We played a swanky Hotel party in downtown Chicago for NYE and I made it memorable in not so great ways. It's a little long, but hey, you will enjoy it!
First set goes really well. A much younger crowd compared to last year's show and they were EATING UP EVERYTHING we played! Woo hoo! Before we start the second set, I made my way onto the stage and I see some drunk girl playing with my microphone. She had taken it out of the stand and was "practicing" her karaoke moves. Now, I don't mind when women come up and dance with us - they can for one song; then they have to get off. But this girl was on stage before ANY of us had made it back up there. Plus, she had a drink in her hands and I was just waiting for her to splash my guitarist's pedal board....so I politely tell her that she can not be on stage at this point and she needs to leave my microphone alone. She goes on to say how much she loves to sing and how much our band will benefit with it. She also gave me that "look" like: "you are so cute" right after I told her to get off. Great, like I need a drunk girl to like me right now with my girlfriend about 10 feet away... So I told her that when we start again, she can sing with us. I put the mic back and start to tune one of my basses. She jumps on stage again and I am not sure what she did. But I noticed she spun the mic stand around and proceeded to do the same thing on the floor below. I take it back and (a little angrier this time) tell her not to do that. I go to tune my second bass and out of the corner of my eye, she DOES IT AGAIN. I finish tuning and pull the mic back. All while looking quite pissed and shouting at her even more angrily. The mic was fully set up now and she jumps back up. This time, I get right in her ear and YELL: GET THE **** OFF OF THE STAGE! No dice. She argues with me a little more, then I YELLED AGAIN into her ear.
! I was on the verge of losing it. She still does not get it and walks back to the mic and spills a portion of her drink on the mic stand, my setlist and nearly gets my buddy's pedl board. I reached the boiling point.... I put my hands on her lower back and turned her body to face the edge of the stage. (Keep in mind I still have my big old 5 string Spector on my shoulders). I then proceed to "stiff arm" her with my left hand about 3 feet forward to the stage edge and her friends pulled her off. I had never dealt with someone so dumb and drunk in my life. Usually, even the drunk people can figure out when they are not wanted at a certain point, but this girl was on another planet.
Second set begins, second song in.... her friends are giving me "you are number one salute" and I am feeling really terrible. I was also worried this girl had a boyfriend and/or her friends were going to beat me up during the show. Then it got crazier.... The drunk girl jumps back up, my singer and my other guitarist both let her sing on Blink 182's "All The Small Things". Wonderful. BUT, at least she was away from me. The song ends, and she refuses to leave the stage. My singer asks here twice - she does not budge. Now he was calmer than I was. So he asked my friend Jackie to get a security guard. About two minutes later, security pulled her off the stage. And then, oh yes, she got back up again. This time she was just dancing then tried to get the mic. Three security guards came by and I pointed at her - she was gone for good this time. Yipee.
2011 Begins! Yes! New Years kiss with my girlfriend and off to play one more song "Fight for Your Right" (Beastie Boys). Unfortunately, I started the song on the wrong note and did not realize it was me. The first note should have been Ab and I played Db. I continued to play everything a 4th up from everyone else and we never truly recovered during the song. I was so perplexed on stage that I forgot to shout my lines, and I had no clue to what I was playing nor the did my guitarists. It should have been an easy fix. It's just straight 8th notes of Ab, Eb, and a few Db's in there. Those easy songs are sometimes the hardest to fix live and I was in "robot" mode, what can I say? I don't think many people in the audience noticed, the band however, did.
So I felt bad for "stiff-arming a girl" off the stage and for killing the last song of the set. I killed 2010 and 2011 went off with a bang. Lovely.
Now for the best part. After the show, I talked to drunk girl's friends and apologized about my actions and they did not mind it so much. They said she was a handful for them and she was WAYYY too drunk that night. About an hour later, those friends along with drunk girl, are sitting on the stage. I then apologize to drunk girl - BUT this took me by surprise. She said that I was awesome and not the real jerk; my singer was! Her friends reminded her that I "pushed" her off the stage and since she was so angry at my singer for not letting her sing longer, she assumed he did it! What?
So, now I have no idea what to do and she still thinks I am the coolest one in the band. My singer walks over.... drunk girl and her friends start laying into him about letting drunk girl sing more in our band. "Your band would benefit so much from a female singer. Why would you deny that opportunity? She sang so well and the only thing you can do is sing - you can't play an instrument. You are way too selfish and you should share your mic with the audience and make a real connection". Stunned!
My singer and I had a great laugh about it when they left! I also will be made fun of incessantly about this entire event for most of 2011 and the rest of my life.
I am not advocating violence against women, but with no security around and my gear in jeopardy, I definitely lost my cool. Think of it this way, the bass player is Mother Bear and her cubs are the bass gear. When "Mother Bear" is not around to guard her "cubs", and someone you don't know gets near your "cubs" wouldn't you get defensive?
I do have a picture of this and it will be posted soon! Happy New Year!
