Is it okay if I tell a joke?

[fretlessman71]

Originally Posted by Psychotic_Hell

Because this is about Jokes, i shall tell one from the Stu Hamm clinic.

"Whats the difference between a Jazz bass player and a Large Pizza?
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....
.....
....
...
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The large Pizza can feed a family of 4"

Plus it usually shows up on time.

[Captain 145]

How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb?
.
.
.
.
3. 1 to actually change it and 2 to watch and say how Neil Peart would have done it better.

[Matt Till]

Originally Posted by NJL

Dear Abby...
I think my wife is cheating on me. I am a working musician and, as
you would expect, travel a lot. I have been noticing strange things
happening when I get home. Her mobile phone rings and she steps
outside to answer it or she says, "I'll call you back later". When I ask
her who called she gets evasive.
Sometimes she goes out with friends but comes home late, getting
dropped off around the corner and walking the rest of the way. I once
picked up the extension while she was on the phone and she got very angry.

A buddy of mine plays guitar in a band. He told me that my wife and
some guy have been to his gigs. He wanted to borrow my guitar amp.
That's when I got the idea to find out for myself what was really
happening.

I said "sure, you can use my amp but I want to hide behind it at the
gig and see if she comes into the venue and who she comes in with". He
agreed. Saturday night came and I slipped behind my Marshall JCM800 half
stack to get a good view. I could feel the heat coming off the back of the
amp. It was at that moment, crouching down behind the amp, that I noticed
that one of the tubes was not glowing as bright as the other 3.

Is this something I can fix myself or do need to take it to a
technician?

Thanks,
Very Concerned

I loled.

[ganga]

Hahahaha. That was great. Never saw it before.

[D.Don]

Originally Posted by Kevin Myers

How many lead singers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

1... They just hold it in the air and the world revolves around them

How many drummers?

6.... One to hold it up and 5 to drink until the room spins

How many sound engineers?

They don't do lights....

lol@sound engineers!

How many country singers does it take to change a light bulb?

3 ...

One of em change the bulb, while the other two writes and performs a song about how good and beloved the old light bulb was ...



D.Don

[D.Don]

Originally Posted by NJL

Dear Abby...
I think my wife is cheating on me. I am a working musician and, as
you would expect, travel a lot. I have been noticing strange things
happening when I get home. Her mobile phone rings and she steps
outside to answer it or she says, "I'll call you back later". When I ask
her who called she gets evasive.
Sometimes she goes out with friends but comes home late, getting
dropped off around the corner and walking the rest of the way. I once
picked up the extension while she was on the phone and she got very angry.

A buddy of mine plays guitar in a band. He told me that my wife and
some guy have been to his gigs. He wanted to borrow my guitar amp.
That's when I got the idea to find out for myself what was really
happening.

I said "sure, you can use my amp but I want to hide behind it at the
gig and see if she comes into the venue and who she comes in with". He
agreed. Saturday night came and I slipped behind my Marshall JCM800 half
stack to get a good view. I could feel the heat coming off the back of the
amp. It was at that moment, crouching down behind the amp, that I noticed
that one of the tubes was not glowing as bright as the other 3.

Is this something I can fix myself or do need to take it to a
technician?

Thanks,
Very Concerned

ROTFLMAO!!!!

D.Don

[dmq89]

Originally Posted by CarolatSheLives

**How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?**

None - we're just too cool for that kind of s***.

[D.Don]

Originally Posted by dmq89

None - we're just too cool for that kind of s***.

None - you don't need light to play the bass.



D.Don

[Gard]

How can you tell if the drum riser is level?

The drool comes out of both sides of his mouth.

[sarcastro83]

What do you call a drummer without a girlfriend?

Homeless.

[Bassic83]

How do you get the drummer's car to get better mileage?
















Have him take the pizza delivery sign off the roof...

[D.Don]

A duck is walking into a bar, leans his duck neck and head over the counter and asks the barman: "Do you have any bread?"

Barman, quite surprised looks at the duck and laughs a bit and answer him: "No my little friend we don't have any bread"

Duck walks out, comes back the day after, same procedure. "Do you have any bread?"

Barman again a little confused but still in a friendly tone: "No, sorry, no bread"

The duck leaves the bar, and of course comes back the next day: "Do you have any bread?"

Barman slightly annoyed: "No, we don't have any bread!!"

Duck runs out, and again the next day, jumps up on a chair, leans over the counter: "Do you have any bread?"

Now the barman is pretty pissed off: "No you little prick, we don't have any bread, get outa here"

Duck leaves fast, but next day he's back again, now standing on the bardesk: "Do you have any bread?"

Barman looses it totally: "NO YOU LITTLE FRAKKIN PIECE OF **** DUCK WE DONT HAVE ANY BREAD NOW BEAT IT!!!! AND IF YOU DARE COMIN BACK AGAIN ASKING FOR BREAD I WILL NAIL YOUR LITTLE UGLY DUCK'S BILL TO THE BAR DESK!!!!!"

Duck: "Do you have any nails?"

Barman: "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!"

Duck: "Do you have any bread?"

. . .



D.Don

[mrjim123]

Originally Posted by D.Don

A duck is walking into a bar, leans his duck neck and head over the counter and asks the barman: "Do you have any bread?"

Barman, quite surprised looks at the duck and laughs a bit and answer him: "No my little friend we don't have any bread"

Duck walks out, comes back the day after, same procedure. "Do you have any bread?"

Barman again a little confused but still in a friendly tone: "No, sorry, no bread"

The duck leaves the bar, and of course comes back the next day: "Do you have any bread?"

Barman slightly annoyed: "No, we don't have any bread!!"

Duck runs out, and again the next day, jumps up on a chair, leans over the counter: "Do you have any bread?"

Now the barman is pretty pissed off: "No you little prick, we don't have any bread, get outa here"

Duck leaves fast, but next day he's back again, now standing on the bardesk: "Do you have any bread?"

Barman looses it totally: "NO YOU LITTLE FRAKKIN PIECE OF **** DUCK WE DONT HAVE ANY BREAD NOW BEAT IT!!!! AND IF YOU DARE COMIN BACK AGAIN ASKING FOR BREAD I WILL NAIL YOUR LITTLE UGLY DUCK'S BILL TO THE BAR DESK!!!!!"

Duck: "Do you have any nails?"

Barman: "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!"

Duck: "Do you have any bread?"

. . .



D.Don

Hey, this is SUPPOSED to be a BASS PLAYER joke! If it was Duck Dunn then you're off the hook.

[mrjim123]

How many bluegrass musicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Four. One to change it, and three to complain that it's electric.

[mrjim123]

How many bass playerss does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One, but he has to wait until the light is better.

[D.Don]

Originally Posted by mrjim123

Hey, this is SUPPOSED to be a BASS PLAYER joke! If it was Duck Dunn then you're off the hook.

Every where it says "a duck", imagine it says " a duck with a bass" ..

Or change bar to GC and "Do you have any bass?"




D.Don