What do they mean by:

[Vakmere]

'Minty' - the gear smells like mouthwash?

'Like new' - it had all those buckle sratches and dings when it first came out of the box?

'Seasoned' - open the control cover and you can smell the oregano, garlic, and onions?

'Looking for singing bass player' - because I can't sing and own the band at the same time?

'Minor player wear' - My 8 year old kid used it as a boat oar?

'Got this bass new last month' - I like paying big bucks for new gear and selling it at a loss?

'Selling the best bass I've ever owned' - I like depriving myself of the good things in life so you can appreciate it?

'Plays like butter' - leaves an oily residue on your fingers and is great with toast?

'My loss your gain' - Now you deal with it.


If you have a few of your own please add them in here. I'm sure this can turn out to be even funnier...

[ironrat]

"100% percent original vintage (insert bass brand or name here)" for $50.

[stantonl]

Don't forget "Relic'd" - Seriously abused this bass but want you to think it looks cool this way?

[xxfaux_punkxx]

Gotta get rid of it quick - stolen.

[A440Hz]

"Minty" = I'd really like to say that this is absolutely mint, even though that's the most overused word on The Bay, but if I do say that and you actually look at the gear when you get it, you might be submitting a PayPal dispute, and I don't get my $$. So, "minty."

I know, not very funny. But the truth.

[Jonathan1990]

No photo - Doesn't exist (Or: no pics, no bass )

[A440Hz]

"Well-loved." That's actually one I would use. It's not dishonest, but it casts wear in the light of having been done with utmost affection. Like some Velveteen Bass.

[TrevorOfDoom]

to quote the Red Green Show: "It's not Used, it's Previously Enjoyed."

[robd]

Rare (color or model...whatever) = I want too much for this and am trying to justify the high price

[bongomania]

In all seriousness, when I see the word "minty", that tells me the seller is a liar. Yes, I'm talking about some TB'ers. There is not one goddam person using the word "minty" who means anything other than "it looks pretty good to me", yet the implication is supposed to be that the item has zero scuffs, dents, scratches, or any other signs of usage. Liars.

[shadowtippy]

"is a player" One of the pups works and it is wired to the jack.

[ProfGumby]

Don't ask me! I'm still trying to find the @#%$^# trust rod on a bass!

[mpdd]

near mint means that the scratches are not visible in certain lighting situations ime

[John Swartz]

"But that can be easily fixed." has many interpretations:

a) No it can't
b) I burned myself with the soldering iron when I tried to do it
c) I'm too lazy to do it myself but I won't cut you a break on the price
d) It's a paperweight until you do
e) You'll spend way more than you planned when you need to take this to a shop

[m_bisson]

"original strings!" - I have no idea how to maintain a bass.

[Vakmere]

'Plays like butter' - leaves an oily residue on your fingers and is great with toast?

[m_bisson]

"Sweetest bass ever!" - Lick it too much and you'll get cavities.
similar to:
"HOT!" - you need oven mitts to play it.
"Looking to upgrade" - This bass kind of sucks, so I want to sell it.

[PJSShearer]

"Minty" in British means that "it stinks"!!

[A440Hz]

"Lawsuit Headstock": Even though you have Google just like me, I'm assuming that you're going to take my word for it that this 80s Japanese-made Hu Flung Dung is really special.

[LaughingGroove]

One of my favorite that I recently saw:

Once played by well know local musican.

(I don't have anything funny to add, but I really could care less who played it once as long as they didn't destroy it)