Go Back   TalkBass Forums > Bass Guitar Forums > Bass Guitar Forums > Bass Humor & Gig Stories [BG]
Register Rules/FAQ/CUP Members List Search Today's Posts Mark Forums Read

Bass Humor & Gig Stories [BG] Bass jokes, musician jokes, gigs gone wrong...


Supporting Membership
Thank You

Latest Supporting Member
Donate to Upgrade Today

Reply
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread
  #61  
Old 02-06-2013, 01:56 PM
Registered User
 
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Mechanicsville, Virginia
Probably every band I've ever been in.
  #62  
Old 02-06-2013, 02:11 PM
Registered User
 
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: Nevada
Not the worst, but DEFINITELY the most boring, and the most surprising due to the realization of how damn bored I was which truly I did NOT expect. A few years ago I went to see Steve Vai at the House of Blues in New Orleans as a last minute seat of the pants idea...I knew he would be accompanied by Billy Sheehan and Tony MacAlpine. Sounds pretty interesting, right?

That was the most mind-numbingly boring concert I have EVER attended. It was like being slowly roasted in hell. Sure, Sheehan was great...but not even his virtuosity could save me from the absolute horrid abyss that is Steve Vai's music. Oh God.

Mr. Vai played well, much smoother and controlled than when I saw him in 1986 with David Lee Roth (Vai sucked live then), but his diva delivery-with a fan on him at all times to blow his hair mind you-made me want to punch a dwarf. Not that I dislike dwarves. But I was so damn bored I could feel my toenails growing.

Vai's originals are the musical equivalent of reading a 14 volume insurance seminar's word-by-word detailing of a 1973 cost analysis of the dangers of performing corporate flood risk assessments as they pertain to operations in Yugoslavia vs. Trinidad and Tobago written in Latin.

Why didn't I just leave, you ask? Well...

I was next to the soundboard, and I saw "Shyboy" written on the setlist a few songs from the end of the show. It was one of the only songs I knew on the list, so I figured I'd stay for that. So, I waited. And waited. And waited. And waited. And waited. And waited. And waited. And waited. And waited some more. And waited. And started to look for a dwarf to maul. And waited. And waited. Waited a bit more...

THEM F*CKERS NEVER PLAYED SHYBOY!!!

Turns out they f'n skipped the ONLY song I had an inkling to even want to hear!!!

I was so pissed, I'm even gettin' a 'lil pissed just thinkin' 'bout it. Here I waited what seemed like 9 hours to hear the only redeeming song on the setlist, and the bastards skipped it.

As much as I love Sheehan...I'm SOOOOO glad there wasn't a 'lil dwarf man at that show. I'd be in jail right now.
__________________
Quote:
Originally Posted by vin*tone View Post
More basses should be made out of duckbilled platypus poop.
  #63  
Old 02-06-2013, 02:37 PM
Registered User
 
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Raleighwood, NC
the reunioned Soundgarden playing some live concert on Palladia music channel. nails on a chalkboard. the sound was awful, Chris Cornell is a little too over-the-top with his wounded-dog yelping, lame guitar playing and tone....

i had never heard of Blake Shelton. man, that guy can sing. saw some live intimate show of his (again on Palladia) and he was just down-to-earth and talented.
__________________
G-K Club #887 / CARVIN Club #159 / Tricked-Out Squier Club#207
www.rubbergypsy.com / Twitter / FaceBook / YouTube
"The World's GREATEST Grog-Rock Band"
  #64  
Old 02-06-2013, 04:51 PM
Registered User
 
Join Date: Sep 2011
Autograph opened for Van Halen on the 1984 tour. First time I had ever seen someone get boooooooed off. I will never forget all the crap being flung up there.

The Cult opened up for Billy Idol back in the day. They were pretty horrible that night.
  #65  
Old 02-06-2013, 04:52 PM
Registered User
 
Join Date: Sep 2006
My own, on videotape, from when our lead guitar player was so hammered he could barely stand. And we were the headliners.
  #66  
Old 02-06-2013, 05:42 PM
Registered User
 
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: Prescott, AZ & Hollywood, CA
Scars on Broadway, Epicenter festival in Irvine last year. Awful, talentless.

When they opened for Deftones at the palladium in Nov we (my girl and I) made sure to skip their act and show up in time for Deftones
__________________
MIA Jazz, Les Paul Bass, VM J-5; Basis M-2000, Eden WTDI, Powerhouse 215 EV, Fender PRO 810

Last edited by Mykk : 02-09-2013 at 04:11 PM.
  #67  
Old 02-06-2013, 06:09 PM
Reggaefied User
 
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: Swiss Alps
Supporting Member
Saw some crappy punk bands in the late '70s but it was part of the whole scene and was expected on some multi band shows.

But the worst were always drug or alcohol related, Junior Wells a husk of his former self in Stockholm, couldn't sing or play harp anymore and too drunk to stand, with a cooking Chicago blues band that was openly disgusted with him. Chet Baker in the early '80s coming on stage an hour late so high he couldn't play a note, wandering off stage after 5 minutes saying he forgot something in his hotel, never to return. There were a few others but none as bad as these.

Nazareth playing twiddly electronic music at a '70s multi-band nostalgia festival concert was pretty excruciating and inexplicable, and seeing Chuck Berry with a pickup band that didn't know his music was pretty depressing.

I can't count the number of times great bands were let down by awful sound, strangely enough more often the last few years with poorly set up line arrays and plain awfully balanced and sludgy mixes or pounding bass drums that leave no room for the other instruments to be heard.
  #68  
Old 02-06-2013, 06:14 PM
Registered User
 
Join Date: Apr 2011
Saw the Black Crows back after they broke big. Big disapointment! They outright sucked! Singer was awfull. None of the tunes sounded remotely like the cd.
I felt used for buying a ticket to that sack -o- crap!
__________________
Schecter Club #252 - Hartke Club #245 - Squier Owners Club - Squier Vintage MJ Assoc.
  #69  
Old 02-06-2013, 06:21 PM
Registered User
 
Join Date: Dec 2012
A band from Md. called Eyeball Skeleton,,... and a band called Cory Drive. youtube em.
  #70  
Old 02-06-2013, 06:30 PM
Registered User

Endorsing Artist: DR Strings, Walker-Enfield Cases
 
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: La Jolla, Kalifornia
Quote:
Originally Posted by N.F.A. View Post
On a bad night the Grateful Dead could sound pretty crappy too.

Brother, you have no idea how right you are......


I happened to catch a "show" many, many years back in Phoenix and honest to God - I don't think they had a clue what state they were in - other than a massive "state of confusion".

10 minutes in, my friends and I were gone......
__________________
MarkBass Club #72 - Fender MIA Club #37 - Rickenbacker Club#160 -
Ampeg Club #6 - Fender Jazz Club #35
  #71  
Old 02-06-2013, 06:51 PM
Registered User
 
Join Date: Sep 2006
I paid $25 to see Robert Fripp play music, but all he did was stand next to a stack of processors for an hour. I would gladly have sat through the video for "The Final Countdown" by Europe twenty times.
To boot, it was at a club, we couldn't find seats and had to stand the whole time. I felt like I was being punished.

Edit: Recalling now, he did not actually stand there the whole time. He actually left the stage for most of the time, and the stack just sat there, blinking lights and repeating random notes into infinity. He only occasionally came out on stage (people cheered) and then spent an hour after the show saying that most people who wanted to be professional musicians only did so because they wanted "to be on holiday" for the rest of their lives.

Last edited by PWRL : 02-06-2013 at 06:55 PM.
  #72  
Old 02-06-2013, 07:03 PM
Reggaefied User
 
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: Swiss Alps
Supporting Member
Quote:
Originally Posted by PWRL View Post
I paid $25 to see Robert Fripp play music, but all he did was stand next to a stack of processors for an hour. I would gladly have sat through the video for "The Final Countdown" by Europe twenty times.
To boot, it was at a club, we couldn't find seats and had to stand the whole time. I felt like I was being punished.

Edit: Recalling now, he did not actually stand there the whole time. He actually left the stage for most of the time, and the stack just sat there, blinking lights and repeating random notes into infinity. He only occasionally came out on stage (people cheered) and then spent an hour after the show saying that most people who wanted to be professional musicians only did so because they wanted "to be on holiday" for the rest of their lives.
Fripp played some great guitar, but man could he talk crap to anyone who would listen.
  #73  
Old 02-06-2013, 07:04 PM
Registered User
 
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: California
The worst I've ever seen was at my High School's annual battle of the bands. This band was called "Euphoria" and was made up of some pretty well liked students. They start in with a rendition of Holy Diver. (RJD had just recently passed) This must have been a spur of the moment decision because the lead singer was reading the lyrics off of what was clearly a napkin. Then the song just falls apart halfway through and they spend the next 20 minutes randomly soloing and showing off how good they think they are. No more songs, no structure, just everyone standing around while one or two of the others do something having nothing to do with what the other is doing. It doesn't take long to realize that the band had gotten really nervous, and decided to remedy the situation by getting high in the back of someones car.

The worst professional band that I have ever seen was Passion Pit opening for Muse. They weren't really horrible, they just didn't seem that into it and everything sounded exactly like it does on the recording, like it was all coming out of the DJ's computer. Muse killed.
__________________
Ibanez Club #656, Acoustic Club #242, Epiphone Thunderbird Club #135
  #74  
Old 02-06-2013, 07:07 PM
Edward G.'s Avatar
Registered User
 
Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: Baltimore,MD USA
GOLD Supporting Member
I had no idea it was this terrible out there. What a charmed life I must have!
__________________
Edward G., Baltimore, MD
'You don't always get what you pay for, but you always pay for what you get.' —Don King
  #75  
Old 02-06-2013, 07:08 PM
Registered User
 
Join Date: Sep 2006
Quote:
Originally Posted by One Drop View Post
Fripp played some great guitar, but man could he talk crap to anyone who would listen.
And that's just it. I didn't know what the show was going to be about, and I did get his point, but I would never have paid to just stand there for an hour for whatever it was he was trying to prove that day. If I knew he was going to actually be playing music, that would be much more positive and enjoyable.
  #76  
Old 02-06-2013, 07:50 PM
Registered User
 
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Elmwood, IL
I saw the White Stripes at the Pageant in St. Louis in 2002 they had a band called Clone Defects opening for them. . . and they sucked. The only high points of their set was when the lead singer was spinning his mic around and hit his lead guitarist in the back of the head. A song or two later he ran off-stage to their merch table, grabbed a few shirts and ran back to the stage. He missed his step and wiped out, everyone laughed.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LyniITch53M
__________________
Fender Jazz Bass #981, "I Started on Guitar" #2
  #77  
Old 02-06-2013, 08:07 PM
Registered User
 
Join Date: Jun 2011
These guys: http://www.facebook.com/evictingeden?fref=ts
__________________
My current band: palebluedotband.bandcamp.com
My YouTube channel: youtube.com/user/alcatrazescapee
  #78  
Old 02-06-2013, 08:24 PM
Registered User
 
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Hamilton, Ontario
I don't know the worst local band, because when they're bad I don't take note of their name.

But for bigger bands. The worst I've seen was probably MGMT. The band was all high, and seemed burned out. The two lead guys were on acid or something, one of them was just not present in reality. It wasn't a train wreck, but they weren't tapping into any pocket.
  #79  
Old 02-06-2013, 10:17 PM
Registered User
 
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: los angeles
Quote:
Originally Posted by buzzbass View Post
I saw limp open for Faith No more in a club on the Jersey Shore. that was way cool
Faith no more live is like a religious experience however Bizkit was like an exorcism.
  #80  
Old 02-06-2013, 10:22 PM
Registered User
 
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Nashville, TN
A lynyrd skynyrd cover band that the lead singer walked out and the first three songs were Willie Nelson tunes. Never been so confused before in my life.
Reply


Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

vB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off

Visit TalkBass on Facebook   Download our iOS app   Download our Android app

All times are GMT -6. The time now is 10:11 AM.




© 2012 Talk Music Group Inc. All rights reserved.
Play guitar too? Visit TalkGuitar.com
Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.6.12
Copyright ©2000 - 2013, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.