so stressed I think I'm going to be physically ill... what can I do?

[sleeplessknight]

I've never actually BLOWN a gig before, but tonight just might be my first. If it was some wacky one-off band I might be more calm about it, but this is a musical director that I've worked with quite frequently in the past and there's an excellent chance I will never get a callback again after this.

How gigs with this group generally work is that the pianist/musical director will choose a bunch of Musical Theater-type shows (interspersed with pop tunes from the appropriate era) and if his singing partner knows them in that key will just scan and distribute appropriate parts. More often than not, the key needs to be changed and the director will transcribe the whole chart into Sibelius, shift the key appropriately, and then distribute. It's a TON of work on the director's part, but they seem to enjoy it so *shrug*. Previous shows I've done with him (about three or four), I've gotten a lead-sheet (sometimes with a bass part), MP3s, and instructions to just "learn the tune". Normally, I'd only use the written bass part to get specific unison-licks down (see: bass intro to The Wiz's "Ease On Down The Road" and just read the sheet down like a chord-chart. If the tune had a specific and recognizable bass part (a la Brown Eyed Girl, "Dancing Through Life" from Wicked, etc) I'd use the notation for that too, but otherwise I was given carte-blanche and we'd just run with it, and it was good.

Now there's THIS show. Same setup as last time, maybe slightly less time with the tunes, but whatever. Most songs have a written-out bass part, but I mistakenly figured that it was similar to last time where I'd just pick out the specific licks and whatnot, and read the sheet down chart-wise. This... was a grave mistake. First rehearsal was last Tuesday, and I have never been put under such a microscope before in my LIFE. Darn near every measure I played was criticized, and I was told "Go back and play the written notes". It's no secret that my sight-reading skills are sorely lacking, at least when compared to a classical musician (which the musical director is), but I did nothing but shed this book since the last rehearsal. I thought I did pretty good (there was only one song that I figured I definitely didn't have a handle on, but I'd be going over it with my instructor today so I figured I'd be ready for the one performance tonight...), but at the dress rehearsal yesterday it was more of the same - mid tune we'd stop, I'd get The Evil Eyebrow, and he'd be like "...no, play it like THIS" and to my ear it would be the exact same thing I just played. I got lectured about how important it was to play AS WRITTEN (on a 2-feel swingy-type Broadway tune that I would normally play root-5th with appropriate walkups where necessary, I got LIT INTO about 'it's written as Root-Minor 3rd, then 6th-b7-7-root!') so it wouldn't clash with whatever his left hand was playing. I got so self-conscious that it started affecting my playing, and even 'easy' tunes I thought I had a handle on were getting The Brow. Rehearsal was MISERABLE. Now the show is today, I'm a wreck, and even **** that I thought I had a handle on is just not sounding 'as written' to my ears. How did this happen, and what do I do ARRRGGGGHHHHHh *headslam x 10,000*

[atheos]

The guy obviously expects perfection; it could be a good or a bad thing. Bad if he's just being and a-hole without any particular reason, good thing if the increased pressure is just a psychological trick which leads into outstanding performances across the band. Not a nice trick but it often works when exercised carefully enough not to cause total mental breakdown. Easy to go over the edge, though.

Do your very best. Either he respects it and you have nothing to worry about or he yells at you again in which case I would walk away. Life's too short to voluntarily tolerate crap like that without a reason.

[colcifer]

Get the rhythms down first. A missing note won't be noticed so much if the line is otherwise played in perfect time.

[Jefenator]

I'd probably be in the same boat - IME it's hard to be an ace reader without doing it all the time. I sort of got my butt kicked on a pit gig last year - fortunately the conductor was too busy to be putting me under the microscope.

It is a bit mysterious as to why the MD has suddenly gotten so anal. If he calls you back for more shows, I guess that means you passed the "test". If not, well, if he wanted a total reader he should have hired one in the first place. (If one is not available for whatever reason, it might behoove him to not be riding you too too hard.)

Good luck with the show. One way or the other, you WILL get through it and it will make you stronger. Someday you'll even look back and laugh.

[reedo35]

Originally Posted by sleeplessknight

Most songs have a written-out bass part, but I mistakenly figured that it was similar to last time where I'd just pick out the specific licks and whatnot, and read the sheet down chart-wise.

This was the Flag for me. IME, when a Bass part is written note for note, it is generally because it complements or interacts with other parts, and if you improv your own stuff, it throws everything off.
So Yeah, It happens to everybody, at one time or another who plays in that type of situation. The only advice I can give is to chalk it up to experience as a wake up call, and shed the parts as best you can.

[HeadyVan Halen]

Yeah dude it happens...I never have problem with locking into the drums....ever. At rehearsal, a couple weeks back I couldn't even play with the kick...Stopped playing and left for 10-15 minutes to get my head together and came back better..it happens. Just like in sports or whatever, you have off-days

Don't let it shake you though..once they see you've lost confidence, they won't approve of anything you play

Keep playin' dude

[cirrusb2002]

So, sleepless knight, how did the gig go? My reading skills are in the same ballpark as yours, I get a lot of calls for pits, etc, because I can woodshed, or intuitively play the parts, work with the piano, etc. I totally understand your angst.
What happened, dude? Inquiring minds want to know!

[sleeplessknight]

It was... alright. I didn't get Buddy Rich'd off the stage or anything, but I definitely got the Brow of Doom once or twice. I did let the MD know before the gig started that while a handful of the tunes were totally my fault for not having the written lines down, there were a couple of notable exceptions that, due to the complicated nature of the material, I would've really needed more than the 3 days given for the chart. He seemed cool with that, and we got through the gig. HE even made a couple mistakes! All in all, the lead man and the singers didn't notice anything, and that means the audience didn't notice anything.

I still don't want to have to go through that agonizing "I am SOOOO not prepared for what the MD wants" feeling EVER AGAIN.

[reedo35]

Like I said, Just consider this a wake up call,and chalk it up to experience. The only way to get better at sight reading is to do it, so get yourself some written bass charts and get busy!

[Jefenator]

Glad you made it through! (Had a feeling you would.)

An occasional stress-out does one good, I find. As long as it doesn't become your way of life.

[Steve Clark]

Been there done that. My joke to myself is that one of these gigs i'll reach my highest level of incompetency and the worst that happens is I don't get called again. So far I keep getting the calls. I keep my eyes and ears open on those types of gigs and usually the folks I am working with are generous in helping each other.

The most recent situation was doing a gig and reading some George Shearing parts which pretty much have to be nailed. There were two places where the bass had a pick up or 'solo' and on rehearsal I missed the conductor cue. Piano player "You've got that Steve". Oops. So I talked to conductor after and there was not problem just an understanding that I would not screw it up next time. I asked for really clear count in. Come show time I didn't get given the count but just had to go when it felt right so the conductor messed up instead.

And the conductor booked me for two more shows in 2011.

[insain]

i commend you for taking it seriously

[N.F.A.]

Good job following through and taking care of business. That says tons of good things about you as a person and musician. Well done bass brother!

[rtslinger]

Originally Posted by sleeplessknight

It was... alright. I didn't get Buddy Rich'd off the stage or anything, but I definitely got the Brow of Doom once or twice. I did let the MD know before the gig started that while a handful of the tunes were totally my fault for not having the written lines down, there were a couple of notable exceptions that, due to the complicated nature of the material, I would've really needed more than the 3 days given for the chart. He seemed cool with that, and we got through the gig. HE even made a couple mistakes! All in all, the lead man and the singers didn't notice anything, and that means the audience didn't notice anything.

I still don't want to have to go through that agonizing "I am SOOOO not prepared for what the MD wants" feeling EVER AGAIN.

Glad to see you went through with it most would have cracked and walked away. A true entertainer takes the good with the bad and shines in the under pressure times. Good Job you make us proud!

[sleeplessknight]

Hehe thanks all, for the well wishes and good vibes. Yeah, this was DEFINITELY a wake-up call. I've been working with an instructor on stuff like sight-reading and transcription for a couple of months now, and I *thought* I was getting pretty good at it. Turns out that strings of 8th-notes are REALLY GOOD for note recognition, but when faced with different rhythms, syncopated lines, etc, things get "interesting" I've had the bass score for Rent kicking around for a couple of weeks now, I think that's going to be my next personal project.

[jive1]

Based on your attitude, I think you're going to do just fine. You know your shortcomings, and you're candid with them, but not comfortable enough with them to let it just pass. You know what you need to work on, and you are willing to do it.

I find this attitude to be more inclined to succeed than guys who make excuses, blame the director, blame the musicians, blame the charts, go sour grapes on how the music is lame, think that whatever they do is just fine, complain about how the MD is killing your feel, or whatever lame excuse is out there.


You have a desire to improve, and that's alot better than many.

Best of work to you. (I'd use the word luck, but that would take away from your effort)