Warning!

Rotosound hound · #1 12-13-2007, 02:16 PM

On December 10th a special, super secret virtual conference was held between high ranking members of several well-known and supremely cool drum forums. I have been dispatched to inform you of the results of that meeting.

It is hereby established that the following shall be entered into the public consciousness as irrefutable truths and stuff.

1.) Drummers are cool, really cool.

2.) We need and deserve more space on stage.

3.) We will hit on your girlfriends if they are cute. Deal with it.

4.) Drummers need a ride home. You are that ride.

5.) Bass players who a.) play a bass with more than four strings, b.) have a rack of gear and 3.) wear their bass "Urkel style" (just under the chin) should spend the break far away from us drummers, we're tryin' to get chicks, man.

6.) Give the drummer some.

7.) Did I mention that drummers are cool? Well, they are.

8.) Do not ever. . ever. . .EVER hit our cymbals with the headstock on your bass.

9.) All bass playing should take place below the fifth fret, preferably on those two fatter strings. Anything else is just noodling and repeated offenses will result in endless "bugada bugada" double bass drum fills.

10.) We promise to stop talking about Neil Peart if you guys will shut up about Jaco.

11.) Yes, we can hear a difference between all those snare drums that look alike. It takes years of experience and a finely tune sense of hearing to recognize the difference between maple and birch. Those effect pedals you use, on the other hand, all sound the same to us.

12.) Stop popping and snapping. If we need a percussionist, we'll hire one.

13.) Phased bass guitar = big-ass china cymbal. You've been warned.

14.) Anyone using a Hofner Beatle bass who is not named Paul McCartney is a weenie. The Rickenbacker is a close second but exceptions are made.

15.) It's your double SVT system in road cases. . .you carry it!

Thanks!

Valerus · #2 12-13-2007, 02:19 PM

Lame. haha.

mjolnir · #3 12-13-2007, 02:32 PM

...This dude serious?

Passinwind · #4 12-13-2007, 02:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rotosound hound

On December 10th a special, super secret virtual conference was held between high ranking members of several well-known and supremely cool drum forums.

LIAR!

There are no cool drum forums, by definition. Nice try though, I'll give you style points.

metalbass66 · #5 12-13-2007, 02:39 PM

If my drummer said this to me, I'd kick the S*** out of him.

Shovelbone · #6 12-13-2007, 02:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Passinwind

LIAR!

There are no cool drum forums, by definition. Nice try though, I'll give you style points.

I think that our percussive friend is delusional!

BigSwami · #7 12-13-2007, 02:40 PM

1.) Drummers are hyper and they need to settle down.

2.) You need to start bringing smaller kits to shows. No one can hear your toms anyway.

3.) We are bass players, so our girlfriends are ugly. If you want to hit on them, knock yourself out.

4.) Drummers need to stop driving hatchbacks and get something you can actually fit a bass drum into.

5.) OK man, that's fair enough. I think we can probably fold on this one.

6.) The drummer's had enough already, to judge by the bottles knocked over under the hi-hat.

7.) Stuff it, meathead.

8.) We won't hit your cymbals with my headstock, OR jump on your kick drum at the end of a set, if you restrict yourself to playing kick drum with only one foot from now on.

9.) All drumming takes place on a hi-hat, a ride cymbal, a crash cymbal, a snare drum, a kick drum, and 3 toms MAXIMUM. Everything else is just a waste of money.

10.) Deal. I will do anything not to have to hear about Neil Peart ever again.

11.) If you use a splash cymbal, I am going to cut your throat with it.

12.) I agree that slapping is overused. Not all of us are Larry Graham incarnate. Please remember that when you play the bell of your ride cymbal for like 3 straight minutes.

13.) Play more than 1 cymbal at a time and I am kicking your hi-hats over 3 inches to the left. Consider this a warning.

14.) Anyone putting their drums on a "rack" instead of stands like normal people is under the impression that this is a Winger concert circa 1990.

15.) If you take more than 30 minutes to set up and adjust your drums, you will be replaced by one of those Chicago plastic bucket kids on the next gig.

Thanks,
Big Swami

mrokern · #8 12-13-2007, 02:51 PM

Rotosound hound · #9 12-13-2007, 02:55 PM

Oh come onguys. . . Big Swami "got it".

If I wanted to inspire a bunch of uptight replies I would have gone to guitarslinger.com.

Lighten up!

mjolnir · #10 12-13-2007, 02:55 PM

Yo, mrokern, ever have trouble with that wireless system crapping out?

mjolnir · #11 12-13-2007, 02:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rotosound hound

Oh come onguys. . . Big Swami "got it".

If I wanted to inspire a bunch of uptight replies I would have gone to guitarslinger.com.

Lighten up!

Wouldn't have taken it seriously if it hadn't have been your first post. Gotta be wary of the newcomers sometimes, like that lady with the drinking problem and the compromising pictures who ended up being a pornstar spamming for exposure...