Sometimes an audition doesnt go exactly as you expect....

jowens004 · #1 07-23-2011, 08:47 PM

Tonight, I had an audition with a local band. I found these guys on Craigslist. From the ad,I could tell that I knew all the material, and they said they were all in their 40's like me, and were seasoned musicians. So I called the drummer up on the phone and talked to him for like an hour. He seemed pretty knowledgeable and sounded like a good guy. He said they had been playing around for the last couple of years a couple of times a month, and had lost their bass player when he moved out of town for work. So it sounded like it was at least worth an audition. So they sent me the song list, mostly classic rock. They had alot of stuff on their I had never heard anyone do, Journey, Styx, Van Halen. So I was like wow they must have a great singer and a great guitar player. So I was excited, and quickly brushed up on all the material. I already knew 90% of the set list, so I spent about 6 or 7 hours learning everything else to the T.

So I show up tonight, They have a nice PA, the Drummer has a killer set of Sonor drums. Im thinking to myself, yea this might be good. The guitar player had a little Marshall 2x12 combo, and the singer played acoustic and keyboards. He also had some nice gear as well. Then they all arrived and we talked for a few mins, questioning me on what I know on the set list. They were impressed that I said I know the whole set and we can just run thru the whole list from the top.

So the first song starts, and im like concentrating as hard as I can not to just stop and roll on the floor laughing my ass off. The singer sounded like someone tied his balls in a knot with surgical tubing. The guitar player had the thinnest crappiest 3rd grade guitar sound Ive ever heard, oh and the drummer? Geeze, I could put my 11 year old son behind the drums (and he has never played the drums except in the music store while I look at bass amps) and he would have been 100 times better than this guy. So I think about my next move while were limping our way thru the song. I decide, what the hell, I havnt played with a band in a year or so, and I do have this new little combo amp that ive never used with a band before. SO I decide I will just limp my way thru the night and make the best of it and show them how a REAL musician handles an awkward moment.

The whole time, song after song, was so excruciatingly painful to listen to that it was all i could do to keep from dieing laughing. I have never, in my entire 30 years of being a musician, heard 3 guys that butchered music the way these guys did. Im serious, If they practiced every day for the rest of their life, they still wouldn't have as much musical ability as I had after the first 20 minutes I had learning how to play bass when I was 14.

So, sometimes an audition just doesn't go as you expect it. I so wanted to tell them, that my first band in Junior High school kicked their ass so far in the ground that they should sell all their equipment and take up some other hobby, but being a professional, I just politely told them "Thank you" and I have another band im auditioning for tomorrow, and I will let them know in a day or two if I want to play with them again.

Hopefully the audition tomorrow goes MUCH better than this one.

jellymax · #2 07-23-2011, 09:02 PM

here is an even tougher situation. you concentrate on playing best as you can at an
audition only to realize the band is decent, but not as good as you had hoped for
then what you do is ummmmm ahhhh wellllll i a ummm.

compunded by the fact that they want you for the job

tom once dead · #3 07-23-2011, 09:09 PM

The only 'audition' I've ever done was for a local original metal band that had just started playing shows. They had no bass tabs or anything for me to go off, so when I turned up I just watched what the guitarist was doing and played along. Everyone was pretty amazed that I had 'learned' the songs so quick and easily. I was in that band for the good part of a year, did some gigs with big name bands. I only left the band when I moved to another city with my other band.

hrodbert696 · #4 07-24-2011, 05:39 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jowens004

I so wanted to tell them, that my first band in Junior High school kicked their ass so far in the ground that they should sell all their equipment and take up some other hobby, but being a professional, I just politely told them "Thank you" and I have another band im auditioning for tomorrow, and I will let them know in a day or two if I want to play with them again.

You did the right thing. Just goes to show the difference between blowing a pile of money on gear and actually being able to make music.

xxfaux_punkxx · #5 07-24-2011, 05:51 AM

wow... that's bad. I couldn't imagine spending that much cash on gear only to suck so harshly....

mongo2 · #6 07-24-2011, 06:59 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jowens004

The singer sounded like someone tied his balls in a knot with surgical tubing.

Silicone sounds better.

PastorofMuppets · #7 07-24-2011, 07:02 AM

That was quite funny.
I admire your skill at keeping the joke to yourself.

BassNeo · #8 07-24-2011, 07:04 AM

It would only be funnier if they called you and said you weren't a good fit and they were getting someone else.

Good on you for taking the high road. Hopefully your next audition will be more fruitful.

JeffBTZ · #9 07-24-2011, 07:12 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mongo2

Silicone sounds better.

What is the best kind of surgical tubing for metal?

That's a good story. I'm not sure I'd be able to actually pull off the whole not laughing thing... I'd lose my mind.

fhm555 · #10 07-24-2011, 09:24 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by xxfaux_punkxx

wow... that's bad. I couldn't imagine spending that much cash on gear only to suck so harshly....

If only competent musicians bought gear, there would be no gear stores for them to patronize.

Gard · #11 07-24-2011, 11:03 AM

Windermere, eh?

...so...what is it with guys (and girls) in the Orlando area thinkin' they "got it"????

Here's my experience, from back in the late 90's:

Ouch.

I'd guess if you were IN Windermere or Winter Park when this happened, it was a bunch of lawyers and accountants trying to be cool....and missing the mark by a mile. Had that experience more than a few times....

(...not trying to lump you in with them, by the way, I've also played with some absolutely fabulous players in those parts of Central Florida...)

MisterFabulous · #12 07-24-2011, 11:19 AM

Hey, if they're happy doing what they're doing (and no one bursts their bubble), what's the harm?

They seriously weren't clued in?

We found our drummer from Craigslist and he's a very able drummer and a good fit. As a beginner bassist, I'm the slacker.

jowens004 · #13 07-24-2011, 12:25 PM

Yea they thought they were really good sounding. I just did not have the heart to break the news to them. Who knows, in 20 or 30 years they might be able to carry a tune in a bucket, who am I to thwart their ambition. I mean hell, when I first started out Im sure I sucked pretty hard too. But I practiced until I didn't. At least they are trying. they knew all the songs, and made it thru every one. Ive never heard gimme 3 steps with a shuffle beat though, lol.

These guys weren't lawyers, they were just hard working guys with delusions of stardom. Ive seen the complex before, and its best to let them live on in their dream world and leave them in peace.

These are the prime people who keep music stores in business.

doubled331 · #14 07-24-2011, 01:41 PM

Hahaha at least you were professional about it. Sounds like a nightmare.

Just Bill · #15 07-24-2011, 01:56 PM

Having grown up in Winter Garden, I knew some incredible musicians in and around Windermere.

MrLenny1 · #16 07-24-2011, 02:47 PM

Craigslist can be a nightmare. There are very few real players on Craigslist.
Most of the working guys recruit among themselves.
I had 2 auditions thru CL. First one I was told, "Dude you're old" as I was walking thru the door. Second one half the band did not show that night. Did not go back.

jowens004 · #17 07-24-2011, 08:19 PM

Yea CL hasnt paid off for me at all so far. I dont even have any really lofty goals about this, all I want is to find some decent guys to jam with and maybe play a time or two every now and then. anything more would be great but thats all i really want at the moment. Im still trying to figure out if my Carpel Tunnel is under control or not.

cassanova · #18 07-25-2011, 05:21 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Gard

Windermere, eh?

...so...what is it with guys (and girls) in the Orlando area thinkin' they "got it"????

This problem is not exclusive to Orlando. It's quite common in Pasco/Pinellas too. I guess I missed the memo that stated "ego is more important than talent."

Granted, they're are quite a few good musicians too, but it seems like they are the exception rather than the norm.

ReginaldPLinux · #19 07-25-2011, 05:50 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by xxfaux_punkxx

wow... that's bad. I couldn't imagine spending that much cash on gear only to suck so harshly....

I don't have to imagine

RustyAxe · #20 07-25-2011, 07:18 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jowens004

they were just hard working guys with delusions of stardom. Ive seen the complex before, and its best to let them live on in their dream world and leave them in peace.

Nice way to look at it, really.

Quote:

These are the prime people who keep music stores in business.

And make expensive gear available at "used" prices to us poor musicians!