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06-20-2005, 12:06 PM
| | | | slightly discriminating joke: what do you call a guy that hangs around with musicians
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a drummer!
i know this isnt true at all, drums give the song rhythm and stuff.....but i still think its a pretty funny joke.
and to let you know that i dont just make jokes about drummers:
what do you call a bass player without a wife?
homeless....
im a bass player and even though this is not true i still think its kinda funny  |
06-20-2005, 12:12 PM
| | Registered User | | Join Date: Apr 2002 Location: West Side SA | | | how do you get a comedian off your porch?
pay em' for the pizza
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how do trumpet players introduce themselves?
"hi, my name is john and i'm better than you"
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what type of birth control do clarinet players prefer?
their personality
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"The quieter you become, the more you are able to hear"
Mark Wilson is the greatest
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06-20-2005, 12:15 PM
| | | | maybe i should change the thread name to jokes that make fun of musicians! |
06-20-2005, 04:06 PM
| | Registered User | | Join Date: Aug 2000 Location: Knoxville TN | | | How can you tell when the stage is level at a bluegrass gig?
When drool comes out both sides of the banjo player's mouth. |
06-21-2005, 08:10 AM
| | Registered User | | Join Date: Aug 2001 Location: San Diego, CA | | why is a pizza better than a keyboard player??
pizza feeds a family of four.....  |
06-21-2005, 08:12 AM
| | Registered User | | Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: North Bay, Ontario, CANADA | | Quote: |
Originally Posted by Reverend G-Money why is a pizza better than a keyboard player??
pizza feeds a family of four..... | what is the differance between a couch and a guitar player
a couch can support a whole family
__________________
- silentmethod Quote: |
Originally Posted by Les Claypool In the early days all I hoped was to make a living out of what I did best. But, since there's no real market for masturbation I had to fall back on my bass playing abilities. | |
06-21-2005, 08:18 AM
|  | Registered User | | Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: Auburn, Maine | | How can you tell if there's a drummer knocking at your door?
..the knocking speeds up...... 
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Medium Scale Bass Club Member #65
Praise and Worship Band Club Member #216
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06-21-2005, 08:25 AM
| | Registered User | | Join Date: Aug 2001 Location: San Diego, CA | | | i love the "Russian Dragon" drummers too... special breed i tell ya... |
06-21-2005, 09:07 AM
| | | | What's the difference between a violin and a viola?
A viola burns longer.
--chiba |
06-21-2005, 10:06 AM
| | Registered User | | Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: Lewisville, TX | | | Did you hear about the drummer who locked his keys in his car?
It took two hours to get the bass player out.
How many guitarists does it take to play "Pride and Joy?"
Apparently, every single one of them. |
06-21-2005, 01:33 PM
| | | | What's the definition of perfect pitch?
It's when you throw the accordian in the dumpster and it lands on the banjo. |
06-21-2005, 09:13 PM
| | Registered User | | Join Date: Jun 2002 Location: Edinboro, PA | | Quote: |
Originally Posted by gretschman How many guitarists does it take to play "Pride and Joy?"
Apparently, every single one of them. |
This is the only one I haven't heard, and it's freakin' hilarious!!!!!!!!!!!!! 
__________________
Mediocre Bassist Club Member #4
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06-22-2005, 01:56 AM
| | | how many drummer's does it take to screw in a light bulb?
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none, they invented a machine for that too 
__________________
My Basses:
Washburn XB100 (3/20/04)
SX SJB-62QMD(6/14/05)
Amplification:
Kustom KBA16 Combo
Strings:
D'Addarios on both
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06-22-2005, 04:26 AM
| | Registered User | | Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: Brisbane, Australia | | ROFLMAO, but seriously ....  where is the light bulb machine? :P i got a few to change |
06-22-2005, 05:31 AM
| | | Quote: |
Originally Posted by jongor How can you tell if there's a drummer knocking at your door?
..the knocking speeds up...... | ... and he never knows when to come in |
06-22-2005, 11:32 AM
| | | | a drummer one day decides to play a real instrument so he goes to a music store and picks out two instruments to learn, upon going to the counter to pay, the cashier informed him: "i'm sorry. you can keep the fire extinguisher but the radiator has to stay"
__________________
My Basses:
Washburn XB100 (3/20/04)
SX SJB-62QMD(6/14/05)
Amplification:
Kustom KBA16 Combo
Strings:
D'Addarios on both
|
06-22-2005, 12:33 PM
| | Registered User | | Join Date: May 2004 Location: St. Louis, MO, U.S. | | | How do you know when a harmonica player is at your door?
He doesn't have the key, but he comes in whenever he wants.
__________________
--Paul Donnelly
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06-22-2005, 09:28 PM
| | Registered User | | Join Date: May 2005 Location: Orlando/Coral Springs, Fl | | Quote: |
Originally Posted by lemur821 How do you know when a harmonica player is at your door?
He doesn't have the key, but he comes in whenever he wants. | EXCELLENT!
__________________
"Take what you do very seriously, and work hard at it. It doesn't matter if you solo. You're the bass player, the bottom you drive the band. We should all be proud to be bass players." Matt Freeman
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06-23-2005, 07:18 PM
| | Registered User | | Join Date: Aug 2003 Location: MD | | | How many bassists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
None, the keyboard player can do it with his left hand.
How many bassists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Two, one to do it, and the other to say how Jaco could have done it better.
__________________
http://adamneely.com |
06-23-2005, 08:30 PM
| | Registered User | | Join Date: Dec 2000 Location: Chicago, IL | | | How many bassists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
1 - 5 - 1 - 5
(I - V - I - V)
__________________
THINK, THINK, THINK...
music math:8+3=10
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