Our Band Stinks

jbennardo · #1 08-07-2005, 08:00 PM

I'm fresh from our latest gig and I'm just sick. I've been pleading for weeks and months that we should pratice more to get tighter as a band. It seems to fall on deaf ears. The guys just seem content with getting together once every two or three weeks to practice. They love to complain about how we don't work enough, or "we're better than THAT band". If we were, we'd be working!

Problem two is, if the band DOES get tighter, we're still saddled with a mediocre lead guitar player. We switched instruments at practice the other night and I actually showed him some stuff!!! Huh????

My wife is no musician by any stretch and SHE noticed that something isn't right. When I tell them we need to practice, I get looked at like I'm some kind of tyrant. I'm just about to join another project to fulfill my needs - people that will push me and make me better. I don't know how to let this die or end it or whatever...

Just needed to vent - thanks.

scorpionldr · #2 08-07-2005, 08:23 PM

get them out somewhere to embarrass themselves......they'll either wake up or give up

jbennardo · #3 08-07-2005, 08:41 PM

No matter how many mistakes we make or endings we botch, everything is "just fine" after the show. "wow great show" "yeah you too"

Are you guys in the same band I am????? "oh you're being negative" "we'll never be that good" "you can't compare us to them, they've been together for like 8 years"

yeah and they rehearsed more than once every two weeks!!!!!!!!

I'm gonna flip out. I gotta get out or something.

scorpionldr · #4 08-07-2005, 08:52 PM

than you really just have to rip on them one day and say that you want to start practicing a minimum of once every week, at a max of 3. those that have a problem with commitment should really leave. it's just that simple
an example.
my band has had the same stupid fat kid that doesn't want to carry his amp or his equipment and is too lazy to get a driver's license, and i've finally given up because we've kicked him out 3 times and for a lack of musicians around the local area we let him back in. eventually he went from a crappy musician with a lot of friends, to a really crappy musician with a lot of friends, to the point that he cocky enough to believe because he has another band that's "destined for great things" (horsecrap) that he can be a stuckup @$$hole because "experimentation isn't professional at all, you either have it or you don't, and you don't". he's cocky enough he can try and show off (and fail) and be unprofessional and not think anything of it.

my point is that you have to either scrap the lineup till you find out who your loyal bandmates are, or your going to crash

Chunk-O-Funk · #5 08-07-2005, 10:15 PM

Simple,

If they only practices once every two weeks it leaves you with plenty of time to do something else. Go do the other project and let them know it, by that I mean be upfront and honest. Tell them you are looking to improve and this project is what you are looking for. Let them know you are still available for the once every two week rehearsals and gigs.

If doing both bands is to much, you will have to chose. From your rant it does not sound like it would be a difficult choice.

jbennardo · #6 08-08-2005, 08:04 AM

Yeah, I guess I was ranting a bit, eh?

Man, I was just so fired up!

I think I'll do just that - work on another project. The way things are going, we should have no conflicts. I'm not sure I want to open that can of worms with them just yet. Already, I received a call from our "guitarist" giving me the "what's wrong?" speel, like I expect too much.

I will follow the advice that many have given in this post and others - be a professional and play; do my job. However, I'm done giving that extra effort since others won't give it.

Party on, guys and gals.

**Mickey Shane** · #7 08-08-2005, 08:22 AM

Playing in two bands can be a wonderful release from band frustration. Just keep real good track of first-come-first-served gig schedules. Holidays are the trickiest.

threshar · #8 08-08-2005, 08:51 AM

heh. we did a gig recently and after the last tune we all said "Wow, that was quite possibly the WORST we ever played that song!" - the funny thing is it is a song we play all the time and butchered it. Yet the 2 songs we hadn't done before were right on.

practice is vitally important. Perhaps you need to beat your bandmates with a hickory stick?

You can also make a simple recording (ie, just a single mic on a laptop or small cheap recorder) to show them how it sounds. Some people have issues listening to "the whole".

RicPlaya · #9 08-08-2005, 08:59 AM

They must practice on their own, not just as a group.

If they suck, move on!

jbennardo · #10 08-08-2005, 09:02 AM

Our singer has set up a recorder both at practice AND gigs. It began as a training tool for him and I as we sing together. When I listed to the tape from one of our real gigs, I was mortified to hear the disjointed sound and overall lack of tightness of the band.

It's not fatal, just needs practice to fix it. Our guitarist has made comments about his lackluster playing but it doesn't seem to motivate him to get any better. He's happy with status quo. Ironically, he called me after last night's, ahem... "gig", and began to complain about the skill of our new drummer?!?!!?!?!?

What can a guy do but slap his hand to his forehead and say "don't you get it???"

daofktr · #11 08-08-2005, 10:26 AM

get another project, and don't give in to the 'suck' factor.
i've been in a project that had major probs...thank God it folded, because it would have stayed sucky forever.
i'm lucky that my main band doesn't suck, and, so far, the subbing work i've been able to score has mostly been cool.

good luck!

Jeff Martinez · #12 08-09-2005, 03:07 PM

Funny thing about working on a second project...

My band was frustrationg me with the opposite problem. We practiced 3-5 days/week, but whenever I would ask them about booking shows, they told me not to. Keep in mind that we've played MANY shows in the last few years, but for some reason, they kept telling me that our new material wasn't ready for the stage. So I started working with another band who recently lost their bassist (both bands are really good friends). That gave band #1 a kick in the shorts, and now we have plenty of shows booked.

the irony.......

It now appears that by the end of this years, both bands will be merging to become one. ....what have I gotten myself into???..... ha ha ha

jbennardo · #13 08-09-2005, 03:53 PM

Wow, that is quite a pickle you've gotten yourself into. You guys will look like when those festival bands all jump on stage together!

I had my first rehearsal with a Latin/Fusion project last night. Polar opposite of my current situation (Blink, Green Day, 80's covers). Very cool music which offers a great challenge. I think the Latin rhythms will teach me a brand new discipline. The guys are great musicians too. I've always enjoyed playing with better guys - makes you better. Unless of course they're grabbing your bass every 5 seconds and saying "no, no, no - it goes like this".

So it's done and I've got two fires burning now. I'm hoping I haven't gotten in too deep.

RicPlaya · #14 08-10-2005, 11:50 AM

Congrats!

I'm dealing with the same thing you are. Your doing the right thing. What will happen is you will eventually dump the slackers. Good luck, just let em down easy.

Cristofre · #15 08-12-2005, 02:24 PM

Wow, that sounds like most of the bands I've ever been in! LOL
I guess a lot of bar bands are more into it for the fun than really making something good out of it, at least that has been my experience with "bar bands" that I've been in.

In the last year I took a 180 degree turn and started playing "doghouse" bass in a bluegrass/folk/weirdness acoustic band and I found the situation oddly enough is EVEN worse! The other band members are all good friends of mine but we jam more than practice and we have only had 2 gigs in the last year. I really love the band though and there is a lot of possibility there, but I just want to pull my hair out because there is so much apathy with the other guys.
I personally have worked harder at this band than any band I've been with before. If anything good has come out of it, it has been I have improved a lot- being in this band has forced me to branch out from being the bass player in the back to occasionally doing lead vocals, playing guitar and generally just kind of keeping the band running.

Fieldflower · #16 08-24-2005, 03:08 PM

I've been in a cover band the last 5 years.
We're all mid-career so it's just a hobby, but lately all the others have had about 2 babies each and that doesn't simplify rehearsal planning.

I used to get really frustrated with the fact that once a week has turned into once every 2-3 weeks.

Now I've gotten myself a second band and all the frustration is just gone...
Now it's OK to rehearse when the other guys can (by the way they're really nice guys and good musicians), because I can also focus on my other band.

All in all everyone is happier now.

jbennardo · #17 08-24-2005, 03:17 PM

The second band has made me happier and easier to deal with for the first band. I'm not on their case all the time to practice. I guess I've accepted that they've got other priorities. It just burns me up when they ask why we're not working more

practice = get tight = more gigs

Guess they missed that semester.

And it's not just me. We've heard this from other band, club owners, our peers.... They just choose not to hear it and think we're just fine.

Bassmanbob · #18 08-25-2005, 10:54 PM

Hey man!

Sounds like joining a second band has really worked for you. Now eventually you can choose between the two if like gets too busy.

Good luck

Matt Till · #19 08-26-2005, 01:02 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jbennardo

Plays well with others...

But others don't play well with you. Ha.

I've been there. Luckily the "friends" band fell apart, so I didn't break any hearts by saying, "get it together or I'm leaving."

Being in a band is worse that dating. You've really got to have a solid relationship with everybody, and at the same time motivate the unmotivated to get going.

jbennardo · #20 08-26-2005, 06:56 AM

Yeah, my little tag line is a goal for me. No matter who I play with, I want to be good.... turnkey. Nobody should have to nurse me along.

I told my wife that I just have a feeling that this band is going to dissolve. We lost a founding member two months ago and things are sort of in limbo. The replacement is doing ok, but will always be in the other guy's shadow. And not by us really either, he's putting an incredible amount of pressure on himself.

I just see outside forces putting a slug in this band within 3 months.