elsewhere.
We need a good man to hold the low end down with whole notes without a music stand.
Think Dusty, Leon, Billy Cox, Banner, and so on.
If you want to funk a little we can get you something to do on a few tunes every now and then as long as you don't want a music stand.
We have gigs in the works and more to come if we can get the right bass man. If you are hopping around and playing with everybody forget it, we have had that enough with a few that couldn't remember how to play anybodies songs.
We are not just fooling around, this is show business,we play rare popular tunes that people want to hear without music stands.
Later on we may bring in another picker that I know who plays very well but for now we are keeping it 3 pc for better money and easy tightness.
You don't need to sing. You don't need to have a Pa. We just need a whole note bass player without a music stand.
If you play lead guitar chances are, you are not a real bass player, so don't even try with this trio.We want a player that is a life long bass player first. A hobbyist lead don't matter thats your business.
If you are a real solid bass player this could be what you are looking for.
If you can sing very well and be on key then of course we would like for you to do some singing as long as you don't need a music stand to read your lyrics while you are trying to sing.
Hit me back if you are that one good man.

wittynamehere · #2 10-23-2009, 10:45 PM

I think they might not like music stands, just a guess though.

M0ses · #3 10-23-2009, 10:46 PM

I think........................that they don't want..................................music stands.........

dannster · #4 10-23-2009, 11:00 PM

How awful it would be to only ever play whole notes. That's the real "HUH?" here. I'm pretty sure Dusty Hill could be accused of a 1/4 note or two once in a while.

kb9wyz · #5 10-23-2009, 11:01 PM

Who is the singer? Monk?

Obe · #6 10-23-2009, 11:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kb9wyz

Who is the singer? Monk?

musicelectronix · #7 10-23-2009, 11:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kb9wyz

Who is the singer? Monk?

took me a good 5-6 seconds to get the joke

For some reason, my mind first went to Buddhist monks in orange robes..

TimWilson · #8 10-23-2009, 11:33 PM

Wouldn't it be great fun, though, just to show up at their audition with a BIG music stand?

wittynamehere · #9 10-24-2009, 12:39 AM

Maybe you could get around the "no stands" clause by rigging up some sort of bracket that clips on to the headstock goes straight forward a foot, then 3 feet back towards the bridge, then makes a right turn up to face level and ends in a lyre like you would clip marching band music to. then you could have a 3 inch thick book of sheet music flopping around, like a deranged pigeon on crack, oh and wear some sort of magnification goggles, and maybe if you wore a clip-on flashlight on your head to illuminate it, you'd be totally set.

You'd be so cool the chicks would be lining up, saying "wow, I never knew whole notes could be so sexy"

Rob Lewis · #10 10-24-2009, 03:05 AM

Must have had a negative experience with a stand during childhood. Bless 'im...

uglymutt · #11 10-24-2009, 03:33 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by wittynamehere

Maybe you could get around the "no stands" clause by rigging up some sort of bracket that clips on to the headstock goes straight forward a foot, then 3 feet back towards the bridge, then makes a right turn up to face level and ends in a lyre like you would clip marching band music to. then you could have a 3 inch thick book of sheet music flopping around, like a deranged pigeon on crack, oh and wear some sort of magnification goggles, and maybe if you wore a clip-on flashlight on your head to illuminate it, you'd be totally set.

You'd be so cool the chicks would be lining up, saying "wow, I never knew whole notes could be so sexy"

QUICK START INVENTING!
It could revolutionise music, either that or use a music stand...

AnchorHoy · #12 10-24-2009, 04:43 AM

Quote:

we play rare popular tunes

Excellent!!!

Do you guys know Stand by Sly & The Family Stone?

Nashrakh · #13 10-24-2009, 07:29 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by dannster

I'm pretty sure Dusty Hill could be accused of a 1/4 note or two once in a while.

+1, Billie Cox isn't a whole-note-only player, too. Actually, he likes them lines busy, think Power of Love off Band of Gypsys.

These guys totally have a music stand trauma lol

ChrisB2 · #14 10-24-2009, 07:48 AM

So it sounds like they've been auditioning/playing with guys who need a stand to remember whole root notes without lyrics?

Wow. No wonder they're jaded.

MrTAteMyBalls · #15 10-24-2009, 08:13 AM

hehehehehe.....this had me lolling.

i don't know why, but this thread reminded me of the scene in the jerk, where steve martin thinks the shooter is trying to shoot the cans. "he hates these cans...more cans!!"

JohnMCA72 · #16 10-24-2009, 12:15 PM

Come on, cut 'em some slack! If all they want is whole notes on the root, nobody should ever even need a music stand to play that! Even if every song is in a different key - there's only 12 of them, after all!

JM

J. Crawford · #17 10-24-2009, 12:36 PM

I would love to go, but make a t-shirt with a music stand on it.

That would be funny.

guitfiddle0409 · #18 10-24-2009, 12:49 PM

What is a "whole note player", somebody who only plays whole notes?

And for what's is worth, why would any normal person go to a website that is primarily composed of criminals, sickos, whores, pimps, wackos, pranksters, and people who are trying to sell ugly old furniture?

Lazylion · #19 10-24-2009, 02:22 PM

I bet they're the type who routinely goof up the lyrics/chord patterns, and then brag about how they never use cheat sheets.

I'd avoid them if I were you.

kcole4001 · #20 10-24-2009, 04:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BBMS

we play rare popular tunes that people want to hear without music stands.
.

"Great tune, what does it sound like without the music stand?
Oh yeah, and play some o' those common unpopular songs, that's right, without music stands."

Nutjobs!