Stupid things your bandmates have said. - Page 6

Goatee220 · #**101** 04-14-2011, 11:11 AM

Guitarist to me (playing bass and running sound from the stage) "The bar manager wants us to turn down"
Me: "Sure. I can only turn down the vocals, acoustic guitars and my bass amp, you guys will have to turn down your guitar amps"
Him: "How come?"
Me: "The vocals and acoustic guitars are the only things running through the PA"
Him: "The drums are too loud, can we turn them down?"
Me: "Um, they aren't miked, Tom will have to just play lighter"
Him: "How do we get him to do that?"
Me: "Um, not sure, maybe we could just ask him? He's right next to you"

TheRealKong · #**102** 04-14-2011, 03:49 PM

There are those three "big lies" in the world of guitarists.

The first one is: "I sent the cheque to you right yesterday."
The second one: "Yeah, for sure I practised on this one."
The third one: "I already turned down the volume..."

I just had a fight with some musicians that "quitted" with me last week thursday by bringing my gear to my house and telling me, that there are "human and musical differences", that didn't allow to keep me in the band.... It was a grindcore band, both guitars tuned in drop-C, two high-gain-valve-amps (Peavey Triple-X and a Rivera 100 Watt "***-High-Gain "Squail-In-Pain""...). I use a Marshall MB 4410 with a Ampeg 410 underneath, I play a MM SR5.

The one guitarist using that Rivera was upset with his sound, not enough gain (!!!!), and so he started experimentation with them Power-Amp-Tubes. He had no idea of adjusting the tube-bias od buying selected tubes, so he bought some, somebody told him "they would sound super-heavy".

OK, first rehearshall with new tubes, a clean part, the sound was **cking awfull, verry deep, verry loud, only clang - boom, you could hear nothing but his guitar screaming for help.

The whole band stopped playing, and I told him: "Man, that was too deep, we could not even hear something but your dinning guitar!" He told us: "This is a effect I use allways on this part. OK,the rehearshall-room is too small, maybe. But on stage, this will be a wonderfull effect!" You have to know that the rehearshall-room is in the house owned by this guitarrist.

Two weeks later the other guitarist hauled my complete gear to my place. So I avoided a lot of work, but otherwise I felt like a 13-year-aged teenager who did get his jacket back by a friend of his girl, telling him that "Joe-Ann don't want to date You anymore....."

I told the second guitarist and the drummer, just to be carefull with this guy. So the drummer called me because he wanted to talk to me.

You got to know, I missed te last rehearshall, but I was excused. So they met anyway and played without bass. "Without the bass the sound was much more airy, lighter, it was better", he said. I told him, that in a band, doing grind-core with guitars in drop-C, with a guitarist that knows nothing about his amp, his sound and tube-technics, if there one instrument missing, the sound will be lighter, better hearable, in the end, better.

They decidet to stay in this cast: Two guitars and a drummer. I'll wait and see.... ;-))

logicman69 · #**103** 04-14-2011, 04:22 PM

These are great! One of the most entertaining threads on TB in a while..

So here is mine:
Me and my guitarist were talking about new songs for the cover band (top 40 female fronted). He said we were running out of songs for our singer to sing (he has a serious issue with girls singing "guy songs"). We were tossing ideas back and forth and I said we should do "Kiss Me Deadly". He flat out says no, were not doing in because it is not "relevant" anymore. I said I thought it would go over and we should at least try it. He than said to me (in a patronizing voice) "Well, when you get into your own band, you can make the song list and play that song".... ummmm ok, so now I'm just a hired hand ment to back you up? I don't think I talked to him for the rest of the night.

On another occasion we were playing a bar and went into "I Kissed A Girl". I use some distortion in the chorus to comp the synth part. The guitar player looks at me and says "wow, that sounds like crap". I told him it was the same sound I had been using for the past 9 months. He then walked accross the stage and shut off my pedal board (I came very close to punching him over this). A week later we were learning "Shipping Up To Boston" and he told me he wanted some overdrive on the bass to fill it out. So I kicked on the same distortion setting I always use. The guitar player looks at me and says "Wow, that sound awsome! You should use that sound for all your distortion parts". /facepalm

frankenjazz · #**104** 04-14-2011, 04:52 PM

just got off the phone with a former band mate that reminded me of a good one, its the same guy i posted about earlier telling me that a real bassist dosent need a drummer to groove. it was about a month before we began recording the album and we had just finished up playing a funk song the sax player had written, everyone was giving each other feedback (it was a band with 2 guitarists, a keys player, two sax, a flutist,4 singers (one main 3 back up) a drummer and a percussionist) making sure noone was stepping on each others toes musically speaking, everyone is happy with each other's parts, and the band leader turns to me and says(in a thick thick texas accent) "you know i really like what youre playing but it needs something"
me: "like what?"
him"something to make it REAL funky"
me:"ok...."
him"play it just the way you played it but with a pick"
me"i dont know man, i dont really play funk with a pick"
him(the former bandmate and myself remember him saying him saying the EXACT same thing so this is to my knowledge verbatim): and just why the hell not, dont you know JACK-O played with a pick thee entire time he was in MAHARISHNU ORCHESTRA? and you like JACK-O dont you?

JoZac21 · #**105** 04-15-2011, 12:03 PM

"i'm thinking of releasing our album as three different albums, under three different band names" - my main band's leader...

He can have some crazy ideas, many of which actually turn out really cool, but when he said this I seriously thought of leaving the band, which would be a shame since the music's good, but that just sounds like musical suicide for a new band.

88ric2030 · #**106** 04-20-2011, 03:35 PM

Drummer in the last band I was in, whenever we played a Stones cover at practice, said without fail, "I don't like the way Charlie comes off the hi hat".

kesslari · #**107** 04-20-2011, 03:58 PM

Quote:

and just why the hell not, dont you know JACK-O played with a pick thee entire time he was in MAHARISHNU ORCHESTRA? and you like JACK-O dont you?

Here I thought JACK-O was something you did with a *different* instrument in your hand...

lindseyp · #**108** 04-20-2011, 04:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Joe Nerve

Did an out of state cover gig. Were supposed to get $400. The bar was empty. Maybe 5 people. At payment time owner says, "How bout we do a little better than what we agreed upon?" Guitarist says, and is 100% serious... "Sure! What are ya thinking... like maybe $500?".

This is the businessman in your group, don't ever let him go!

noahw1 · #**109** 04-20-2011, 04:34 PM

Played in a band for a while with a guitar player who loved vinyl. Before I had joined the band they recorded their second album and he had it only put out on vinyl but it took forever for him to get it pressed. I urged him to get some cds done too because not that many people have record players today and i was constantly being asked by my friends for cd. He told me that if they wanted to hear it they could make a tape of the vinyl and listen to the cassette!

He also said he would rather one person heard the recording sounding as great as it did on vinyl then 100 listening to a "crappy" cd recording.

Same guy felt that practicing three times a week was the only way to get really tight as a band but refused to practice on his own saying that it was pointless and he didn't want to become a "shredder." Uh, okay.

kaiuk · #**110** 04-20-2011, 04:56 PM

I play in two high school jazz band. One big band and a combo. Today in the big band we happened to be playing I got you ( I feel good) by james brown. One of our six guitards ( i know) happened to take a solo that was ripe with tapping, sweeps, shredding and an overall metal feel. After the song he asked me how i liked his arpeggiated tapping sweep stacatto whatsits to which i replied: you played in B major, despite the fact that i told you twice and circled in your music that it was Bbm. he then explained to me how there really wasnt a difference and how his style fit the music.

Rockmusician · #**111** 04-20-2011, 05:09 PM

I had a couple of others that I forgot about in my first response. I joined a touring blues band. The lead guitarist/singer told me that we were all equals and all received equal pay. When we started playing some high profile gigs he told us that we were just hired guns and could be replaced at any time. That obviously didn't go well.

The worst time was when he was having a disagreement with our drummer who happened to be the only black member of the band. The guitarist had promised another band that they could use our gear without consulting us. I told him that I wouldn't let them use my primary amp but they could use the one I kept as a back up. The drummer told him that he didn't feel comfortable letting someone else use his drums and said they should make other arrangements. Well, the guitarist went crazy and started calling him all kinds of names using racial slurs in the process. I spoke to the other members of the band and suggested that we agree to play out the rest of the tour and then leave the band. When I told the guitarist, he cancelled all the gigs and threatened to sue us for breach of contract. When I reminded him that we agreed to play the remaining gigs and that he was the one who cancelled the gigs he decided that he wasn't going to pursue legal action. We never played with him again. The funny thing is that he no longer tours and is back to playing some of the dumpiest bars in the area.

chaseman · #**112** 04-20-2011, 05:11 PM

Not really music related, but it is an example of the level of intelligence my guitard possesses.

Me, the guitarist and the drummer were walking back from a show, when we randomly thought it would be fun to think of all the capital cities we could (dont ask why) and the drummer suggested Singapore , as he was born there. I, being in a witty mood, jokingly said 'Singa-rich'. The drummer and I shared a smile, but the guitard looked completely and utterly flummoxed. I said to the drummer "hang on Sam, keep your ears open, that penny is going to be mighty loud when it drops", and sure enough, a good minute later, I swear I heard a 'ping' as the guitarist's face lit up with elation. There are many more situations like this, if I can remember them.

MatticusMania · #**113** 04-20-2011, 05:13 PM

Our keys player, in reference to showing up at the very last possible minute before we are supposed to set up. Had he been any later our set would have been pushed back about an hour. He says "Thats our thing" and I had to tell him, as if he doesnt know, that that is not a good "thing" to be known for.

tangentmusic · #**114** 04-20-2011, 05:14 PM

Drummer: Hey man, help me polish my cymbals before the gig.
Me: You're serious, arent you?

bannybassman · #**115** 04-20-2011, 05:17 PM

First practice with a new band, guitarist picks up a guitar tuner and says:
"do any of you guys know what this does?"
;P

kaiuk · #**116** 04-20-2011, 05:19 PM

Theres a guitard at my school. he plays heavy metal and the only scale he knows is the richter scale. anyway, he had a gig coming up in two and a half days and bass player walked out on him. he asked me to do it. He made a long sob email telling me how he practices in the bathroom till 3 AM every day until his fingers bleed. Because his basslines are just me playing alternating open a and D strings (something he wont let me change) and because i play jazz, not metal i declined. he then replied with "how hard can it be you are just the ****ing bass player". unfortunately for him, his drummer left the band the day after. he will still play the gig but now hes gonna play while being backed by guitar pro....

ThrashtillDeath · #**117** 04-21-2011, 10:13 AM

Drummer: Dude last night i googled drumming, and did you know Im supposed to keep the tempo?
(me and guitarist look at each other)
Me: What have you been doing for the last year then?
Drummer: Uhhh, nevermind. Lets keep playing.

kaiuk · #**118** 04-21-2011, 03:19 PM

Guitard: its ok, we'll get payed in lasagna!

Stilettoprefer · #**119** 04-21-2011, 03:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kaiuk

Guitard: its ok, we'll get payed in lasagna!

I'd be cool with that!

kcole4001 · #**120** 04-21-2011, 03:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rockmusician

I had a couple of others that I forgot about in my first response. I joined a touring blues band. The lead guitarist/singer told me that we were all equals and all received equal pay. When we started playing some high profile gigs he told us that we were just hired guns and could be replaced at any time. That obviously didn't go well.

The worst time was when he was having a disagreement with our drummer who happened to be the only black member of the band. The guitarist had promised another band that they could use our gear without consulting us. I told him that I wouldn't let them use my primary amp but they could use the one I kept as a back up. The drummer told him that he didn't feel comfortable letting someone else use his drums and said they should make other arrangements. Well, the guitarist went crazy and started calling him all kinds of names using racial slurs in the process. I spoke to the other members of the band and suggested that we agree to play out the rest of the tour and then leave the band. When I told the guitarist, he cancelled all the gigs and threatened to sue us for breach of contract. When I reminded him that we agreed to play the remaining gigs and that he was the one who cancelled the gigs he decided that he wasn't going to pursue legal action. We never played with him again. The funny thing is that he no longer tours and is back to playing some of the dumpiest bars in the area.

That's karma.