OMG!

[Bassic83]

As some of you know, I have been fighting the bastard cold of 2007-2008 for a few weeks now, being alternately stuffed up, watery-eyed, sneezing, and coughing since the day before New Year's Eve. Well, my coughing in the last week or so has become quite "productive", I've been horking up big ol' nasty chunks of lung butter...

So the other night, my wife and I are sitting on the couch watching a movie, when suddenly my dog Prince decides he wants up on my lap. He's a Sheltie mix, looks a lot like Lassie, but only 35 lbs or so. He put his front feet up on my stomach, then proceeds to spring his back feet off the ground, landing directly on my crotch. Felt like a hammer to the groin! My eyes got wide, I fought to finish breathing in, and was in severe pain...I swatted at my wife, who said "What- Prince is on your lap, so what?" I flailed at her again, this time she looked at me, getting closer to passing out, and saw where his back paws were located. She smacked him to make him get down, and he bounded off my lap, further compressing my "technicals" and causing me to groan with pain and see stars in my peripheral vision.

"Was he standing where I think he was?" she asked. I could only nod, a tear streaming down my cheek.

"Did he get you again when I shooed him off you?"

It was at this instant that my lungs and throat seized up in a mighty spasm of a cough, expelling a chunk of goo out across the room...it was about the size of a pecan, and roughly the same shape. It landed on the floor, with a dull splat.

"OH MY GOD! What was THAT?" she about screamed, eyes as big as dinner plates...

I could only look at her and croak out a weak reply-

"I think that it was my 'technical' that he was standing on!"

That's when I got pummeled and slapped...

But it was worth it. The look of shock and disgust on her face, followed by the laugh we both got out of it...after I could breathe again, that is...

[Johnny Mack]

so did it help the cold?

[Bassic83]

Originally Posted by Johnny Mack

so did it help the cold?

A little bit. Not a treatment I recommend...

[Johnny Mack]

hahaha

[CiRRuS~BaSS]

ROFL..holy crap i laughed so hard....if i wasnt in the library i would be on the floor right now...funniest thing ive read in quite awhile.

[Valerus]

Lmao that is awesome.

[NJL]

Badass!!

I was showing up to a gig late (i'm NEVER late)... I coughed hard as I would lowering one of my cabs and a HUGE green booger from my mouth flew across the stage onto my drummers floor tom head!! LOL I was cracking up and he was pissed!

LOL

[davetakis]

Originally Posted by Bassic83

As some of you know, I have been fighting the bastard cold of 2007-2008 for a few weeks now, being alternately stuffed up, watery-eyed, sneezing, and coughing since the day before New Year's Eve. Well, my coughing in the last week or so has become quite "productive", I've been horking up big ol' nasty chunks of lung butter...

So the other night, my wife and I are sitting on the couch watching a movie, when suddenly my dog Prince decides he wants up on my lap. He's a Sheltie mix, looks a lot like Lassie, but only 35 lbs or so. He put his front feet up on my stomach, then proceeds to spring his back feet off the ground, landing directly on my crotch. Felt like a hammer to the groin! My eyes got wide, I fought to finish breathing in, and was in severe pain...I swatted at my wife, who said "What- Prince is on your lap, so what?" I flailed at her again, this time she looked at me, getting closer to passing out, and saw where his back paws were located. She smacked him to make him get down, and he bounded off my lap, further compressing my "technicals" and causing me to groan with pain and see stars in my peripheral vision.

"Was he standing where I think he was?" she asked. I could only nod, a tear streaming down my cheek.

"Did he get you again when I shooed him off you?"

It was at this instant that my lungs and throat seized up in a mighty spasm of a cough, expelling a chunk of goo out across the room...it was about the size of a pecan, and roughly the same shape. It landed on the floor, with a dull splat.

"OH MY GOD! What was THAT?" she about screamed, eyes as big as dinner plates...

I could only look at her and croak out a weak reply-

"I think that it was my 'technical' that he was standing on!"

That's when I got pummeled and slapped...

But it was worth it. The look of shock and disgust on her face, followed by the laugh we both got out of it...after I could breathe again, that is...

your lucky she didnt smack you in the technicals.
ohhhhhhhh i kill me

[barebones]

Great story! Reminds me of a similar scenario that occurred once when my wife had a bad cold, way back in the early days when we were dating. We were sitting on the couch watching some sitcom having a decent chuckle at whatever was happening on the show, when out of nowhere this quick, spastic, completely involuntary sneeze hits her. It happened too fast for her to cover her mouth, and this tremendous, greenish chunk of... something comes firing out of her head and splats directly onto the TV screen with an audible pftink! We were both just shocked as hell, and we couldn't stop rolling on the floor laughing at it. Ah, the wonderful, hilarious, eternal mysteries of the human body...

Of course, then came the inevitable argument about who had to clean it up.

Matt

[El-Bob]

it's not too often that i actually laugh out loud at something i read on the internet, that's funny stuff.