You Know You're In A Lame Band When------

[rfclef]

You know you are in a lame band when...

... I am your bass player....

[peterbright]

"the bassist's solo includes Hendrix's version of "The Star Spangled Banner""

I can't believe you said that. I play that right after my rendition of Ghost Riders.

[f'nar f'nar]

After reading this thread... I quit music.

[plastik-bass[?]]

the drummer plays gigs shirt less and/or one of the guitarists plays a BC Rich Warlock

[TrevorOfDoom]

Originally Posted by KromaatiKlauun

... you use electronic sequences and these are played through an iPod, discman, or other device for personal use.

(been there)

holy crap! i just got fired from that band!!

[texasgreg]

Originally Posted by the_fonz

your guitarist is kicking you out because you wrote a song about pedophiles
i mean, come on, that was one time

Hey, the Rolling Stones did one...

[lee135]

Great posts, making me want to contribute "The Band from Hell".

Far away and long ago, I had an interesting summer (when I was 16):
I started on tour with a new band that had only six songs (Spontaneous Combustion!)
so the timbale player took twenty minute solos every set and we played Smoke on the Water a few times each night and "made it last"
one stage was small so I was on the floor while the band was above and behind me
the guitar & drummer tried to replace me with an old pal (now that the band was gigging)
the roadie (another pal) ran up a hefty bar tab and dropped stuff a lot (roadie?!)
we couldn't cover the bill for the agent's van driver and ended up playing for nothing
I believe the guitarist had received an advance to buy pedals while we were broke
I was hungry most of the time. No sandwich wives.
the police were after us for emptying the wine cellar and fridge at the last hotel
the hotel went bankrupt (it made the local news)
the agent fired us just before we were to leave for England on an exchange
I ended up back home with $50 less than what I started with

After this adventure I went back to school and got a boring day job. I'll always admire professional musicians but for me music is far better as a hobby and social thing. I learned to ask questions and listen carefully to the answers. I learned to be more perceptive and independent.

[T. B. Player]

The band can be really good....

But if "Brown Eyed Girl" gets added to the set list, I'll quit right then and there. It's the precursor to lamity.

All-time lame band song: "Celebration" (but it becomes tolerable if you can sing "Salivation" instead).

("Let's all salivate and have a good time.")

Z

[detracti]

Originally Posted by ahkiatt

The frontman asks you to use a pick just because Duff Mckagan uses one and his tone sounds nice.

rotflmao I'm in tears.

[SaberXXIII]

The drummer...
-only uses the bass, snare and high hat for the whole night
-Never finishes a song with the rest of the band
-can't lead the band into a song and slows down during solos
-attempts to be backup vocals

[butchblack]

I don't know if this qualifies but I did a blues ensemble where one of the sax players had such bad timing If you asked him to count off a song he couldn't count 1 2 3 4 in time

[MooseLumps]

Originally Posted by driver800

You know you're in a lame band when...

...the bassist's solo includes Hendrix's version of "The Star Spangled Banner".

hey, that was the best rendition of "them damned blue collar tweekers" evar.

[Lelander]

... you have to schedule a clandestine meeting with the guitarist to discuss the the kindest approach for encouraging your sax player to bath before showing up to rehearsal.

... time and time again the lead singer calls out to the crowd, "Allright, this next one's called ****...", raises his arm to hit the downbeat, everyone takes a breath, waits... waits... waits... everyone turns around and watches the drummer as he slowly screws the cap back on his water bottle, puts it down, adjusts his vocal mic, picks up his sticks, and then proceeds to ask the band if we are, indeed, ready to play.

... The guitarist in your blues project, who is 3 beers and 2 shots deep, admits to you on the way to rehearsal that, "I'm thinkin' we should start putting some classic rock covers into the setlist, you know, like the Eagles, man! I just dig the F**ckin' Eagles!".

[mellowgerman]

when you're all playing through 15watt squier amps.

[Atoz]

Originally Posted by SaberXXIII

The drummer...
-only uses the bass, snare and high hat for the whole night
-Never finishes a song with the rest of the band
-can't lead the band into a song and slows down during solos
-attempts to be backup vocals

I didn't know we were in the same band.

[Lelander]

Originally Posted by mellowgerman

when you're all playing through 15watt squier amps.

Dude, are you seriously not hip to the hot new "15 watt Squier" sound?

[B4snrise]

Originally Posted by SaberXXIII

The drummer...
-only uses the bass, snare and high hat for the whole night
-Never finishes a song with the rest of the band
-can't lead the band into a song and slows down during solos
-attempts to be backup vocals

I think they cloned this guy.
In addition, our drummer has some extra features. He can't come in on time and doesn't know the breaks in the songs after a year... ***

[mellowgerman]

Originally Posted by Lelander

Dude, are you seriously not hip to the hot new "15 watt Squier" sound?

hahahahaha i KNOW you're joking.

[TrevorOfDoom]

Originally Posted by mellowgerman

hahahahaha i KNOW you're joking.

is he? you never know around these parts

[Lelander]

Originally Posted by TrevorOfDoom

is he? you never know around these parts

hmm... to tell you the truth I've never played through a 15 watt Squier amp.

I've seen a couple bands that did. None of them had the type of sound that I could imagine others trying to emulate.