Trials of a Mid-life Crisis Bass Player... - Page 4

Count Bassie · #61 02-04-2013, 12:30 PM

Sounds like a very good time was had by all. Nice!

Love the part about your 6 year-old directing your friend around the place, hanging decorations. Fun visual.

MadMark5 · #62 02-04-2013, 05:30 PM

Great thread....
I'm 39, been playing since I was 14, and while Ive played gigs I thought would be at the top of my list i.e. in front of 5000 people or CBGB's, my absolute favorite and most frightening gig was when I finally did a family friendly venue and my 8 year old step daughter got to watch me in a band setting.
Her review? I did ok, but why didnt we play Katy Perry or Big Time Rush? And why dont I jump around like that when I play at home??
Ill take seeing her smile as I play over a sold out stadium anyday. Of course 23 year old me would say I'm a pussy lolol

Count Bassie · #63 02-04-2013, 05:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MadMark5

Great thread....

...
Ill take seeing her smile as I play over a sold out stadium anyday. Of course 23 year old me would say I'm a pussy lolol

Nah, 23 year-old you would just feel sort of sorry for you.

davedblyoo · #64 02-04-2013, 07:10 PM

I just turned 50. I picked up the bass at 17 and have spent most of the last 33 years gigging. Playing bass has been the one constant in my life and right now it's helping me deal with the stress of what is turning into my fourth divorce.

**RaginRog** · #65 02-04-2013, 07:14 PM

Oh Man, we're like brothers...I'm 41...haven't been playing as long, but I am regularly gigging, and my wife is 14 1/2 weeks pregnant with twins....I'm excited...and terrified all at once.

**RaginRog** · #66 02-04-2013, 07:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jelly6466

Member #3 here. I am 45, twin 8 year old girls and it doesn't matter what time I get home from playing the night before, my girls are bouncing on my head trying to wake me at 6:30 despite my wifes best efforts to stop them. The days of having even so much as a beer at a show are long gone for me, the next morning starts too early.

Quote:

Originally Posted by pgolliher

Yes, exactly the same for me, except my twins are two. It is funny how they seem to know when I gig and am out late- they seem to wake up even earlier the next day... it's impossible to hold a grudge against someone wearing footsie jammies though.

Any advice for a soon-to-be father of twins? I know I must buy a shotgun for when they're old enough to date; be ready for a lot of sleepness nights, and diaper duty x2...

two fingers · #67 02-04-2013, 07:22 PM

Can't help with twins. But I have 1 and 3 year old girls. Man, when we got ready to start having kids, I was like most guys. I wanted a boy to throw rocks, shoot guns, get dirty, and basically be stupid with. But I wouldn't trade my girls for 50 boys. There's nothing in this world like Daddy's little girls. Best thing ever. Cover me in fairy clothes and tea parties. I don't care. Thank Heaven for little girls.

But buy the shotgun now. Start practicing.

Count Bassie · #68 02-04-2013, 07:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by two fingers

Can't help with twins. But I have 1 and 3 year old girls. Man, when we got ready to start having kids, I was like most guys. I wanted a boy to throw rocks, shoot guns, get dirty, and basically be stupid with. But I wouldn't trade my girls for 50 boys. There's nothing in this world like Daddy's little girls. Best thing ever. Cover me in fairy clothes and tea parties. I don't care. Thank Heaven for little girls.

But buy the shotgun now. Start practicing.

Lol! Or you could learn Wing-Chun Kung Fu... and it's good for you, too! Plus side is you can teach them. Mine are 12 and 14, and I'm looking to get them learned up by high school!

Twins... same as one, only do it again.

boristhespider9 · #69 02-04-2013, 07:34 PM

I'm there.

But, looking at this from another angle...sometimes I marvel about how many things I actually fit in a day and how it all turns out pretty well in the end. The main sacrifice is sleep, but it's kind of satisfying when you feel like you're pulling off "having it all." One minute you're trudging away at the day job, the next minute at a kid's birthday party, the next fixing the latest home furnishing your kids found a way to break, and the next you're under the stage lights rocking out to a full house like you're 23 again. As tired as I might be the next day (or few days), it's kind of cool to be able to pull all that off. It's not always one or the other...sometimes you can do it all if you schedule it well and set appropriate boundaries (and have a supportive spouse). And it does indeed separate you from the drones as another poster mentioned above. It's always cool to tell another dad at the Jupiter Jump that later that evening you'll be playing a gig a "x."

I should mention that my first son arrived three weeks early on a Wednesday morning. Wife let me practice on Thursday and gig on that Saturday! I owed her for that one!

Kmonk · #70 02-04-2013, 07:40 PM

My situation is a little different but I have gone through some periods where I wasn't sure that I wanted to continue playing. I'm 52, have a 23 year old son and a wife who is very supportive of my playing. I took the last 6 years off from gigging after leaving my last project due to the guitar player/BL skimming money and doing drugs. I looked for another band but never seemed to find one that was the right fit. I was still practicing every week but had gotten to the point where I figured I wouldn't play in a band again and decided to sell all my gear except for one bass. I put all of it on Craigslist and the following day, a friend whom I had known for 30 years but I had never played with called and asked if I wanted to start a new project with him. I decided to do it. He had a drummer so we started auditioning singers. Then the drummer got hurt and couldn't play for a while. We decided to wait until he was healthy which took about 8 months. We found a great singer and keyboard player and did our first gig on Friday night. It was the best sound I have ever heard from any band that I have been in and the response was great. We were immediately booked for another gig. I never had so much fun at a gig. I can't wait to do the next one.

Count Bassie · #71 02-04-2013, 07:41 PM

Yep, great thread.

boristhespider9 · #72 02-04-2013, 08:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by RaginRog

Any advice for a soon-to-be father of twins? I know I must buy a shotgun for when they're old enough to date; be ready for a lot of sleepness nights, and diaper duty x2...

Notwithstanding my story above, if you haven't already, make a block of time after the due date during which you won't be available to the band in any way. Maybe your spouse is understanding and it's a good outlet, etc., but you'll score points if you are completely available for 4-6 weeks. Then get back into it.

Count Bassie · #73 02-04-2013, 08:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by boristhespider9

Notwithstanding my story above, if you haven't already, make a block of time after the due date during which you won't be available to the band in any way. Maybe your spouse is understanding and it's a good outlet, etc., but you'll score points if you are completely available for 4-6 weeks. Then get back into it.

Good advice. Besides, it's pretty cool to hang with the babies! But- I gotta say the truth- yeah, you're going to have to go outside at some point...

boristhespider9 · #74 02-04-2013, 08:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Count Bassie

Good advice. Besides, it's pretty cool to hang with the babies! But- I gotta say the truth- yeah, you're going to have to go outside at some point...

Going outside...good. Going to band practice...risky. Gigging...playing with fire.

**RaginRog** · #75 02-04-2013, 08:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by two fingers

Can't help with twins. But I have 1 and 3 year old girls. Man, when we got ready to start having kids, I was like most guys. I wanted a boy to throw rocks, shoot guns, get dirty, and basically be stupid with. But I wouldn't trade my girls for 50 boys. There's nothing in this world like Daddy's little girls. Best thing ever. Cover me in fairy clothes and tea parties. I don't care. Thank Heaven for little girls.

But buy the shotgun now. Start practicing.

Lol...I had a step daughter years ago from the time she was 5 until 12...she was a wonderful girl even while her mother and I went through our divorce. She's about 21 now and found me on Facebook last year just to say hello...it was really nice of her. I think my wife is having girls because she didn't have morning sickness. Apparently there's a myth that women end up having girls if they don't get sick. That's what I'm guessing we're having. I'm perfectly fine with it, and only hope that they're healthy.

two fingers · #76 02-04-2013, 08:13 PM

Ha! My wife and I are great together, so don't take this the wrong way. (We talk a lot of "smack" to each other.) A few weeks after our youngest was born, my wife said to me "Baby, I love you. But if you don't go play a gig or something and get out from under me for a few hours I just might have to kill you........ in the face."

I love that little delicate flower.

**RaginRog** · #77 02-04-2013, 08:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by boristhespider9

Notwithstanding my story above, if you haven't already, make a block of time after the due date during which you won't be available to the band in any way. Maybe your spouse is understanding and it's a good outlet, etc., but you'll score points if you are completely available for 4-6 weeks. Then get back into it.

Great advice, and I have informed my band that I need the month of August off. My wife does wan't me to continue playing too, which is great. I'm fortunate in that regard.

two fingers · #78 02-04-2013, 08:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by RaginRog

Apparently there's a myth that women end up having girls if they don't get sick. That's what I'm guessing we're having. I'm perfectly fine with it, and only hope that they're healthy.

My wife threw up her guts for a few weeks with both of our girls. Either way, you can't lose. Kids are the best.

As far as the step daughter, that's really cool. 5 to 12 is a really important time! Have you guys stayed in touch?

two fingers · #79 02-04-2013, 08:16 PM

And by the way, before any of yuze guys bring it up, I ain't getn no minivan! Not gonna happen!

Count Bassie · #80 02-04-2013, 08:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by two fingers

Ha! My wife and I are great together, so don't take this the wrong way. (We talk a lot of "smack" to each other.) A few weeks after our youngest was born, my wife said to me "Baby, I love you. But if you don't go play a gig or something and get out from under me for a few hours I just might have to kill you........ in the face."

I love that little delicate flower.

You done good.