Requirements for a jazz band

[Growler]

So I"m thinking of hiring a jazz band to play during my wedding and I recall on this board a while ago people posting ridiculous band requirements. Usually coming from craigslist or something similar. One of the candidates is my former bass instructor and I thought it would be funny to provide him with a list of similar humorous requirements.

Does anybody have a list of these that would pertain to jazz? He is the bassist...

[Bredian]

Set List

Chain Reaction/Don Ellis

http://youtu.be/5hqnQyXWV5g

Just add a couple of violins and a french horn and you're set.

[justBrian]

I love Don Ellis--his Live At Monterey is amazing. Especially when you hear him count off 33 222 1 222. The subdivision is all about feel. Simply brilliant!!

[klejst]

Since this is in the humor forum and all...a requirement for a Jazz band is that the bassist play a Jazz bass

[fraublugher]

A degree in marriage counselling

A willingness to change the set-list [every song]

A white upright

A white electric

[BassChuck]

All songs must be at least 10 mnutes in length.
Everyone must solo on every tune.
All songs from Real Book, 6th Edition.
No one in the audience is allowed to know the name of the song before its played, or recognize it while it is being played.
Musicans may face the audience only if they feel like it.
No requests.
No musician can be found during the band breaks.

[pklima]

Originally Posted by fraublugher

A white upright

Especially important when playing in bathrooms.

[Bredian]

Originally Posted by klejst

a requirement for a Jazz band is that the bassist play a Jazz bass

YES!!!!

Not an upright fan until I saw this last week:


Cello Wars (Star Wars Parody) Lightsaber Duel - Steven Sharp Nelson - YouTube


OK, URB might be OK.

[Vakmere]

Hire a DJ spinning only jazz tunes

[Bochafish]

How many people in the band? Need one to screw in the light bulb, while the rest stand around and talk about how they would have done it better.

[rtslinger]

Ahhh need to know how to play jazz songs?

[fraublugher]

Originally Posted by pklima

Especially important when playing in bathrooms.

And if the guy in the next stall taps his foot thusly.....
You get paid extra

[Throckmorten]

Experinece playing a solo on a remote island, notably after an extended drum solo.
The ability to smile after hearing the same joke 500 times.

[thudfromafar]

Originally Posted by BassChuck

All songs must be at least 10 mnutes in length.
Everyone must solo on every tune.
All songs from Real Book, 6th Edition.
No one in the audience is allowed to know the name of the song before its played, or recognize it while it is being played.
Musicans may face the audience only if they feel like it.
No requests.
No musician can be found during the band breaks.

In otherwords be just like 9 out of 10 jazz combos.
haha!

(in case someone didnt get the joke...)