Venting my frustration

fettbass · #1 02-23-2008, 04:10 AM

Im sitting here typing this at 6 am, my gig ended around midnight, but I just can't get over how dissatisfied I am with my band. We had a 40 minute setlist that the geetard absolutely stumbled through. He put so much delay on his guitar that nobody could hear what he was playing, and he dropped solos to the point that I had to step in and rescue him on three of his solos. He fiddled with equipment, forgot chord changes, and he made us take an impromptu 10 minute break. I found out it was because he forgot what his parts were from some songs coming up, and i had to take his guitar and teach him them. I joined this band off of craigslist, and it wasn't this bad before, i just don't know what happened! This is apparently the guitarists band, but i'm tired of booking all the gigs, babysitting him and the singer, and not being able to be proud of my performances. On top of all that, the singer's a tool! He can't really play any instruments, yet tries to write songs, which i basically do for him, then he credits them to himself because he came up with the lyrics. He has this know it all attitude. For example one songs has a little slap bass solo. After the show, he told me I was playing allright, but during the slap bass solo, some parts were too thumpy (the slap) and some parts were too twangy (the pop), and that next time is should make it sound completely even. He also told me my amp was giving feedback even though it was a ground hum. Sorry for the rant, i'm just very awake when i shouldn't be, and very upset. I guess if anything, im wondering if you guys can think of a tactful way for me to get out of this band.

ysand · #2 02-23-2008, 04:32 AM

hmm, seems that the easiest way is to tell them that it's not working for you anymore and that it would be better for you to leave since you're not enjoying this.

meev992 · #3 02-23-2008, 04:34 AM

sounds like you've had a rough evening.

consider moving out, it should be good for you.

fettbass · #4 02-23-2008, 04:41 AM

I know, and I'm fine with leaving them with all the songs i wrote, like i don't even care anymore. It's just i can't believe i let it get this bad. Heck, I know a great drummer, and a great female vocalist who can do kickass metal vocals. I have no idea why I haven't started something with them. I don't have to be in some silly singer songwriter folky band just because I'd feel guilty leaving them to book all the gigs and write all the songs, right?

meev992 · #5 02-23-2008, 04:43 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by fettbass

I don't have to be in some silly singer songwriter folky band just because I'd feel guilty leaving them to book all the gigs and write all the songs, right?

sometimes tough decisions have to be made. I left my previous band because there was a serious lack of song-writing talent and the drummer couldn't do doubles. However, the practice space was sweet and it was close by. Now, I'm much happier, and with a more commercially viable band. Life has a way of nudging you in the right direction.

James Hart · #6 02-23-2008, 04:47 AM

I find that my philosophy of recording everything helps here. If you play back the gig to the band and they cannot hear the flaws, time to move them on (or move on yourself).

Lots of people that suck, don't know it.

fettbass · #7 02-23-2008, 04:52 AM

That recording idea is pretty good actually. Hrmm, the sun is rising, i guess it's time to try and sleep eh?

BillMason · #8 02-23-2008, 05:05 AM

Don't waste time recording, just RUN!!! RUN NOW AND RUN FAST AND DON'T LOOK BACK!!!

They suck, you don't, move on dude!

Shovelbone · #9 02-23-2008, 05:39 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by fettbass

Im sitting here typing this at 6 am, my gig ended around midnight, but I just can't get over how dissatisfied I am with my band. We had a 40 minute setlist that the geetard absolutely stumbled through. He put so much delay on his guitar that nobody could hear what he was playing, and he dropped solos to the point that I had to step in and rescue him on three of his solos. He fiddled with equipment, forgot chord changes, and he made us take an impromptu 10 minute break. I found out it was because he forgot what his parts were from some songs coming up, and i had to take his guitar and teach him them. I joined this band off of craigslist, and it wasn't this bad before, i just don't know what happened! This is apparently the guitarists band, but i'm tired of booking all the gigs, babysitting him and the singer, and not being able to be proud of my performances. On top of all that, the singer's a tool! He can't really play any instruments, yet tries to write songs, which i basically do for him, then he credits them to himself because he came up with the lyrics. He has this know it all attitude. For example one songs has a little slap bass solo. After the show, he told me I was playing allright, but during the slap bass solo, some parts were too thumpy (the slap) and some parts were too twangy (the pop), and that next time is should make it sound completely even. He also told me my amp was giving feedback even though it was a ground hum. Sorry for the rant, i'm just very awake when i shouldn't be, and very upset. I guess if anything, im wondering if you guys can think of a tactful way for me to get out of this band.

Run Forrest Run!!!!!!

meev992 · #10 02-23-2008, 05:46 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Shovelbone

Run Forrest Run!!!!!!

invader3k · #11 02-24-2008, 02:11 PM

Just meet up with them and say "Guys, I don't feel like this band is working for me anymore, so I'm going to let you guys find someone else who is going to be more committed to your project. Good luck." Don't burn any bridges, but don't get into any finger pointing. You really don't need to elaborate on your reasons unless you really want to.

MKT711 · #12 02-24-2008, 10:36 PM

yeah man, i dont know. Its a tough call but hang in there I bet the best band you will ever be in will be the next one.

Bass Odyssey · #13 02-24-2008, 10:49 PM

Whatever you do, avoid passive-aggressive interactions.

B4snrise · #14 02-25-2008, 12:33 PM

I would take the wisdom listed in the previous posts and run like you are leaving a burning building wearing a polyester suit. Once you get to safety I would buy a puncing bag and relieve yourself of further agressions by the sweat of your brow.

Try to leave on good terms if you can cause you never know who knows whom but sometimes that just isn't possible. If it happens they want to be jerks walk away calmly and head back to the bag.

four2oh · #15 02-25-2008, 01:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by James Hart

I find that my philosophy of recording everything helps here. If you play back the gig to the band and they cannot hear the flaws, time to move them on (or move on yourself).

Lots of people that suck, don't know it.

+1 on recording EVERYTHING!

i'm obsessive about recording all practices and gigs. helps immensely to have audio ammo when confronting a bandmate about their playing!

Depth_Charge · #16 02-25-2008, 05:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by B4snrise

I would take the wisdom listed in the previous posts and run like you are leaving a burning building wearing a polyester suit. Once you get to safety I would buy a puncing bag and relieve yourself of further agressions by the sweat of your brow.

Don't do the punching bag thing. Psychologists believe when you relieve frustration through violence, you train your brain to respond to frustration with violence. I recommend running a long distance instead. Best part of that is you will be further away from this band

Quote:

Originally Posted by B4snrise

Try to leave on good terms if you can cause you never know who knows whom but sometimes that just isn't possible. If it happens they want to be jerks walk away calmly and head back to the bag.

+1 to this. Tell them it's just not working out for you and leave on as good terms as you can.