Working definition of "guitard"

[wildhorse]

Originally Posted by steveksux

Me too, but I'm offended because I don't think it's couth to use the root word "guitar" to describe anyone. Retarded people should be offended for being compared to guitarists.

Randy

Yeah especially Bass Guitarists!

[JustDavid]

Originally Posted by NickyBass

To be honest, I find the word to be a little offensive. I don't think that it's couth to use the root word '******' to describe anyone.

'******' is contraction/slang for 'mentally retarded', which is no less offensive.

But '******' is also a verb, meaning to delay or stunt growth. And when someone who mostly plays barre chords & parrots someone else's solos feels their opinion of music theory trumps someone who's spent years studying same, I feel 'stunt growth' is an accurate assessment.

[Beginner Bass]

Guitard (Noun)

1) Player of musical instrument, typically guitar, whom gains an inflated opinion of himself due to the sheer fact that he has a certain musical instrument. Phrase typically used by bassists.

2) Player of musical instrument, typically guitar, whom loses all respect of other players of musical instruments due to the sheer fact that he has a certain musical instrument. Phrase typically used by bassists.

3) Player of musical instrument, typically guitar, whom believes that skill at an instrument is less important than the instrument, effects, amplifiers, etc. Phrase typically used by bassists.

4) Player of musical instrument, typically guitar, whom believes he knows everything there is to know about all instruments. Phrase typically used by bassists.

5) Player of musical instrument, typically guitar, whom believes that despite every single piece of evidence claiming otherwise, he will be world-renowned as an amzing musician. Phrase typically used by bassists.

To see examples of these see "Dumb Craigslist Ads Thread" for numbers 3 and 5, and "Dumbest think a guitarist has ever told you" for 1, 2, and 4.

[Byzcat]

Originally Posted by DesertCreature

That's it.

Guitardism seems to be more common among would-be lead guitarists than rhythm gutiarists.

This.


Rhythm guitarists have to be dead on. Lead players can get away with a certain amount of sloppy musicianship. Play fast, abuse the pinch harmonics, and to hell with playing in time with the rest of the band.

[Lady Kayri]

Always figured guitard, keytard, basstard, drumtard, songtard, etc. referred to those whose egos were at least four or five times bigger than their actual talent & skill.

[xgator4u]

Originally Posted by Lady Kayri

Always figured guitard, keytard, basstard, drumtard, songtard, etc. referred to those whose egos were at least four or five times bigger than their actual talent & skill.

That plus a guitarist that is a butt hole, obnoxious, always noodling, Mr. know it all but really knows damn little,Mr. " I am the star" even though I suck,and always plays at full volume,or plays ridiculous, in-appropriate solos = Guitard.

[iridiumrocks]

Originally Posted by Byzcat

Ego and talent generally seem to be inversely proportional.

I have to remember that line. I have also found that to be true. The really talented guitarists are typically the most humble.

[TomA1234]

Guitard: A guitarist that stunts the growth of the band via believing that they are the most talented and knowledgeable at composing music when they barely know the tuning of their own instrument. Their solos usually consist of random notes played on the second half of the fretboard. They believe that bass is there for decoration and that they have taken the easyest instrument option. They have no respect for other band members.

[dingbass]

Originally Posted by irishryno

Guitard - noun - <1>Any person who upon wearing a guitar immediately knows more than anyone else in the room, reguardless of experience, schooling, or talent.
left open for more updates.

I think this could be added to by saying:

"Guitard - noun - <1>any person who upon "purchasing" a guitar immediately knows more than anyone else in the room, reguardless of experience, schooling, or talent".

[Rocker949]

Originally Posted by Byzcat

JustDavid- doesn't necessarily have to be a guy, I just generally run into a lot more guys with guitars slung over their shoulders than chicks.

And, actually, the awesomest musicians I've met generally are the nicest ones.

Ego and talent generally seem to be inversely proportional.

I also find that the best musicians I've been around tend not to have ego problems. Of course, as with anything else, there may be a few exceptions to the rule.

[Jordan M]

Originally Posted by Byzcat

Ego and talent generally seem to be inversely proportional.

Jaco?

I'm reading his biography now, apparently he had a HUGE ego.

[WalterBush]

Hmm, a crack at this from the other direction;

If you frequently spend the first twenty minutes of any rehearsal fiddling with the knobs on your multi-effects unit, trying to find 'your tone' while the rest of the band looks at their watches and says things like, "It's fine, man, let's get started," you might be a guitard.

If you're playing scales and practicing your technique at high speed, and loudly, because the singer stopped talking for two seconds, and often look up to see the rest of the band glaring at you, because you were working out the solo (again) while they were trying to discuss the song arrangement, you might be a guitard.

If you think the bassist is straying out of his place when he showed up with that stupid extra string and that cheapo "Eden" thing, after all, 100 watts is fine for guitar if you crank it...what was wrong with his old 100 watt Fender, it was a FENDER!!!, and now he stomps all over your solos by being audible, you might be a guitard.

[rutty24]

Originally Posted by JustDavid

'******' is contraction/slang for 'mentally retarded', which is no less offensive.

But '******' is also a verb, meaning to delay or stunt growth. And when someone who mostly plays barre chords & parrots someone else's solos feels their opinion of music theory trumps someone who's spent years studying same, I feel 'stunt growth' is an accurate assessment.

i agree ****** is actually a scientific term.

the military use retarded bombs which fall to earth slowly.

i've been playing bass for 4 years now, two seperate bands and none of the 4 guitarists i would have said are guitards. so i guess i'm lucky.

[Byzcat]

Originally Posted by Jordan M

Jaco?

I'm reading his biography now, apparently he had a HUGE ego.

Yeah, well, IMO, Ritchie Blackmore is the second-greatest guitarist EVAH, and he has huge ego problems.

But the great musicians who are assgaskets seem to be in the slim minority. The musicians I've met who I've been most impressed by were also the nicest guys.

[Jazzdogg]

Originally Posted by NickyBass

To be honest, I find the word to be a little offensive. I don't think that it's couth to use the root word '******' to describe anyone.

+1 Isn't it ironic that employing such a juvenile generalization is precisely the kind of behavior one would expect from those whom the appellation is used to describe!

That said, the G-word seems likely to be used to describe a guitarist:
Who lacks a sense of humility;
Whose priorities focus more on style than substance;
Who lacks the ability to correctly describe a chord progression to an educated pianist;
Who lacks the self-discipline to refrain from noodling;
Who can be made to play quietly by placing sheet music before them;
Who believes "their sound" and/or volume is more important than the sound of the band as a whole;
Whose behavior demonstrates contempt for the aspects of professionalism that require its practitioners to behave as adults....