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12-10-2011, 12:01 PM
| | Registered User | | Join Date: May 2010 Location: Fairfield Iowa | | | oh yeah groupie for hire.
Sign in to disble this ad
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12-10-2011, 12:04 PM
| | Registered User | | Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: Winnipeg, MB | | Quote:
Originally Posted by Fleegetastic  | For when it's inevitably removed: Quote:
Female seeking to be band groupie. Just turned 19 and I'm looking to get my ROCK on. Hire me and I will stalk the **** out of your band! Turn up at every gig and make it look like I genuinely adore you.
I promise to wear super tight, revealing clothing and super high heels. I'm also cultured enough to know that you dance to the BASS, so I'm totally going to have to blow the bass player at some point, even though I know they're usually the fat pigs of the band.
Let me manage your Facebook page and Myspace page. I will hit the streets and sing your praises! Even if you look and sound like crap, I will make you look hotter!
If all this sounds good, wait, there's more! I also play the tambourine like a mother****ing riot! I can provide background percussion or whatever you need to fill out your sound.
All this talent doesn't come cheap! $200 a week is my starting rate, and it goes up based upon how bad your band is, or how ugly your bassist is (since I'm going to have to blow him at some point).
My name is Vanessa and I'm ready to work!
Here's my picture so you get an idea of what you are hiring:
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12-10-2011, 12:05 PM
|  | Jinkies! | | Join Date: Jan 2010 Location: PHL/NYC | | | HA HA HA HA!!!
__________________
~ In A Dark Place ~
#00 Bass Players In Recovery Club
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12-10-2011, 12:09 PM
|  | Robzilla | | Join Date: Apr 2009 Location: Casper Wyoming USA | | | |
12-10-2011, 12:09 PM
|  | that video LIES | | Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: Northern California | | A girl who looks like that and still has to sell it that hard likely has a penis- not that there's anything inherently wrong w/that. 
__________________ Quote:
Originally Posted by Fat Albert He who throws mud only loses ground. | |
12-10-2011, 01:00 PM
|  | Expendable | | Join Date: Jul 2009 Location: Shreveport, Louisiana | | This is how Brokencyde got to where they are. Only they don't have a bassist, so their rate was probably cheaper! 
__________________ Quote: |
Originally Posted by hover Sorry, some people say "ooh, how courageous..." I say "stop and hose yourself off and lose with dignity". | Quote: |
Originally Posted by Funky Ghost No argument on the internet has ever been won. They've just been demolished by a mod. | |
12-10-2011, 01:08 PM
| | Registered User | | Join Date: Dec 2010 Location: Horten,Norway | | | Bwahahahahahahahahahahahahah!!!
Classic...
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My spoon is too big.
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12-10-2011, 01:52 PM
|  | Registered User | | Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: Philadelphia 'burbs | | | amazing |
12-10-2011, 01:55 PM
| | Registered User
Endorsing Artist: Genz Benz Amplification | | Join Date: Jan 2010 Location: Nashville | | | I'm sure this was posted by either a jilted boyfriend or a jealous girl. |
12-10-2011, 03:14 PM
| | | | This was posted by a guitarist who caught his girlfriend "servicing" the bassist in his band. GF revenge for sure! |
12-10-2011, 03:20 PM
|  | Thunder-Bringer...annnnd Brony | | Join Date: Jul 2010 Location: Houston, TX | | Quote:
Originally Posted by Oneirogenic This was posted by a guitarist who caught his girlfriend "servicing" the bassist in his band. GF revenge for sure! | Oh yeah 
Once the ladies sit on one of our cabs while we play...game over
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Brony Bassist Club #4 Quote:
Originally Posted by staindbass playing a gig in front of a massive amp is awesome, i call it a bass bath. | |
12-10-2011, 03:24 PM
| | Registered User | | Join Date: May 2010 Location: Drachten, the Netherlands | | Quote:
Originally Posted by bassteban A girl who looks like that and still has to sell it that hard likely has a penis- not that there's anything inherently wrong w/that. | Yes, I DO think that is wrong. 
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Dutch Bassists Club #1
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12-10-2011, 03:26 PM
| | Registered User | | Join Date: Sep 2009 Location: Eastern Wisconsin | | | There ain't no room for a penis in those pants (at least, not while they're on). I'm going with the angry boyfriend theory.
Tough to blame the bassist who made him angry, though.
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Lefty Union #203, SX Club Member Quote: |
Originally Posted by SurferJoe46 Bass tone isn't rocket surgery anyway. | |
12-10-2011, 03:36 PM
| | Registered User | | Join Date: Jan 2009 Location: Hunt. Co., New Jersey | | Quote:
Originally Posted by bassteban A girl who looks like that and still has to sell it that hard likely has a penis- not that there's anything inherently wrong w/that. | speak for yourself
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I like Heavy Coffee table basses, Ceramic Tens, and big transformers. So shoot me.
Official Wood Matters Club Member #1
Spector Club # 206
Warwick Club # ??
Genz Benz Club # 287
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12-10-2011, 08:55 PM
| | Registered User | | Join Date: Jun 2002 Location: Tejas | | Quote:
Originally Posted by bassteban A girl who looks like that and still has to sell it that hard likely has a penis- not that there's anything inherently wrong w/that. | Lady Gaga???  |
12-10-2011, 09:05 PM
| | that video LIES | | Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: Northern California | | Clarification: The word *Natural* will very likely occur in any fairly deep purge of my computer. I poke fun at the diff's between various mindsets & outlooks but do NOT mean to attempt to change anyone's attitude one way or the other. I ain't NO better than NO one.
Edit: BTW: I am trying not to, but kinda like- LG sorry
__________________ Quote:
Originally Posted by Fat Albert He who throws mud only loses ground. | |
12-10-2011, 11:00 PM
| | Registered User | | Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: PM me for this ;) | | Quote:
Originally Posted by bassteban I ain't NO better than NO one. | ^ So you are better then someone???
English isn't a hard language to learn, perhaps try it some day.
*ANYWAY*
LOL, from Vancouver no less.
$200/week? thats cute.
I find it funny that regardless of influence or genre shes willing to adore whatever music your group plays. All for the piddly sum of $200/week.
I think I'd be a bit interested to see how little money she'd want to switch political parties she'd vote for.
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Being a lefty is like being a Diabetic kid at a Candy store, so much marvelous things, but you can't touch any of it. - I play a lefty Conklin GT7 7 string, and a F-bass Lefty BN5
Last edited by Graham Monette : 12-10-2011 at 11:07 PM.
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12-10-2011, 11:04 PM
| | Registered User | | Join Date: Feb 2011 Location: Cincinnati | | | good lord. don't you realize most musicians barely make $200 a week? hahaha. |
12-10-2011, 11:10 PM
|  | Supporting Member | | | | | Hahaha hilarious!
__________________ Quote:
Originally Posted by onosson A pocket is just a groove in your pants! | Georgia Bassist #39
Praise and Worship Bassist #1016
Lefty who plays Right-handed #220
Bassist with a beard #178
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12-10-2011, 11:16 PM
| | Registered User
Endorsing Artist: Genz Benz Amplification | | Join Date: Jan 2010 Location: Nashville | | | $200 a week, that's $50 each split 4 ways, $40 each split 5 ways. I guess it depends on how many hours a week she wants to work. | | Thread Tools | Search this Thread | | | | 
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