post funny ads here

[hartke20g]

i was just roaming around craigslist tonight looking for a drummer/band and came across this: http://miami.craigslist.org/muc/242701107.html
it's obviously fake (and sounds like it's posted by an upset bassist)

post and discuss strange/funny ads.

[CoDBassPlayer]

Well I suppose you could count this as funny:

Some of the ads for members in the Chruch bands at our local GC have ads up. Sometimes the acronyms spell bad words and stuff. I love reading them and gettign the weird looks by laughin my arse off, then people stopping to look at me when I pick up my bag to go into my practice room, knowing I'm a bassist and that's how I'm supposed to act.(I've always been the semi-tarded one in my group of friends.)


Also: There are a few ads with just "Looking for guitarist" and then some phone number. Makes me laugh thinking they have to keep it short and simple for the guitards while the bass ads are almost a full page. =D

[-Kramer-]

I always enjoy the "Best of Craigslist" page. Full of funny ads/stories but most are not music related.

[Bassman7PM]

Just found this one on Craigslist in Chicago, gotta love it:
http://chicago.craigslist.org/nwi/muc/247261214.html

Bass player here looking for band that realizes that brass ring is much hire than originally envisioned. I have a day job and a mortgage, so unless you're guarantying me $100K a year to tour and play 52 shows a year don't be upset. I played in a popular band for 2 years and with venues at The Vic, HOB Chicago, Aragon Ballroom (3 times) and several small shows all opening for major acts, co-wrote several songs. I've seen the shady side of the music industry and have no plans to make it my career.

But, I do have professional gear and 12 Bass' ranging from Acoustic, 8 string and 12 string (for any Cheap Trick Fans) I know how to use pedals for balance and full sound. I don't like The Beatles and my influences are The Ramones, Replacements, Social Distortion, Naked Raygun, Godfathers, Gene Loves Jezebel, Wire Train, etc.. I can commit to rehearsing 2 times a week and shows 2 times a month anything after that we need to talk. Married w/ a family and in my mid 30's.

I am a detailed orientated person, punctual and a time management freak. I believe in schedules and commitments, I do drink but no drugs (unless you can get some acid or shrooms, then we can talk)

So bring on the bands.

[de la mocha]

Originally Posted by hartke20g

i was just roaming around craigslist tonight looking for a drummer/band and came across this: http://miami.craigslist.org/muc/242701107.html
it's obviously fake (and sounds like it's posted by an upset bassist)

post and discuss strange/funny ads.

Location: The universe!!!!! LOL!!!!

[ric1312]

this brings up the funniest response to an add for drummer I put in.

It's 3 am me and my wife are dead asleep. Some drummer calls and goes into this wild rant that sounded like he was trying to act like a wacked out football coach giving a pep talk.

"You ready to rock man, *** you sleepin at 3 am. Lets get together and do something and tear it up, ect" then he went into this rant about how he was a wild man on the drums and he liked to party 24/7. then when I told him I hve to let you go call me in the afternoon, after work.....

"cmon man, you want to rock and roll and your acting like this? I'll bet your more excited about the pimples on your wifes ass....." My wife plays in my band and happened to be sleeping right next to me. Good luck too you, bye, don't call again..................................tard.

[Herrlster]

Originally Posted by hartke20g

i was just roaming around craigslist tonight looking for a drummer/band and came across this: http://miami.craigslist.org/muc/242701107.html
it's obviously fake (and sounds like it's posted by an upset bassist)

post and discuss strange/funny ads.

Hahaha, if there was a drummer-version of Yngwie Malmsteen, that would be him!

[MichaelScott]

I love the adds that say the bass player must have "Pro" gear but the gigs don't pay.

[CoDBassPlayer]

Originally Posted by MichaelScott

I love the adds that say the bass player must have "Pro" gear but the gigs don't pay.

I LOVE the office!


On topic: I've seen a few of those and I always call to see if they even care about my gear. Most of them do and I always have to ask what kind of gigs they're playing, then they respond they don't have any yet. Or they won't take me because I've got an Ibanez.(I LOVE Ibanez.)

[MichaelScott]

Originally Posted by CoDBassPlayer

I LOVE the office!

On topic: I've seen a few of those and I always call to see if they even care about my gear. Most of them do and I always have to ask what kind of gigs they're playing, then they respond they don't have any yet. Or they won't take me because I've got an Ibanez.(I LOVE Ibanez.)

Office?

Yeah I've got an Ibanez too. Love 'em.

[CoDBassPlayer]

[quote=MichaelScott;3676618]Office?
[quote]

It's a TV show where Steve Carrell plays Michael Scott, it's a comedy about an office where people do stupid things, and the boss is really dumb.(A funny dumb though.)

[martyman5000]

This is a local band looking for a Bassist...now you can see why I can't find a band in my area...

Band looking for Bassist

do you have a lot of hair? can you play two sticks on a log? how about a bass? can you play that? can you play it really loud and act like a regular human being? if so, maybe there's some hope for you yet!

come join a hard rock band....if you can handle that. please, no emotionally disturbed people and also, it helps if you have talent beyond your mom telling you that you're the greatest. So if you can rock, aren't a jerk and are reasonably able to carry a tune without using a bucket, then respond here! I wioll truly get back to you asap.

[Poop-Loops]

Originally Posted by Herrlster

Hahaha, if there was a drummer-version of Yngwie Malmsteen, that would be him!

Neoclassical drumming is the wave of the future!

[Alan Vorse]

I saw an ad a few years back looking for a bass player. They were an image conscience Indie/Punk band that said something to the effect of "Must play a cool bass like and old Fender Precision, Rickenbacker or Gibson Thunderbird."

[need4mospd]

Indie band ****** ****** is seeking a bass player, but we have a set of requirements, because we're going for a certain look and we won't accept anything short of this. You must:
-Play a Fender Jazz bass, USA, NOT a MIM or Squire. This is important. Vintage is a plus, relic'd OK. No brand new off the shelf stuff.
-Play through an Ampeg SVT, preferably vintage, and MUST have an Ampeg 8x10. I can't stress this more, it's absolutely imperative.
-Not be fat. The skinnier the better. If your waist is bigger than a 32 and you're not 6 foot 6, you're too fat.
-Not have long hair.
-Not be older than 23
-Not be a Republican. If you're a Republican we hate you and you're not welcome near us.

The look we're going for is like Thrice, Taking Back Sunday, Story of the Year, From Autumn to Ashes, Thursday, and Funeral for a Friend. If you don't have this look and style, please don't respond. If you have a pic, preferably full body, with pics of your gear, you'll get a faster response. Our image is everything, the music will come with time.

This was posted on a JAZZ message board!

[::::BASSIST::::]

I find this amusing more than funny. Who does this? There is even a pic.

I am 6'1 38 and I'm going to be performing in Vancouver on Jan 16th for 3 weeks. I'm a musician that lives in Las Vegas and I would love to hook up with any sexy girls who like musicians!

[SherpaKahn]

Saw this one on NYC Craigslist today.

I'm just 91 yesterday.I feel like a 70 year old. I come from a Long line of Musicians and Hip cats.My great grandfather played flute with the original Paul Revere.

I'm looking for a Paid situation. I have chops so don't break them. Right on, right on! I can pull my own weight on my own Hamstrings, 6 strings,4 strings,12 strings... no strings attatched. I Rock and roll without a chair. Like a Great Vintage Guitar I have all my original Body Parts... no mods. However I am not drug free.I take Human growth hormone I call "My fountain of youth". I'm taking growth hormones to try to stop the aging process. However, there are some side effects like abnormal breast development So don't you know I got a couple of 36 b's. They are great looking when I shave them and started using them as part of the act. You know for couple bucks more.

Enough about me. The aforementioned are just some of the advantages in you hiring me for your next job. Just to prove that this whole Mercenary thing isn't getting old. I'm always on time and I have a track record to die for. Most who tried to keep up with me... are!

Back in the early part of the twentieth century I was a priest and worked in Africa in a Leper colony. A year went by and I started to notice when I shaved in the morning, there was always some kind of gummy stuff in the hair stubble. I just thought I was getting thinner in the face and so it turns out part of my facial skeleton is exposed and could be depicted as hard to look at. You know what I say... "Old Lepers Never Die, they just fall apart. But any way in Metal arena's, they love it. So for few dollars more I can enhance The look for the act. Grim Reaper Hooded deal. Other then those few minor things...

Here what I'm looking for

Money so I can get plastic surgery to Look like Nick Nolty... See I'm curious but not stupid. Nick is doable for me at present.

Money so I can pay for my growth hormone treatments. Don't forget about my breasts

Money, I have 19 wives and numerous children just chasing me for another block of cheese.

Money cause I'm thinking of moving to Boston . dp

[invader3k]

That ad has to be a joke. A 91 year old leprous bass player with boobs? That's something else. Should've e-mailed him back asking for a pic.

Oh, and that indie band ad is beyond pretentious.

[Fretloos]

haha, those ads are great!

[buliwyfff]

Originally Posted by Alan Vorse

I saw an ad a few years back looking for a bass player. They were an image conscience Indie/Punk band that said something to the effect of "Must play a cool bass like and old Fender Precision, Rickenbacker or Gibson Thunderbird."

I think those basses are cool