Share funny jokes about musicians

[dideah]

Whats the funniest jokes you know that has to do with bassist , guitarist , drummers ( etc , etc )

[Dan Knowlton]

Unfortunately, this one is true...

What's the difference between a soprano and a piranha?


Lipstick.

Can you tell I've backed up too many of them?

Dan K,

[GrapeApe]

Why do drummers always carry their sticks?
To keep their knuckles from dragging.

Why do drummers leave their sticks on the dash?
To park in handicapped spaces.

What do you call a guy who hangs out with musicians?
A singer/drummer.

Whats the difference between a banjo and an onion?
No one cries when you cut up a banjo.

and this:
Guitarist Jokes - Courtesy of Ten Story Love

[rob_thebassman]

What's the best way to confuse a drummer?

Put a sheet of music in front of him

[rob_thebassman]

How do you know when a drummer is at the door?

Cos' they never know when to come in!

[kcole4001]

Not musicians so much but instruments, and their players by inference:

What's the definition of 'perfect pitch'?
A banjo thrown in a graceful arc through the air and landing in a dumpster full of accordions.

[fourstringgirl]

How many lead guitarists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

All of them. One to actually screw in the light bulb and the rest of them to say, "I could have done it better."



How do you get the lead singer off the front porch?

Pay him for the pizza.

[Jeff K]

Originally Posted by rob_thebassman

How do you know when a drummer is at the door?

Cos' they never know when to come in!

...And they're knocking too fast...

[Mykk]

Originally Posted by rob_thebassman

How do you know when a drummer is at the door?

Cos' the knocking speeds up and/or slows down and...

Cos' they never know when to come in!

Fixed :-)

[RustyAxe]

What's the best way to tune a banjo? With wire cutters.

[RustyAxe]

What's the difference between a banjo and a trampoline? You take your shoes off to jump on a trampoline.

[RustyAxe]

What's the difference between a large pizza and a banjo player? A large pizza can feed a family of four.

[RustyAxe]

How do you know there's a chick singer at the door? She can't find the key and doesn't know when to come in.

[RustyAxe]

What do you call a drummer who breaks up with his girlfriend? Homeless.

[RustyAxe]

I got a million of 'em folks!

[Rockmusician]

I've posted this before but here it is again:

C, E flat and G go into a bar. The bartender says, "sorry,
but we don't serve minors." So E flat leaves, and C and G
have an open fifth between them. After a few drinks, the
fifth is diminished and G is out flat. F comes in and tries
to augment the situation, but is not sharp enough.

D comes in and heads for the bathroom saying, "Excuse me.
I'll just be a second." Then A comes in, but the bartender
is not convinced that this relative of C is not a minor.
The bartender notices B flat hiding at the end of the
bar and says, "Get out! You're the seventh minor I've found
in this bar tonight."

E Flat comes back the next night in a three-piece suit with
nicely shined shoes. The bartender says, "you're looking
sharp tonight. Come on in, this could be a major
development." Sure enough, E flat soon takes off his suit
and everything else, and is au natural.

Eventually C sobers up and realizes in horror that he's
under a rest. C is brought to trial, found guilty of
contributing to the diminution of a minor, and is sentenced
to 10 years of D.S. without Coda at an upscale correctional
facility.

[jmlee]

Originally Posted by dideah

Whats the funniest jokes you know that has to do with bassist , guitarist , drummers ( etc , etc )

How do you know when there's a drummer at the door?

The knock speeds up.

[jb63]

Why do bagpipe players walk when they play?

To get away from the noise!

[MBlackbird]

Q: How do you know when the stage is level?

A: The drool is coming out both sides of the drummer's mouth.

Q: What's black and blue and lying in a ditch?

A: A bassist who told too many drummer jokes!

[Cirk]

How do you get a drummer to go away? Pay for the pizza.