Apologies if this has been posted before but it is definately worth a 2nd look.
For those of us who do Weddings etc then this is not as far fetched as one may think.....hee hee hee
"Dear Band Leader:
We look forward to your performance at our daughter's wedding. If you don't
mind, we would like to request a few of our favorite songs. Please play these
during the reception:
A Keith Jarrett composition from his solo series. Please arrange it for
ensemble in the key of B but nothing in 4/4 please.
Mahavishnu Orchestra, "Dance of the Maya" and please have the guitarist play
John McLaughlin's solo from the live performance Nov. 16, 1972 at Chrysler
Arena. My wife and I were at that show and we liked his use of polyrhythms.
One of John Coltrane's duets with Pharaoh Sanders. Our guests love High
register tenor saxes. We thought a little Stravinsky right after the toast
would be nice. So please play "The Rite of Spring." We like a tempo of about
quarter note =93 and transpose it down 3 half-steps - it will be so much more
appropriate for this occasion in the slightly lower register.
Then for the candle lighting ceremony, please play Frank Zappa's "The Grand
Wazoo." The original key of B-flat, would be fine but my cousin Jeannie would
like to sing the baritone sax solo in the key of D--she has kind of a high
voice.
When my new son-in-law takes off the garter, please just a little of
Varese's "Lonization" It's such a funny piece, we think it would go over
real well. Much better than "The Stripper." And for the bride & groom's
first dance, please slow things down a bit by doing Barber's "Adagio
For Strings." It's so much classier than "We've Only Just Begun" or
the "Anniversary Waltz."
When my wife and I join in the first dance, could you segue to Thelonius
Monk's "Ruby, My Dear" - it's in honor of my wife's grandmother whose name
was Ruby. It would mean so much to the family.
Thanks for all your help. Depending on the outcome, we'll certainly be
happy to recommend your band to our friends.
We'll have your check for the fee of $250 (minus our expenses of $12.50 in contracting you)
by the end of next month:
we're a little short as the young lady doing the balloon arch wanted her $1,850 in advance
and the DJ had to be paid up front his $2,500 as normal
Our daughter assured us that your love of music was greater than your need for money,
and that you would welcome the exposure you would get from playing this wedding.
Before you leave, please feel free to ask the caterer for a snack sandwich
and a soda (the bottles are returnable or you can pay the deposit to the
butler).
Please use the back entrance to avoid disturbing the guests."