What you get for helping people

[Onca]

Not really a gig story but I just had to vent this.
I have a friend who I used to jam a lot and ended up on very bad terms with him for some reason. Now he has a brother whos a few years younger and wanted to learn to play the bass. Feeling sorry for him since hes treated like **** by his family of 6, I helped him out a lot. I took him around town in my vehicle looking for a good cheap bass. After sticking my neck out with my friend at the music store, I told them to hold on to a fairly cheap, yet good bass for him despite the months of him being forced to postpone buying it. Eventually he bought it, great, peachy. But he had no amp. being the uncaring parents he had, they refused to buy him even the cheapest amp possible so he was stuck to plugging his bass to speakers and practicing for about 5 months. Thats how pathetic he was during this time.
now a few months back, I went to Uni in the UK. Now seeing as I wont be using my amp until Christmas I decided to lend my ibbie soundwave 15 to him (sure, its a small cheap amp, but Ill get back to that). So despite my dad's protest, I said I trusted the poor kid (hes not really poor, his dad is loaded!) and told him over msn that he can borrow it so long as he takes good care of it.
Now fast forward some more to this week where I'm preparing for arriving back home, I message him on msn, facebook and email telling him to return my amp. No reply, and it seems that he has disappeared off the face of the Internet. A few calls to my friends later, turns out he and his family f***ed off to the US in short notice. Now how the hell do I get my amp back? Who knows :/
I love my Ibanez amp. Even though its cheap o and small, it packs a punch and was with me since I started playing the bass a couple of years back. I got loads of offers as well, from the more senior bassists I know. Im actually thinking of breaking into the guys house and getting my amp back :S
This is what happens when you help people out. Even friends :/
Anyone else have similar stories worth mentioning?

[bassteban]

Sorry about losing your amp, but if he is in the US now what good will it do you to break into his place?

[::::BASSIST::::]

If he's on vacation in the US you can get the amp when he returns. I know you might be frustrated, but perhaps he did not know you were returning?

Dont let this experience stop you from being generous to people in the future. Probably not best to do it to get something out of it. The reward is in the act itself. However, usually doing good things does comeback in some fashion... perhaps seemingly unrelated.

[T-Bird]

Hi.

Valid points in the replies, but...

Like it's been said in several threads:

"Only lend something that You afford to lose"

There's been several threads just like Yours and the outcome has usually been the same.

Now it's a stone cold fact that people only post these kinds of stories when they get shafted, and that distorts the reality a lot. The truth is much nicer than it seems.

Don't be afraid of helping people, even though it's unthankful job most of the time, but don't go giving Your stuff away just because you're a "helpful person". IOW draw a line to personal posessions, I know I do. IMHO only as always of course.

Regards
Sam

[MNAirHead]

Originally Posted by T-Bird

Hi.



"Only lend something that You afford to lose"



Regards
Sam

Very true.. I lend stuff all the time.. probably not my Tier1 junk..

Timmy

[WalterBush]

Sounds like you have a great opportunity to teach this kid how NOT to behave like his parents in these things.

Next time you get a chance to talk to him, gently explain that keeping in touch with someone who loaned you something is the polite thing to do. Unless he left permenantly, in which case it may not be his choice.

Kids often feel guilt when they can't live up to their own expectations, and avoid talking to people they feel they've let down as a result. Cut the guy some slack, and show him how to behave more like an adult. It sounds like his parents may not be teaching him this stuff.

And again, don't lend anything you aren't willing to say good-bye to. That applies to money, gear, cars, whatever. You just never know. Helping people works out more often than not if you keep at it, and it's rewarding to see someone who just needed a hand up start to succeed.

[Slax]

Well at least it's not as bad as my friend, who the other week helped some guy jump his car and ended up getting robbed of all his trumpet equipment totaling over $8,000.

Plus, I'm sure you'll get your amp back when they return from their vacation.

[txbasschik]

This is why I never lend anything to anyone. I can't afford to lose any of it.

I'm sorry he did you like this. I hope your get your amp back, karma teaches him a lesson, or both.

Cherie

[Onca]

Originally Posted by ::::BASSIST::::

If he's on vacation in the US you can get the amp when he returns. I know you might be frustrated, but perhaps he did not know you were returning?

Dont let this experience stop you from being generous to people in the future. Probably not the best to do it to get something out of it. The reward is in the act itself. However, usually doing good things does comeback in some fashion... perhaps seemingly unrelated.

I get what you mean. Hes in the US, he probably left my amp in his old house, since essentials will take priority over anything else when migrating.
well Ill get what you mean by the act itself. But I clearly told him that I will be back in dec and that Ill need it afterwards. I truth, Im sure he wanted to return it, although what he did is extremely irresponsible, which is what upsets me the most.

Sounds like you have a great opportunity to teach this kid how NOT to behave like his parents in these things.

Next time you get a chance to talk to him, gently explain that keeping in touch with someone who loaned you something is the polite thing to do. Unless he left permenantly, in which case it may not be his choice.

Kids often feel guilt when they can't live up to their own expectations, and avoid talking to people they feel they've let down as a result. Cut the guy some slack, and show him how to behave more like an adult. It sounds like his parents may not be teaching him this stuff.

And again, don't lend anything you aren't willing to say good-bye to. That applies to money, gear, cars, whatever. You just never know. Helping people works out more often than not if you keep at it, and it's rewarding to see someone who just needed a hand up start to succeed.

Youre probably right. I wont see him again though. The main reason I did help him was to help him get on his feet in playing. I found him a teacher as well, and gave him a 3 hour lesson on basic stuff. I doubt he meant to cause me any grief. I just cant imagine not having my amp, with the few days of my xmas vacation I was hoping to get some jam time with my friends.
I have lent one of my old basses as well, to another guy. But hes a lot more responsible with it and has took good care of it.

Well at least it's not as bad as my friend, who the other week helped some guy jump his car and ended up getting robbed of all his trumpet equipment totaling over $8,000.

Plus, I'm sure you'll get your amp back when they return from their vacation.

Ouch thats nasty :S

[funkybass4ever]

tell us where in the U S he is and we will send out the tb police to get your stuff back

seriously sometimes it seems like "no good deed goes unpunished".

[::::BASSIST::::]

Ah, I see. That's really too bad.

If you lived in my area I'd lend you an amp.

[Stumbo]

Probably his parents, not him, that have caused your problem.

[t0t0m]

Many people are like that, when they need help they put their nice face, but when the time come you need something from them..they gone..too sad, happened to me all the time.
But that will not stop me and hopefully you also, to help others in need.
what goes around comes around, when you leave good things by some point good things will come back to you.

cheers

[Mike Shevlin]

No good deed goes unpunished.

[sound of bass]

I used to work with a woman who was a high spirited holy roller, and would quote the bible at us, try and correct our foul language, or off color jokes, you know the type. She even had a Psalm embroidered on the back of her hoodie. She home schools her kids, no tv or electronic games, but they have "band" time, the family is a little home band. She knew I played a bass guitar, and she knew I had several of them. One day she told me her daughter wanted to learn bass and asked if I could I lend her one. NOO!! was my reply! I never lend out my basses. Well, after thinking about it for a while, I decided to let her borrow my cheapest, knock off P style. She was soooo grateful! I told her when she had her own (in a few weeks I was told) that I wanted it back. She had it for several months, then moved back to friggin' Mississippi with it! A mistake on her part was leaving her NEW phone # with another coworker, who was equally as pissed as I was, and gave me that number. I called her in Oct. 08, she swore she had every intention of paying for it, I gave her my address and phone #.....still waiting. You cant even trust a bible thumper! I will NEVER lend again, so dont even ask!

[synaesthesia]

When I were a lad I bought a used Tama drum kit, but I was away for two weeks, in the army doing manouveres overseas, in trenches all I thought about was my girlfriend and my newly acquired drums. When we got back for a bit of R & R for a week, I found out my first cousin convinced my mum that he needed to borrow the drums. On contacting said first cousin, I find out he has lent the drums to various bands as he suddenly 'had a kit'. Tracked down where the drums were, band after band, ironically, it was across the road with some kids I didn't know.....when there found them to be Ok and jammed with them on slide guitar.

[Number27]

where in the US is he? seriously, if he's in new england i'll go get the amp for you.

[duff beer]

Originally Posted by Onca

Feeling sorry for him since hes treated like **** by his family of 6

That should have been a red flag...there is usually a very good reason why an entire family hates one member.

[Mr. Mig]

Originally Posted by Mike Shevlin

No good deed goes unpunished.

+1 Sad but true.

[HugheJapackage]

Originally Posted by Onca

Not really a gig story but I just had to vent this.
I have a friend who I used to jam a lot and ended up on very bad terms with him for some reason. Now he has a brother whos a few years younger and wanted to learn to play the bass. Feeling sorry for him since hes treated like **** by his family of 6, I helped him out a lot. I took him around town in my vehicle looking for a good cheap bass. After sticking my neck out with my friend at the music store, I told them to hold on to a fairly cheap, yet good bass for him despite the months of him being forced to postpone buying it. Eventually he bought it, great, peachy. But he had no amp. being the uncaring parents he had, they refused to buy him even the cheapest amp possible so he was stuck to plugging his bass to speakers and practicing for about 5 months. Thats how pathetic he was during this time.
now a few months back, I went to Uni in the UK. Now seeing as I wont be using my amp until Christmas I decided to lend my ibbie soundwave 15 to him (sure, its a small cheap amp, but Ill get back to that). So despite my dad's protest, I said I trusted the poor kid (hes not really poor, his dad is loaded!) and told him over msn that he can borrow it so long as he takes good care of it.
Now fast forward some more to this week where I'm preparing for arriving back home, I message him on msn, facebook and email telling him to return my amp. No reply, and it seems that he has disappeared off the face of the Internet. A few calls to my friends later, turns out he and his family f***ed off to the US in short notice. Now how the hell do I get my amp back? Who knows :/
I love my Ibanez amp. Even though its cheap o and small, it packs a punch and was with me since I started playing the bass a couple of years back. I got loads of offers as well, from the more senior bassists I know. Im actually thinking of breaking into the guys house and getting my amp back :S
This is what happens when you help people out. Even friends :/
Anyone else have similar stories worth mentioning?

Where in the US is he? we'll get it back for ya