how do you get a bass (DB) to play in tune?...
Chop it up and turn it into a xylophone.
How do you know if the stage is level?...
the drool comes out of both sides of the drummers mouth.
This woman has a really nosey roommate that is always pestering her about her dates. The roommate notices the woman getting ready so she asks..."Where ya goin', whatcha doing, what's his name, what's he do...? The woman tells her to leave and she'll fill her in when she gets back.
The woman goes on her date. When she comes back she's questioned by her roommate. The woman say's "his name was Bob he was very nice. He's a Tuba player."
"How's he kiss?"
"those big flappy slabs of meat? It was grose!"
The next evening the same happens....
"His name was Agustus. He's a Trumpet player. All he did was talk about himself."
"How's he kiss?"
"Gross he was so tight and dry!"
the 3rd incident which has the punchline....
"His name was Trevor, he was ok. He plays the French Horn."
"How'd he kiss?"
"Oh, it was alright but I really loved the way he held me!"
